some one tell me a joke!!!!!!!?

Question

im bord as a door knob so someone tell me a joke

Answer 1

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

BLONDE JOKES?



A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she
does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."


What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."


Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

Answer 3

OK. This isn't a joke, but it's a funny story.

All her life, my grandmother lived in rural Oklahoma, in a small town where everyone knew everyone else.

Well, one night she heard weird noises outside and looked out the window. She saw three teenage boys stealing gas from her car. So she went out back where she had a dog tied up. As soon as the dog saw her coming, he knew those boys weren't supposed to be there. So when she let him off the leash, he tore after those boys and chased them all the way out to the railroad tracks, roughly a few miles away. He came back with a piece of one boy's pants (the seat part) in his mouth.

My great-grandpa Jack, her father, lived next door, and heard about the incident. He knew those three boys, so he went to town and visited the barbershop. In those days, it was where everyone went to talk and share gossip and news. Sure enough, the boys were there, and Grandpa Jack began to act sad, bemoaning the loss of his dog. He talked about how he had to shoot his dog because it had rabies. The dog didn't really have rabies, but Grandpa Jack thought he'd give the boys a good scare. It worked, and they ran to the doctor in a total panic, claiming that they'd been bitten by a dog with rabies. So the doctor called up Grandma and asked, "Does your dog have rabies?" Grandma frowned and said, "No!" The boys got shots anyway. And in those days, a shot was more painful because the needle was bigger than the ones we have now.

True story!

Answer 4

Give me one minute...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
I was JUST about to post another joke when I realized that AZZ had posted it. You should have seen my surprised expression!

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
is clear."

Answer 5

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Lol!!

Answer 6

A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

Answer 7

Irish poker

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishman you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home!"

"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher

Answer 8

bush and blair..... they are the best joke..