Is 18/19/20 too young to have a baby?

Question

I'm currently 18 almost 19, and deeply in love with my boyfriend who's 21. I've been with him for 2 years, and see no end either. I know what love is, so don't tell me I'm too young. I find myself much more mature than most people older than me. Recently, I've been thinking about having a baby. I see people with infants, and I feel so jealous. I would love to take care and raise another life. I think a baby is such a precious thing, and raising it as my son/daughter would be a life changing event. My parents are pretty protective of me, especially my dad. He doesn't me want to have a child well into my 30's =P. But I can honestly say, that I personally think I can take care of something as special as another person.

I base most of my actions in the eyes of the public. If I'll get shunned for something I do, then of course I won't do it. I need your HONEST opinions.

Answer 1

marry him first, live with him and see if u really want to stay with him for the rest of ur life... then go for it.

Answer 2

If you are financially set, have talked it over with your b/f, then think about it.

I was 16 when I had my first child. I wouldn't change it for the world! I was able to finish High School, get an apartment and job.

You have to seriously think about raising a child. It's not just smiles and laughs. (I'm not preaching)

How much do you and your b/f make a year? Figure in how much a baby would cost, bills, ETC and see what you are left with. Do you have your own place?

I know this is the part that people do not want to think about, but honestly it's something you really need to think about.
Are you going to be able to raise this child alone if something should happen between you and your b/f?

I was younger then you when I had my first child so please don't think I am preaching :) I am just making sure you have thought about all this.

Here is a fun web page where you can put in the calculations of what you would be buying for your child and see approximately how much it would cost:

http://www.mjbovo.com/Pregnancy/BabyCost.htm

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

I was pregnant when I was 19 and had a miscarriage, my boyfriend wanted to get married because I was pregnant and even after the miscarriage he still wanted to...so I was 19 and he was 18...that was in April and in May we both turned a year older...so we're married and I'm pregnant again...we are very much in love and we dated for 2 1/2 years and we never planned a baby, to many things can go wrong...wait til you're married, that way you know his true intentions and that he wants to be with you forever and make a family...but dont base you're decision on what anyone says or thinks about you, just consider your relationship and if things will change with a baby, it can take up a lot of your time and feelings can change, just talk it over and think about it, dont let your heart do the thinking...you have a mind for that, good luck

Answer 4

Well I was 22 when i had my daughter, now I am 30 My husband and I have been together since we were 15, the best thing i can tell you, it is your choice, but It is very hard, you being young you have alot of time to think about it, your whole life changes and your boyfriend has to make sacrifices also, money gets tighter, and you just can't pick up and go.. If I could go back and wait I would! I think i would just now be having kids. seriously at 30..
We would be more stable financially, because it really does change your life. I love my 2 girls, one is 8 and the other 3, but there are trying times, and sometimes dads don't see that..

Answer 5

I have 4 children. I was 20, 23, 26, and 38 (nope, not a typo - #4 was a BIG surprise, born after I was on The Pill for 11 years and big sibs were 18, 15, and 12!). I was married when I was 18 and my husband was 19, we just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary in June. Yes, you can have a child when you are young. The key is to be content with who YOU are and not use others as the barometer for what is right for you. Several things to consider before making the decision to have a baby, one is to be sure that your boyfriend is as deeply committed to you as you are to him and does he want to become a father as much as you want to become a mother? Another thing is to consider the dreams and goals you have for yourself. If you would like to travel or further your education or have a career, these things are all possible with a baby, but are much more difficult and require a great deal of sacrifice on your part. My oldest 2 children were born while I was a college student studying to become a teacher and teaching kindergarten at a preschool. It can be done, but I was exhausted most of the time. I can understand your parents' protectiveness of you and you will understand it as well when you become a parent. But, you are legally an adult and must make your own decisions as well as live with the consequences of those decisions. Your parents do not want to see you hurt and want the best for you. A true sign of your maturity will be when you can make decisions based on your own desires and what is best for your life regardless of the opinions of others. As a parent, you will make mistakes, strangers will judge you, you will second guess yourself constantly, and you will experience the greatest love you have ever felt in your life. It is a great and wonderful thing to be a parent, for me it was the greatest desire of my life to be a mom and I seldom regret having my kids at the age that I did.

Answer 6

A child needs a mother and a father. A child needs a stable environment which means you are married, educated, have a job, your own car, house, can still afford all of the things a baby needs-diapers, babysitter, toys, clothes, food, good medical insurance. Once you have a baby, your time is not your own. You cannot just pick up and go out to a restaurant or movie, or shopping. You have to do it around the baby's eat/sleep schedule. The baby/child may scream the whole time. It is not all fun and games. It is very hard and you cannot do it alone. There is plenty of time. Think about it. It is wonderful to have a child, I have 2. My husband and I got married at 21. We wanted time for ourselves alone first. We had our first child at 28. You are only young once. Enjoy it a little while longer.

Answer 7

Honey, 18-19 is a little young for a baby. You should at least be married first. Realize that a baby is a huge responsibility - time and money, and FOREVER changes your life (and your boyfriends). Do you have a good job? Health insurance to provide for your child? Your own place? Money to provide your child with clothing, food and doctor costs? And if you have a job, money for day care which is $expensive$? Are you no longer interested in going to parties, concerts, friends house at any time of day or night, or ever experiencing going to a bar, club, Las Vegas or being able to legally order a beer somewhere, with "adults"? You have a lot of thinking to do. Good luck!! This is not something to take lightly...

Answer 8

I met my husband when we were 12, we started dating around my 16th birthday. We got married at 19 and didn't have a baby until 23 and after 10 years together and trying everything I thought I REALLY wanted (marriage, children) what I really ended up being was jealous of people my age who got to develop a sense of SELF before I had to go from being a daughter to being a wife to being a mother.

Believe me, I sounded very much like you and I really felt I was making the right decisions and that I wanted to be part of something bigger SOONER rather than later. I was mature, we were ready! But we have regrets.

Now I agree with the formula I heard in my 20s where they believed the best thing for us would be to not get married until 30 and not have children until 35. No serious / monogamous relationships until after 25. People should give themselves a chance to study higher education and try a career out, take some time to live life for themselves and love themselves before moving on to relationships and marriage.

What was that song? 'Popular" or "How To Be Popular" where the guy gives spoken instructions and he includes dating and that no one should date for longer than one month - no hard feelings - just move on after a few months you could even date again. I think it would be nice if people could date for a period w/o having to invest their entire emotional future on the relationship, like I did.

Answer 9

First of all your not even MARRIED. People should make a commitment to each other before having kids. Do you actually want a "baby daddy"? Or do you want to have stable family. 2 years is not that long. It's really not how old you are, it's if your married and ready. Women have babies that young a lot and are wonderful mothers.

By the way most people your age think they are more mature than other people that age

Answer 10

No I don't think you are too young. But the question is are you ready. Having a baby is a lot more then feeding it, and playing with it, and cuddling it. Are you ready to financially take care of it? Really think of it. Daycare expense, diapers, formula, clothes, cribs, car-seats, medical care, medication. Are you prepared to deal with complications? Physical and mental. Your child could be born with health problems, prematurity(Like my daughter), retardation, dwarfism, anything. Do you work? How much is daycare in your area? Do they except infants? how much do they charge? Do they have openings? Does your job(if you work) offer maternity leave? Will they pay for you to be off? will you have a job to come back to? Do you have weird work hours? How much time will you be able to spend with your child? Are willing to do this alone?...Men sometimes say they'll be there, but when it happens it's another story.

Yeah are you ready? It sounds like fun and all hugs and kisses, but life can present challenges are you provide for your life's challenges and probably your child's.

Answer 11

Its hard being a mother. Can you afford one? It takes alot of money to raise a child and you should wait until your married before having a child. You want the best for your child right? Well you need to think about the baby's need instead of yours. I'm not saying your to young because i don't know you but i do know that you really need to take in consideration what it takes to care for a child. Is your boyfriend ready for a child thats also something that you need to think about