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he is dening it, and said he never did it, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD FOUND IT?

2006-08-17 13:50:52 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

32 answers

If I found out my husband joined the personals,I would ask him why? I would seriously set him down and have a talk with him. Let him know you still love him.Do not flip out on him because it does not solve anything! Let him know you are upset about it and really concerned and that you love him. Because being angry won't fix anything it may drive him away and I am sure you want to works things out.

2006-08-17 14:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by wizegirl_70 2 · 0 0

If you found it, show it to his face and ask what he was thinking of it at the time he did it, and what he is thinking now. I would be very upset and either need counseling or considered breaking up because if it is true he did that, then that means he is searching and looking elsewhere. His mind is not set on a future with you.. and if it still is and he just planned on having an affair, than there is something really wrong with him. He does not have the respect for another human's feelings and the respect of a relationship. Someone with their act together would not do this to someone they say they love.

2006-08-17 13:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

well the last thing i would do is talk to him about it, which it sounds like you already did, and that blew your chance to really find out if he would follow through to a response to the ad, and alot of other things. Now he will be on his guard.

I would have first of all not mentioned it, because if I was wrong about the ad, I would have egg on my face AND look like I cruise the personal ads behind his back. bad .

I would have had several girlfriends he doesn't know well call the ad, (like a girl from work he hasnt met yet) ... and I would enlist several girls to call and then report to me what kind of response they got. If he made a date, I would have one of the girls actually follow through, and I would follow and take a few pictures, and have her record some of it.

Then I would call the ad myself, disguise my voice a little, and make a date. When I met him, I would show up at the meeting place, sit down and tell him its over, leaving a few copies of the photos in his lap.

2006-08-17 14:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by smith 4 · 1 0

I am recently divorced. I was on the personal and met someone. Things were going so well we both pulled out ads. I went on one day to make sure I had not got someone send my a message since so I could give a courtesy reply. I noticed my girlfriends was back up. I ask her about it and she said she was "playing around". Two weeks later we broke up. All I can say is...I have never taken that as a good sign. You guy need to have a "SERIOUS" dicussion.

2006-08-17 13:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He is looking for better sex which equal emotional happyness for all men!!!

You are the type that may not do anal or oral
or just stop being interested in sex as much as you was in the being of the marriage.

Sex 4 men is emotional for women it may be come just physical this will push your man away from you to emotional depression.
Imaging your man not talking to you for a month. Not one word! This is the equal feeling that a man goes through when the sex life is not fisrt priorty Just as you would like your emotions to be a high priorty you must make his emotions (sex) a high priorty so he would not be seeking that conection through out side sources!!!

Really start liking sex more no man will cheat becuase the sex is great!
Only because it is hard to get from his own wife or she don't seem to be interest in it or it she does it like a chor or she don't do anal maybe oral men always tell us what they want some times we don't choose not to respect thier wish yet we know what he wants:
Here is some tips:

1 Start don't wait 4 him to start it shows a man you want him
practice making the first move it pays off!

2 Get all the help you can Read CHRISTIAN marriage books women feel funny aboout doing some things, Get over it!
what do you want to keep more you marriage or your pride?

3 Don't bother him over the personals issue (remember before a tree has leaves it has roots first) if you address the root the personals issue will die

4 Also men need trust! He may be scared from trust issues. I can tell from what you wrote that you don't trust him but like a cut on your hand must be covered to heal and cleaned to prevent infection: All reasons not to trust him must be covered with forgiveness and cleaned with forgetfulnees.

5 If you are serious about you marriage pray to God and in the name of Jesus ask him to heal all emotional wounds cause by him to you and to heal the ones cause by you to him. Next follow my advice!

Remeber this is your marriage take this advice seriously
"To kill a leaf you must address the root!"
Also don't forget to ask God in Jesus name That is what Jesus is for to tell God what we need!

PEACE!

Have a nice day!!!

2006-08-17 14:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

actually I did. He claims that he never met any of them but just got emails from them. Well, I found out not to long ago when I got on his email. I yelled at him. Told him I would not tolerate it and why a married man should not even have a profile. He said he did not understand but erased it a day later.

2006-08-17 13:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by aeseiler2 2 · 0 0

too much here. I don't know the state of your marriage. But if he has done that, and you know it without a doubt...talk to him about it, seek counselling. ask him why he did it, what's wrong with him. and if he just turns out to be a jerk....walk 50 feet in any direction, you'll find a better man. But try to make your marriage work. OR JOIN THE SAME PERSONALS AS A STRANGER AND GET HIM TALKING!

2006-08-17 13:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Talk to him about it and figure out together how your marriage could be more fulfilling for BOTH of you. He shouldn't be putting ads in the Personal's. Believe me, working on your marriage (yep... it's both of you, not just him) before it gets to a "cheating" stage is a far better option than divorce.

2006-08-17 14:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by pinebarrons1 2 · 0 0

If i found out i would prolly react the same why you are but you need to try and get your head clear knowing he's not going to admit it and knowing hes lying because people just dont know your personal information like you and him do and you know it wasn't you i would kick his butt out!!!Dont that make you wonder if her went to that extent what else he's lying about? I sure would..and i sure would NEVER trust him again...

2006-08-17 14:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

play the game with him since he is denying it set up your own personals and find his code print it out and bust him with it you know there are a lot of married men on the net this days ling and saying they are single to meet womens but you could also tell him since he has one you have one to and see how he like it good luck PS what done in the dark always come to the light smile

2006-08-17 14:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by poda 3 · 0 0

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