Is it him or is it me?

Question

I was very vulnerable, low self esteem just came out of a divorce....in dating I allowed a guy to treat me with disrespect, my question is did this man seek out someone with low self esteem so he could control me ..meaning he has the problem and would he treat all women this way or did he only treat me this way because I allowed him to.....are there men out there who would treat a women with kindness, thoughtfulness, and respect if they have low self esteem?

Answer 1

it was the guy. He likes to control people. And yes there are guys out there that treat women with respect and kindness. But they are harder to find and something to forever treasure.

Answer 2

No, it's not your fault. Guys that do that have low self esteem themselves. They are going to go after someone who is weaker than them because when they can treat someone like crap and get away with it, it makes them feel tough and it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

THere are lots of good guys out there and if anything a man that is truly good will treat you so good that he will help raise your self esteem

Just start staying away from the guys that treat you so badly. You know that they are, so the minute you see it just walk away , don't even enter into the relationship

The good thing is you recognize there is a problem. That is very good. Take care. Be careful

Answer 3

Guys that are control freaks and/or have inferiority complex will seek out women with low self esteem (and women with low self esteem will seek out guys that are like that). A guy that's not that way won't suddenly develop those tendencies when they hook up with a woman with low self esteem.

But you should fix your low self esteem problem, it's not exactly a positive attribute. Generally a man that treats women with kindness and respect usually won't be attracted to women with low self esteem, and vice versa. Yup, many times even when women with low self esteem manage to snag themselves a good guy, they'll end up sabotaging the relationship themselves, and hook up with some crazy mofo. Seen it happen many times with my own eyes; the victims seek out their own predators, it's a sick symbiotic relationship.

Answer 4

I am gonna say that he sought you out, because he likes treating girls that way and you seemed at the time to be someone he could get away with it. You can find a great guy. See the good stuff that is about you and remember that if a guy is interested in you, there is a reason he is..weather you can see the good stuff inside you or not, more than likely he can. good luck. :)

Answer 5

THIS GUY SOUNDS LIKE A REALL FUC KING PRICK!! YES UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE SOOOO MANY AS S HOLES OUT THER!! AS S HOLES LIKE THAT KINDA CAN SENSE A WOMEN WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER LOW SELF ESTEEM ARE NOT GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME TO HEAL GIRL!! AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANOTHER PRICK SO FAST WHEN YOU JUST GOT RID OF ONE!! BUY A DILDO THEY DO WONDERS FOR YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND THEY ARE SO FUN!!

Answer 6

sounds like you both have a problem. Focus on building up your self-esteem instead of waiting for a guy to come to your rescue. You will be much happier.

Answer 7

the guy was a control freak and i respect every one

Answer 8

I think we have radar that locks on to a person who "fits". That's a bummer isn't it?

Answer 9

i think he took alittle advantage of u

u need to put your foot down

Answer 10

how can you expect someone else to care more for you than you do for yourself