My Dad died 3 and 1/2 yrs ago of lung cancer. He was one week short of his 60th birthday and three weeks past the birth of his first graddaughter. All this time has passed and I still grieve as if it were the first night after he died. He was such a good person and friend and it is just so unreal to me. It's like he's missing or something, I can't explain it. Sometimes I find myself looking forward to death so I can see him again. I dream of him often and sometimes that makes the pain even worse.
I guess i'm looking for others who have had personal losses that you're finding hard to get past. Not that you ever ever get over it, but the pain seems to never get easier.......
2006-08-17 13:18:32 · 21 answers · asked by flipit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can totally relate...my dad died of cancer six years ago, two months shy of his 60th birthday. He worked on the railroad for 43 years and was really looking forward to retirement. My dad was very smart, witty, and generous. He loved to read, garden, and cook. I'll never forget the first Father's Day without him. I was in Walmart looking for Father's Day cards for my brothers and I had a complete meltdown. I left my cart in the aisle and went out to my car and just sobbed. I wish I had some great advice for you. But I hope you know that it's okay to miss him and grieve his death. Some people try to put a time limit on grief and tell you that in x amount of years, you should be done grieving. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my dad. I remember the day he died like it happened today. I always try to remember happy times with my dad, and somehow, that makes it just a little bit easier to cope. I am very sorry for your loss and I wish you better days ahead!
2006-08-17 13:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off I am really sorry for your loss...in time it will start to heal but you need to realize that you spent a lifetime with him and 3 1/2 years is really not that long in the grief process. I lost my pop-pop when I was 14, I am 26 now and still miss and love him like crazy but time really does heal. Go to his plot and talk with him, I do it all the time and when I leave I feel awesome eventhough you may or may not believe in an afterlife just being there and thinking about all the great times and person he was is an awesome cure all! Good Luck! : )
2006-08-17 20:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by natmys333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does and you have to think of it differently. Your dad had a good life and now you have yours to live. He was god's child and God took him home. It's natural to feel pain and miss him and for the grieving to continue a long time. If you feel the grief is unbearable, I recommend seeking the help of the counselor. They are good at helping you to learn how to accept change and the things you cannot control and how to move on.
I lost my brother in high school. My dad 8 years ago. My best friend and her entire family in a plane crash. Both of my grandmothers in 6 months of each other. 4 people from my high school in all different accidents in a one week period - I'll stop here...
You have to realize that no matter what your loss is that you are a lucky person. I don't know your situation, but if you have a healthy child and you are healthy and you are able to provide for your family and live a comfortable life, then you are one of the luckiest people.
2006-08-17 20:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by Sharp Marble 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same all the time, my brother was killed a few years back he had just turned 18, we lived with our grandma and were very close I followed him every where stuck to his side i soo looked up to him, he has been gone awhile but it feels like yesterday he was with out a doubt my best friend, and I'm still so lost without him.. Some times I feel I'm forgetting his face or the sound of his voice and wow it's hard to let go..
I was in a car wreck and before he could get to the hosptial to me on his way he was shot in the head and killed and the man who did it was old sooo he got less than a year in jail... The whole thing destroyed my family and everyone fell apart and went their own ways and no one talks about it... He'll always be in my heart and not ONE day goes by I don't think of him..
I wish you the best and god bless you!
2006-08-17 20:32:06 · answer #4 · answered by S&S Dragons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grieving is a natural process in which we all must go through at one time or another. I too, have lost both of my parents. My dad first and then my mom years later. I also miss them very much and wish they could be here.
What helps me is that when I wish that they could be here with me, I then think that I am being selfish. I would not want them to be here again, not because I did not love them, but because, just like your dad, they suffered so greatly and I would never want to put them through that again.
You need to remember all the little things that your dad did with you and for you and hold them in your heart with a smile. To be able to remember these things is a blessing to be cherished. You remember who he was and what he stood for, not the fact that he "has died". Your special moments with your dad should place a smile on your face, and love in your heart.
2006-08-17 21:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by Tweek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dad passed away in 1997 and to this day there are things that trigger my tears when I think of him. Every year on my birthday I can swear I hear him singing "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to." It never goes away, but it will get better with time. You may also want to seek counseling to help you grieve.
2006-08-17 20:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by nikkimccarty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend died when we were 25 years old. I had known her since we were toddlers and we were so much alike, it was more like losing my twin sister.
I ended up going for grief counseling for about 6 months to help me cope.
I still miss her--14 years later-- and there are still things that make me cry when I think about her not being here.
It has gotten easier to deal with her being gone, but its more like I have learned to deal with it rather than it feeling better.
Its really hard...
2006-08-17 20:29:11 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever watch Sylvia Brown, when you dream of a passed over loved one, it is them coming to visit you. They come to you alot more often than you would ever think. Your father would want you to be happy, and not think about dieing, think about your life ahead, you can talk to your dad and he will hear you. I believe that. Watch Sylvia Brown. In So. California on wed. on the montel williams show two times per day.
2006-08-17 20:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by June V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek out a counselor to help you. I was a Hospice nurse and the grieving process is normal but you are not able to move on. Call a Hospice in your area and they will offer assistance. You need to move on with life. I am sure your father would not want this to continue.
2006-08-17 20:24:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sooo sorry this is happening to you but you have to know that he would not want you to feel this way. everything happens for a reason and it was his time Im not saying you should just forget abou tit but sometimes you got to just go on and live your life to the fullest 59 is a young age to go and no one is gaurenteed tomorrow so live your life sweetie and never wish for death it will come soon enough for us all. Good luck
2006-08-17 20:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by faithfullyyours 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋