I have a 2/12 and a 1 yr old they just recently started daycare full time, they love to go but when i pick them up and we get home they completely meltdown. for like hrs. whats up am i alone and what can i do to help them? i try everything but they dont want anything but to just be held all night long.
2006-08-17 12:56:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This looks like a clear case of "We're missing Mommy and we're going to punish her for leaving us at daycare" They're tired and they're a bit mad that you're not with them during the day. I suggest that, if you can, cut back on their hours and gradually work up to full time daycare. If you can't, perhaps the best thing to do is maintain a schedule that they can expect. Something like this:
5:30 Pick up from daycare
6:00 Arrive home and eat dinner
6:30 Bath time! Brush teeth, put on PJs
7:00 Quiet time with Mom. Read stories for 30 minutes
7:30 Off to bed. Sweet dreams, little bunnies....
If they know what to expect, there's a good chance their behavior will improve. Toddlers need stability and a schedule - it's very important. At their ages, they still need a LOT of sleep, so 7:30 isn't too early. Try to shoot for 12 hours a night for them.
Good luck! I wish you didn't have to work :(
2006-08-17 13:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My kids are the same age! They were in daycare, but we've moved recently and are now closer to my mom, so she watches them for us during the week.
When my older son was in daycare, he would have a meltdown every night as soon as we walked in the door. I'm tired from working all day and having a long drive home, I've got to cook dinner, and I have a huge pile of laundry staring me in the face. Then he starts up! For a while there, I was convinced that he hated me. Either that or the toys we had at home were boring to him. LOL My younger son wasn't in daycare long before we moved...maybe a few months, so he never melted down.
My 2 1/2 year old STILL has meltdowns every night when I get home from work (even though he's home with my mom all day She watches them at our house.) His 13 month old brother is starting to melt down. I can get a GLOWING report from my mom..."Oh, they were little angels all day! They played well together, ate a great breakfast and lunch, took a long nap..." blah blah blah, and the MINUTE I walk through the door, the whining and crying starts. Seriously...I can't even go to the bathroom and change my clothes. They both run up to me with their arms out and won't let me do ANYTHING. And God forbid I don't hold them long enough. They don't understand that if I don't go get dinner ready, we'll be eating at 9 p.m.!
From what I've heard from other experienced mothers, it's VERY common for a child to have a melt down at the end of the day. Even though they're not technically "working", they've still had a long day and are tired, just like us. I guess it's very common during the terrible twos, especially, and they WILL grow out of it.
2006-08-18 07:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there are several parts to the reason why.
Obviously they have missed you, you know that. You are their universe and they think they need you every single second.
They are also punishing you for going away; they're angry at you and this is their way of showing it.
They are also trying to reassure themselves that you still love them. Since you can leave them all day, they wonder if you don't love them as much as you used to; they figure that if you will put up with this meltdown, then obviously you do still love them. It's a test.
That's my opinion. I have a three year old who's just started daycare, but whose life is further complicated by spending three nights per week with his dad's family. We are having some pretty awful meltdowns too. All I can do is ignore worst stuff and offer constant love and reassurance. Good night, and good luck.
2006-08-18 18:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times in daycare the kids do not rest well at nap time. My daughter had meltdowns too because she was worn out!! I used to make her take a 30 minute rest period when she got home from daycare and that seemed to help with the meltdowns!
2006-08-17 13:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by jiffypop88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know just what you are talking about. I have 2, 3, 5 year olds in full time day care. When I first started taking them, they would fuss and cling all night long. If your kids aren't used to you being gone all day long, they are probably reacting to being away from you for prolonged periods of time. Make sure you let them know every morning that you WILL pick them up at the end of the day. Let them know where you go when they are in day care. At the end of the day try to set aside some special time for each of them to cuddle and tell them how much they mean to you. Once they realize you aren't just dumping them, they will settle into the day care routine. It just takes time for kids to be comfortable being left with someone else all the time. Good luck
2006-08-17 15:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by sixkids_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UGH, I hear you. I have a 3 yr old (just turned) and a 1 yr old, and it's the same thing, especially the older one. I'm not so sure for us that it's daycare, I think it's more timing, they're always bad around late afternoon/evening. If yours weren't like that before, they're probbaly just adjusting, and will calm down soon.
2006-08-17 13:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by Riana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the book "What to Expect the Toddler Years" (a sequel to "What to Expect When You're Expecting"), it actually means that they feel safe with you and love you. They have been on their best behavior all day in a place that's not quite home.
The best suggestion is to continue to be patient with them (I know it's hard - especially after a long day of work for you!) and to be consistent with your expectations for their behavior.
Also, if possible, call the day care 5 - 10 minutes before you'll be arriving there so the day care worker can help prepare them for the transition.
Good luck!
2006-08-17 21:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by midlandsharon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through that, but you must understand the change is starting to affect your kids...give them some time and they will adjust to being in a daycare and not with you constantly...
2006-08-17 13:01:52 · answer #8 · answered by KnA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They miss Mommy.
My 4-year-old son was in speech therapy for one hour once a week this past summer--and I had to wait outside for him. He'd cooperate and do fine, but once he saw me, he started crying--he missed me.
One thing that would REALLY be helpful, to be honest--if you are able to, stay home with them. Children need their mothers. Daycare is a poor substitute.
2006-08-17 15:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess like adults after a long day at work,they just want to crash and unwind. Maybe reading to them,playing calming music may help them during the evening.
2006-08-17 13:10:59 · answer #10 · answered by leabone75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋