Why is love sooo hard?

Question

i have been with this guy for almost two years now. he is my first everything. i love him to death. we planned to get married soon, but it has seemed like we have grown apart just a bit. we have been arguing more than ususal and it has been taking us longer too make up too. so we end up breaking up with each other out of anger, then getting bact together later. i think we should taeke a break for a while but we are stuck on each other. other guys don't even interst me anymore and claims its the same for him. we can't even go two days without callin or seeing each other. why is so hard for us to let go when it might be the best thing for us?

Answer 1

You have to focus on what's important to you and NOT so much the affectionate gestures (hard as that maybe), and go back to what you saw in the beginning, the "fun factor", both you need are probably at the "pressure" stage and that is stressing out you and the relationship. Do fun stuff together, no pressure and just get back to being really close friends and romantic partners. Do that for as long as you can, talk about childhoods, what bothers you both about the future and family planning, your future family budget anything that is important. If you both are in this together, talk about the stress and the anger and find the solution, don't focus on the problems or the why's but do address them.
If you cannot talk about it, don't a break from communication but take a break from too much physical contact, from personal experience, I can tell you (from personal experience) that as a woman , too much affection and a lack of meaningful communicaton on key issues can "blind" you to a whole lot of serious issues. Try to keep the affection to a minimum and get to know your man all over again. If you both try it will be worth it.

Answer 2

Because you have imagined that perfect future together, when you have kids and run the house yourselves and because of this you were afraid that having someone else wouldn't fulfill that dream you've discretely build. You have invested too much on the relationship and it would be hard to just ignore it.

Why let go? Why consider it the best way? Sometimes people look and search too hard for something that is just waiting to be found. thinking that somehow, someone may came around. but what if that someone your looking for was the one you thought you'd never need..? Regret and tears can't bring them back.

the fact that you'd get back no matter how long the break up is just means that you both need each other.. and what's the closest thing of needing each other..? LOVE...

Answer 3

maybe it's that one of you or maybe both of you is loosing interest in, not the relationship, but eachother. i went through the same thing except not as serious as yours. maybe you both think you know everything about eachother that you don't even have interesting conversations anymore. Am I right? Taking a break might be the right thing for you to do, but if your living together maybe you should just put space between eachother. i reacted to my problem by taking a LONG break. the guy i was with didn't call me for a week, then he started calling me slowly and asking more questions about me. he's slowly gaining his interest back but we're not quite there yet. i don't know if that's the way for you to go, but if you feel like this is the guy you're supposed to be with and it's slipping away, anything is worth a try. if you're as close as you say you are, then you have nothing to loose. oh and if it doesn't work out right away, just be patient. time is the best healer.

Answer 4

if he is your first for everything that is why it is hard for you to let him go.. He is your first love and once you got a first love you will never forget them!! Taking a break is hard when you in love but, if you feel it's the best thing then try it! I mean think of that saying, Let him go and if or when he comes back you know he is the one! So good luck with him! You guys probably don't notice it yet, but all people who are in love argue all the time!!

Answer 5

You must be truly determined to leave this guy. It takes a lot of will power, especially if you have grown accustomed to his friendship. But what good is a relationship when you have grown apart, and the frequent break-ups?

If you really want to know if your relationship can work, then do take a break from one another. Try being apart for a month and see how it goes.

Answer 6

Love isn't always perfect. It isn't a fairytale or a storybook. And it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on & never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, & impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, Love is realizing that every hour, every minute, & every second was worth it because you did it together.

Answer 7

if there is a tiny red flag before marriage it becomes giant during marriage... all the stuff that annoys you now will magnify 1000x ... No matter what you have to look at the person and KNOW they will not change. What they are now will be there forever... and when you complain after 3 or 4 years of marriage ... It was there when you married them

Answer 8

I don't think we really learn to appreciate love till we go threw test, similar to the one your having. Now's the time to decide, is it worth it. Two years is a long time to invest in a relationship then decide I'm tired of this. It aint that simple. COMMUNICATE that's the most important advice i can give. That's part of the reason I'm single now, cuz I didn't do enough of it.

Answer 9

Please understand, that I know how hard this is. .. 12 yrs of it.. knowing there was unrest between us....the adage is 'if you think that its wrong, it probably is...' ya know? Sometimes, following your heart..towards pain, isn't always the right choice. Then there is ' love is blind'...How VERY true. The ages past have produced literature to support the enigmatic and ever varied faces of love. And so, a new perspective is.. if it isn't working for ya... then you have choices to make.

Answer 10

are the reasons you break up small enough that you shouldn't break up at all? stop breaking up if you know you want to be together! once you realize that you're gonna be together, no matter what, then you'll be better off! its also important to have your own identity to keep from getting bored! you don't have to separate, just find things to do to give you time to miss him and vice versa!