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Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,

"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left cheek and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



THE BLONDE JOKE TO END

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

2006-08-17 12:50:26 · 11 answers · asked by ? 1 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

here are some blonde jokes that i got in an e-mail. i know it is mean but i couldn't pass it up! and i am NOT a blonde and i am a brunnett and here ya go!

2006-08-17 12:52:52 · update #1

i know it is not a quiestion just reply if you read them and say if you like them. and they may be lame but i didn't read all of them. so hope you like!

2006-08-17 12:54:10 · update #2

11 answers

Funny!!

2006-08-17 12:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by prettycute4u62040 4 · 3 0

True story: a blonde friend of mine had prepared a batch of date squares before heading out. She followed the mixing and adding instructions to the letter. She turned on the oven to its proper temperature and put the pan with the mixture in. She insisted she could go out for a while and the squares would be fine by the time she got back. The problem was that there was no one else in the house. By the time she did return, her precious date squares were burned to a crisp and the kitchen smelled terrible.

Blonde logic?

2006-08-17 13:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by blooutflash 3 · 0 0

Oh my gosh u got me laughing with the doctor one and the watch dog one OH those jokes are funny do u mind e-mailing them to me to hotpeppa411goodas@yahoo.com

2006-08-17 13:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

very good.

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

2006-08-17 16:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i liked the moon one and the doctor's office one.

2006-08-17 13:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by jenny 6 · 0 0

I liked them :)

2006-08-17 13:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I ESPECIALLY LIKE THE OKIES AND THE WATCHDOGS.

2006-08-17 13:01:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

nice!

no offense taken. (o:

2006-08-17 13:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by Daisy® 5 · 0 0

i like. good job.

2006-08-17 13:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

LOL. These are great. Thanks for the laughs.

Have a great evening!

2006-08-17 14:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0 0

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