Need Serious Adult Advice. 10 Points for Good Advice.?

Question

I have been friends w/ this guy for a few mons. We have spent a lot of time together. The other day he asked me out. I said Yes. One problem though. I have HPV and did not have the nerve to tell him. We haven't had sex, but I want to get it out ASAP. I'm not sure how to bring it up. Any suggestions?

If you don't know what HPV here is here is a link to read about it http://www.healthandhpv.com/

***Good Advice Gets 10 points***

Answer 1

the sooner the better. Just say that you have hpv before the the relationship gets serious. if he doesnt take the news well which unless he's weird it shouldnt bother him THAT much to the point of being angry, just tell him it's really personal and there was no reason for him to know as long u were just friends, but now that things are diffrent he needs to know.

Answer 2

This is going to be a problem for sure. but there is nothing wrong with having HPV. For now, just be friends with him. Being together doesn't has to be about sex. I mean you love this guy, so just keep him as a close friend. Build more into the relationship first, like make a road trip to LA or Disyenland with a group of friends and have fun. As time pass, you can find a job that help people that has HPV. Then you can tell him about the job you are doing and how important it is to help people with HPV. Then in time, you can tell him about yourself having HPV. That should help.

Answer 3

Rest assured this answer is not for the points.I too am a woman living with HPV.I was diagnosed 11 years ago when I was 16.Allthough the doctors say there is no cure for HPV.Let me give you some insight into my dealings with this disease
When I was diagnosed with HPV otherwise known as genital warts.After diagnosis I had 2 years of abnormal paps.My doctor had a wait and see approach to the problem because I never developed wart like lesions.Strangely enough 2 years after the diagnosis I had normal paps showing no indication of the disease.It has been 11 years now and I am disease free.I get tested every year and I am fine.
Now I dont reccommend you not getting treatment for it.Nor do I condone you having sex without not telling him first hun.
Remember!! we where put into the same situation and our partners failed to give us the option of knowing.
My best advice for you is... if you have had treatment for it.Speak up, tell him. Hey I was diagnosed with hpv, I have had it treated and i have been having normal tests for however long it has been.
Because this a new relationship developing .If you choose not to disclose your condition.Condoms are 99 percent effective in preventing sexually transmitted disease.
It is ultimatly your decision sweetie.I have been in your situation and I know it can be tough.
Ill leave you with a quote from shakespear
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day
Good luck.Im rooting for you!!
PS: Make sure you keep up yearly pap reports as HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer in women

Answer 4

Here's the thing. HPV IS a big deal if.....this guy is not going to stay with you for the rest of your life....he is going to have sex with anyone else after having sex with you.

It is true HPV doesn't usually affect men as much as women...but I've seen some pretty graphic photos showing it can.

The worst part of this is CONDOMS DON'T PROTECT you or your partner from HPV.

So if he does move on to someone else he WILL have to tell the rest of his partners that he was exposed to HPV and he might or might not have the virus.

True that millions live with HPV, but the women who are exposed to HPV are at risk for cervical cancer. That isn't something you really want to spread around.

Even if you aren't experiencing an outbreak you could still transmit the virus to your partner.

Currently 3/4 of the American population has this virus. It's time we realized condoms don't protect you from everything and be more careful with our bodies.

It should really be written on the condom packages that even though they are almost a hundred percent effective they can not protect you from HPV.

I'm sure you would have liked to know.

Answer 5

You need to be honest with him and tell him as soon as possible. I am sure he will have many questions for you, and i would answer in the best way possible. I don't believe there is really any easy way to bring this up. I would let him know you have something important to discuss, and go about it the best way you can. I am sure once you tell him, you will feel much better. You might also want to print out some information from the internet so he better understands what HPV is.

Answer 6

HPV isn't that big of a deal. A lot of women have it. Just make sure it's not in the 2nd or 3rd stage. If you two are only in this for sex, let him know up front. He might respect you more. But HPV doesn't do anything to a guy. It just affects the girl.

Answer 7

I also have hpv and happily married with 2 children. Hpv is more common than you think....75% percent of people have it but there are no symptoms...it is a disease that will remain with you the rest of your life....it can go dormant though. if it doesn't then it poses a problem and can lead to cancer which is what i am close to. i have precancerous cells that were just frozen...because my immune system cant fight the hpv. I would just be honest with him. If he really cares for you he will understand. They aren't sure if protection works against hpv...so it would be wise just to tell him. and tell him how common it is. Please whatever you do follow up at your doctors...you really have to monitor this! i wish you the best of luck!! :)

Answer 8

Unfortunetly I don't think there is going to be any easy way to bring it up but maybe asking him like in a thrid person kind of question. As him what did he think about HPV. Thing is with that question he may say something negitive that may not help you come out in the open with him. Many times people are afraid of what they don't know.

Answer 9

My dear thats a bold step for coming out to talk about it here.

It would a lot better and bolder, if you confront your fears and tell him. Does this guy really love you, if he does then tell him.
And since it is a treatable virus, when you get treated and cured you could go on with your life and you'll still be that same person he saw in you before he decided to go out with you.

Just stand up to your fears dear, and you know what, if he leaves you after telling him, I can assure, once you get treated, you'll have the courage to go out with anyone and be free of any guilt or fear.

So go ahead and tell him cos it lifts the burden off your mind and gives you the rest of mind that made you come to ask this question in the first place.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

I would like to know before any sex occurred. Use your best judgement as to when. If it is after midnight, and he's staying for drinks, well...right about then. You'll know. Trust your instincts.

Best case scenario, he wants to continue to see you. Second would be, he makes an escape... better off without him. Third would be, he smiles, says "I already have *** disease so no problem"

This is a good measure for the relationship. Keep in mind that this fish might need to be thrown back in the lake...so don't over-worry.