Is this a stage or is this the end?

Question

I need some advice. I've been dating this guy since Febuary, and we've already said that we want to get married. the last month or so we've been fighting, but then we'd make up. We don't go out on dates anymore, but sometimes we go out with friends. Latley we've been so busy and haven't had time to talk to each other beacuse of work and such, and for a few weeks we've been questioning what to do next. Is this just a stage in a relationship that you go through, or is this the end? I love him, he loves me, but our relationship is dead. Also, all in the same week or so, three of my ex's have called me up saying that they would like to hang out again and be friends. UGH! I'm so confused. I don't know what to do, yet I feel there is one choice left. I want to transfer to a college in Boston, but my boyfriend doesn't want to move. We've just been drifting apart. What do you think I should do? I'm at my last resort and I need help asap. thanks for reading this long thing!

Answer 1

Sounds like you may be drifting apart. It is a normal thing that happens in relationships when the initial fuzzy feeling starts to wear off. You can try to talk things over with eachother but by the sounds of it things are kind of over for you guys anyways. Good Luck

Answer 2

It sounds like it's a stage with you guys...you have been dating for 6 months or so and you have come VERY comfortable in the relationship with one another. It takes work to keep things new and fresh and spicy! My boyfriend who plan to get married as well, set dates with one another, may sound funny to some, but we are both busy, and we designate one night a week where just the two of us go out to dinner, eat popcorn afterwards or get a divine dessert. We still give eachother cards every now and then, leave notes for that person, send a cute text message during the day just to say "i love you". we celebrate each month we are together, no need to wait for a year! if you are able to, call in sick to work, and surprise him at work, leave a note on his car, cook him dinner and be wearing something sexy when he gets home. You both need to FIND the time to talk to one another bout your feelings. Let him know you feel like you guys are drifting apart since you've both been so busy, that you want to get that reconnected feeling again.

If you want to move to boston to go to college, do not let him stand in your way, you will regret it. My boyfriend has the opportunity to move up in the company quicker by taking an out of state position, he asked if i'd move with him and I told him yes...hopefully you'll find the same support in him. But all in all I would talk to him to see how he feels. And it really boils down to you doing what you want, you can take all the advice in the world, but you're gonna do what you want. Good luck =o)

Answer 3

It's a difficult decision, but, as a rule of thumb, if you're actually thinking of breaking-up at all, then something is wrong. The fact that you are fighting lately highlights the fact that you may have grown apart, especially since you've stated "our relationship is dead." I suggest you sit down and discuss if there's a future for the two of you. If you come to a decision that there isn't, then at least you know you gave it a shot. As much as you say you "love" this guy, the fact that you wonder whether to break-off and hang out with other boys is questionable. You need to literally decide what you want together, because otherwise you'll be trapped in a relationship that is, as you said, "dead." At least if you decide to break it off, you can do it respectfully and you can even stay friends.

Answer 4

ive been in the same situation, and recently got out of it too. i have to say it is a little soon to have been talking about a life long commitment to each other. drifting apart happens, its common in all relationships the more time you spend with each other and then all of a sudden there's nothing new to spark the interest in the relationship so you also fight more cause now you know each others pet peaves and you know exactly what you dont like about the other. nik picking. try to talk more, make time for each other and make plans to go out. and make sure you stick to it. no bullshit or changing plans and what not. honestly, hun, if your thinking its time to go then go. college is important, i wouldnt let a man stand in the way of letting a good thing happen. he probably has things he wants to do as well which wont agree with you ... just think that theres two sides to every story. again i recamend talking more. it helps.

Answer 5

You must set aside time for just you and your partner. If love has gone try going to a hotel for the night just you 2 and turn off all phones and doing something special for your selves.This is just a fase that all couples go through it only gets harder for the first few years were you learn more about each other. Fighting is just part of the process of getting to know each other and where you stand in the realation ship but if you walk away when things get tuff your not giving it a chance.As for the exs if things are hard right know in your realtionship dont go too the EXs as all that does is ad amunition to your partners fears which we all have. Tell them to wait untill your sort out your realationship first.

Answer 6

I'm going through the same exact thing, except hes the one spending lots of time with his ex =\. Hopefully its just a stage and will pass, if you talked about marriage yous both obviously love eachother a great deal. Give it time, don't give up just yet, and possibly avoid the ex, he probably wont help the situation. If you want to transfer to a college here(in boston) then go for it, if thats what you really want he should support your decision. Good Luck

Answer 7

It sounds like the relationship moved really fast. Like you went through all of the motions in such a short period of time and now there really is nothing exciting left. Love is not something that just goes away, you can love a person but that does not mean that they are the one for you. If you are feeling like you want to transfer, then you are feeling like you need out or a break, Even if he doesn't want for you to go, you need to do whats best for you. trust me, you DON'T want to marry someone for the wrong reason, its harder to get out later.

Answer 8

I think it is the end becuz if you don't have communication the relationship is through. Also if you feel that u should go to college in Boston go for it its ur dream and what u want to become. If he doesnt feel that u should go then u should leave, and if you only met him in february and your fighting now, you should move on you'll find someone betta. That's my advice. That is not a stage.

Answer 9

SInce you are asking the question, then that tells me that you are not 100% certain of your feelings for him, or his for you. I would not reccommend marriage.....

It could go either way. What do you want, and what are you willing to do to acheive it?

You have already worn off the initial infatuation and now you are left wondering why you are together. You have lost motivation to aactively pursue each other and inspire each other to feel loved and appreciated.......you no longer inspire eaach other to feel "picked out" over all others, and like #1......
Now your exboyfriends are looking better because they couldn't find anyone else to put up with their crap so not they're back and trying to get you back again.....you have their attention and it feels good because you are not getting anough right now from your man...
You can either think about, figure out, and ask for what you need to feel like #!, and specifically tell him what it would take.....and find out from him the same......this would be a way to preserve the relationship....
Or you could move on and use your newfound wisdom that you have to actively keep doing what it takes to inspire your partner to feel like your #!.....that your mere presence alone doesn't do it for them......
FIx it or forget it. Be willing to give to him what you want for yourself (from him).
Why do you want to transfer to Boston? Would he have opportunity there or have to give up something he has going on here? Don't expect him to orbit you......

Answer 10

Sounds like even your not sure about commitment when you say your confused about the temptation of past BF's.

Also your in college you need to graduate college before you get pregnant in college from your possible hubby.

I understand your a young adult in love but as an adult you need to think things out and how your choices will impact your life.

Signed Tim