2006-08-17 12:08:36 · 34 answers · asked by noname 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
hahaha, hilarious.
EDIT:
wow, these people actually think your serious? Didn't anyone else pick up on the heavy sarcasm he was shoveling on this obvious sic humored joke? Gosh people, take a joke.
2006-08-17 12:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by charmito 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your best bet is a one-way shake. It's a two step process.
Step 1 Hold the infant near to you, then place him into the crib. It's a very slow, graceful shake, almost an art form, so take care to do it well.
Step 2 Dial 911, tell the operator you are very near to killing the infant for crying, and that you wish to voluntarily surrender the child until you can get into some parenting and anger management education.
You should stop hearing the crying in 5 minutes or so. Saves everybody a lot of time, money, and heartache.
2006-08-17 12:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Gen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! It is NEVER appropriate to shake an infant for any reason. I have no doubt this is simply a foolish question, but for the benefit of anyone who is not aware, shaken-baby syndrome is very serious and can cause serious and irreparable damage or even kill an infant. Shaking a baby can cause blindness, mental illness, and at the very least concussion to the brain.
Please, do not shake you child! Not even as a joke.
2006-08-17 12:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by L A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better be joking, cuz I'd kill anyone who'd ever talked about shaking a baby. I'm a new mother, so I'm especially sensitive and catious about who I have around my baby. DON'T EVER SHAKE A BABY! It'll kill them. I mean, think about it, if you were a baby, would you want someone to shake you to death. If you have trouble putting the baby to sleep, just stay calm and breathe. Don't shake, but slowly and gently rock the baby to sleep. I promise that the baby will stop crying. If crying persists, then check to see if the baby is hungry, wet, or just wants attention. Also consider that the baby may have colic. Colic can last for a while, at least about two months, so talk to your baby's doctor about colic and what you should do to calm your baby down. Your baby may also be constipated. Just give your baby a warm sponge bath, and a bottle, and the baby will sleep like it's supposed to, like a baby.
2006-08-17 15:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shaking the baby is not a good solution. Rock the baby gently by laying him / her on your shoulder. Bob her up and down on your shoulder by sinking your hips up and down using your knees. Try to hum softly as you do this and also sing a soft lullaby. Draw down the shades and make it dark and comfy. Switch off the lights with some light remaining indirectly. This helps the baby to relax. Loud sounds, glaring light and a wet diaper, is not ideal. A full stomach may also need to be burped. Good luck and hope it works out.
2006-08-17 12:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by ilovegr8food 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok...I'm going to be naive and give you the benefit of the doubt. If you are referring to ROCKING the baby...then it depends on the baby. Some prefer to be rocked from side to side, and some prefer front to back. It's a trial and error thing...find out what works best for your baby.
2006-08-17 12:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you out of your mind? or just too tired to know what you wrote!?
My son was colicy and my now ex husband was too scared to help. Check to make sure its nothing he needs, food, changing, something hurting, needing to burp. The only thing that made my son feel better was when grandma came over. Take a car ride. If nothing works, go to the ER, there might be something really wrong.
good luck
2006-08-17 12:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by princesspms 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haven't you ever heard of SHAKEN BABY SYNDROM?!? You can seriously damage a baby's brain doing either of those!!! Besides which, shaking a baby is NOT going to make him stop crying!
I really hope this question is a joke, but if it is, it's pretty crude.
2006-08-17 12:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by mathgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who say stuff like this are idiots, the fact they they find humor in child abuse and think thats something that kills many infants is funny just shows what a sick person they are. I would sure hope this person is sterile!
2006-08-17 13:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by wendyb204 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when u wont stop asking stupid questions is it better to shake u from side to side or front to back. maturity lesson # 1 :grow up..maturity lesson # 2 : get a life
2006-08-17 12:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by i will be your friend! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER NEVER NERVER shake a baby! it can cuase brain damage!
If you going crazy put the baby in a safe place suck as a crib and walk away for five min, untill you regain your wits or call for help.
2006-08-17 12:14:25 · answer #11 · answered by paganrosemama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋