Need Christian advice for marriage problems!?

Question

I don't know what to do. My husband and I have been married for about 2 years now and my sexual drive is completely lacking! I don't know why and it has nothing to do with him. I'm not thinking about anyone else nor am I doing anything wrong. I've prayed about this issue and its making problems in our marriage with sexuality. What should I do?

Answer 1

It could be changes in your hormones. Have yourself checked out by your doctor and share this problem with your husband. You can even bring your husband with you so you can seek out help for this together. This will keep you both strong as long as the both of you are handling it as a couple and not keeping the problem to yourself.. i will pray for you.

Father,
I lift up this couple to you for your healing touch to be placed upon this wife. Please help her and allow her to enjoy the pleasures that you intended her and her husband to share with each other. Fill both of their hearts with the peace and contentment that can only come from you. I thank you for a new beginning for the both of these people. In the precious name of Jesus, amen

Answer 2

Sounds more like a medical problem - either physical or psychological and it's not uncommon, so don't stress over it. Hormones can fluctuate and put things out of balance.

Also, as Christians, make sure the soul is fully on Christ and filled with Christ and thank him for the relationship he has given you together, we don't often thank Christ for the sexual relationship we have, but we should, and as you continue to long after the filling of Christ in your soul it will push out the things that are hindering the needs that are seemingly unmet in the marriage.

Also, www.family.org has great resources for these very issues and is worth checking into, and if you can't afford the resources, then when you go to check out put a 0 in the donation or total line, and you'll still receive the materials.

Better to have the open communication and solve the problem now than to continue to let it build.

Answer 3

You are normal. While the world is always talking about "women's sex drives," it is a myth and a woman does not have the same sort of feelings that a man does unless she has become masculine, altered in some way or perhaps has consumed a lot of alcohol. Many men don't want to believe that, but they're not very bright.

For a woman it has mostly to do with having children and accommodating the need of your husband because you love him. If you feel that you don't want to be near him and have sex at all, then it could be another problem, but otherwise what I've sadi is correct.

Answer 4

Two great sources who deal with issues such as this and both have radio call-in shows, sell books and have a Christian-like perspective.

www.drlaura.com
www.fhu.com

Dr Laura would ask you how long you expect to keep that job if you're not doing it, and remind you how delicious it used to be.

Roy Masters would home in on resentment, either toward husband, situation, or childhood.

I suspect Dr Laura would perscribe jumping husband as he comes in the door every day for a week. Roy would offer a free mental exercise which has a homeopathic effect of bringing to the surface past wrong reactions to stress so you can see them in a new light and then they're gone and you are whole.

I suppose you have considered that probably your husband is being destroyed by your emotional problems? Us guys take these things very seriously.

Answer 5

You don't have to be a christian (as such) to answer this question. You are young and are not used to the rigours of marraige (obviously) and have taken a very serious step in which your decisions affect some-one else life. This can be a scary thing in one so young. Try self meditation and lots of excercise. Pick up your diet and be patient with yourself. Ask your husband for patience also and this to will pass. Don't push yourself or it will get worse. If he is unwilling to wait and help you through this, then his chritianity is out the window. Do not judge yourself or your marraige on this one little hiccup. He will go through it, also at some stage and then how will you handle it? "Love thyself" and it will make for a stronger person and better christian.

Answer 6

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a woman not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. My dear, you and your husband must turn that fire again, but he has to understand that you married for the long run, you have a long life in from of you and sex is not all in the matrimony. I don't know if hi is loving or romantic. I'm Latin from Puerto Rico and for us to keep our passion we leave love notes on the pillow, called during the day as when we were going out and you still going out, it hasn't change. Some times no sex is good, some times to watch TV without thinking that at the end of the movie or show you have to perform. The love making is not a job nor part of the daily routing. Sit down and talk about your feelings. Be happy and loving as you used to be. Love you and good luck.

Answer 7

well, you need to (and he needs to) realize that he married you cause he loves you, with or without sex, right?.

You could see a counselor/psychologist and see if they can come up with any reason. .

Also, I think that you should participate in your wifely duties even if you don't have the desire (at least occasionally), since that's part of what is expected in marriage. At some point soon, perhaps you can figure out why you have a lack of desire and it will all be good. . .

Answer 8

well like how you are a christian you should seek council from your elder in the church or any mature christian there. Maybe you are working too hard in have sex rather than let the moment present itself. Try going out and spending a weekend at a hotel or go to the beach, take time for just the both of you. Do not rush anything ok. Continue preying too.

Answer 9

can I say this

first marriage problem

your 20 and your married. You dont even know what a sex drive is at 20 much less what you will or wont do eventually. Then you will trun 26 and everything will change this is why i want to undersatnd I would never do a woman so young that way. Tie her down give her a kid at 20 thats just wrong

my opinion

Answer 10

You are one flesh.

Therefore the rest of your body (your husband) must be let in on the problem.

Simply enough, communicate, talk to each other.

You may find that its not about the actual sex, but about what goes on in your everyday life.

Women need to be romanced, not just with poems, flowers, notes, and dinners out. They need to be romanced by a soft touch that does not lead directly to the bedroom. They need to be romanced by soft spoken words. They need to be romanced by a special deed done just for them, meaning helping with a chore that is yours alone, but he just did it for you without asking or being told.

These things soften a womans heart and prepares her to submit to her husbands desires.

Your husband will not automatically understand these things. He is hardwired, all he needs to do is see you naked, or imagine you naked.

You do not understand how your husband could be aroused with seemingly no romance.

We are different, and we must learn these differenced and accomodate them within our marriages.

I know that even knowing all this stuff, I am still utterly amazed that after an argument or a mean word said between us, my husband can still be "in the mood" for sex.

Lastly and most importantly, After you have communicated (talked ) take time out to pray together as a married one flesh couple, for understanding of each others thoughts and minds.