I am 19 and 4 months pregnant with my boyfriend child. I lived with him for 6 months. Before i got pregnant I would go with him just about every where. Now that I am pregnant it is his excuse to not bring me anywhere when I mena anywhere I mean anywhere. He will go to work around 5:30 a.m. get off at 3 or 3:30 then go straight out with his friends no phonecall or nothing. We lived with his parents on the Southside of chicago and if you know Chicago he could be doing anything intill 4 in them moring. I was always uncomfortable with them due to the cultural diffrence and I definetly don't get along with his sister which is his love and blah blah. So I would spend pretty much 18 hours of my day in a room. Sleeping to make the time go bye. What a life? It was never like that intill now. Just recently like 3 days ago. We moved to a little town about an 1 and half away from the city to live with my parents. He walks around all miserable and ****, but at least he socialzes and gets along quite well with everyone. he seems content. But today he was like well I have to go to chicago. So he is spending 4 days there. FOR WHAT. I really think he is cheating. He disappers all night in chicago. One night he didn't come home. Now we move and have only been here for like 3 days and he wants to go back to be there for 4 days. I ask him if you want me to come with you and he says no. He didn't even say goodbye when he got on the train. He always is telling me I am gross. I need to comb my hair, where skirts and ****. But **** man I am PREGNANT I do comb my hair. I am just so confused. I wanna try to make it work and trust him for my baby. But **** I know I will not sleep for the 4 days he is gone because I will be worrying about what he is doing.
2006-08-17 11:37:08 · 10 answers · asked by expecting_1_31_2007 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
sorry to say this honey, but if he's acting like an immature @sshole now, what makes you think that you're going to be able to depend on him once the baby's born? Your hunches about him cheating are probably right on the money. It's hard to hear, but it is probably true. I am sorry to say that. Your best bet is to probably stay with your parents until you are able to care for this baby on your own. I don't know what you are planning for your future (whether you are wanting to go to school, or whatever), but it might be a good idea to decide what you want your life (and your child's life) to look like for the next 18 years. Don't think of JUST the "here-and-now," you have to think about what things are going to be like in the near future. I wish you and your baby the VERY BEST, and get rid of that good-for-nothing boyfriend of yours. He's only going to bring you heartache.
If you feel like you can't do this on your own and you want to have him around (for whatever reason), stand strong. tell him that you are quite capable of raisning your baby on your own (no help required). Let him know that he needs to make a decision regarding your life together. If he chooses to move on (because you gave him a choice) at least you'll know sooner than later. If your strong-willed speech helps him realize that he's got something real special with you and he wises up (to being a good father to his baby - -meaning he NEEDS to start supporting you emotionally A LOT MORE), then good for the both of you. I know when I gave my (then boyfriend, now) husband that speech, it turned his *** right around and straightened him out. I'm glad that we are together and I love him very deeply, as I know that he loves me.
Whatever you decide you are going to do, I wish you and your loved ones the very best
Good luck and God Bless you.
Lori
2006-08-17 11:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he is up to something. Do you have any idea where he is in Chicago? Do you think he could be staying with a friend or family maybe? Some where, where you could go spy on him. My ex cheated on me and I wish I could of caught him in the act. Truly catch him. Also you could take this time to snoop around his belongings. Who knows he could of forgotten to take something out of his pockets or something....snoop snoop. A women's gut feeling is normally right when things are off. But seriously if you don't find anything you need to have a serious talk with this guy! He needs to grow up.
You also need to ask yourself are you prepared for you what you can find out? Are you prepared to be a single mom? If not have you thought about adoption? I'm a single mom and it's hard work. Doesn't sound like you have your feet on the ground to much either with living at home and all. Thinking about your options. You have to think about some else now....your little boy or girl!
2006-08-17 18:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by browneyegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is way too immature to be any kind of father, let alone boyfriend.
I think you should consider that you will probably do this on your own. Either give the baby up for adoption or get reasdy to be a single mom and nail his butt NOW for child support through the courts.
I'm so sorry you had to find out his character this way...
2006-08-17 18:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this might not work out with his attitude. Just be ready to be on your own, he doesn't sound interested in being part of you relationship anymore and maybe he's just trying for the baby. You have a better chance to work things out if you talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel but without yelling and fighting.
2006-08-17 18:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by Eve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is going on with him for sure! You two need to talk and find out what his plans are.Your pregnant and are going to need him a lot more in days to come.I feel for you.Sweetie weight your options with everything including your pregnancy.Dont waste your time or energy on something that is not worth it!
2006-08-17 18:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always easier said then done, and you've had to walk with those shoes to answer this question. My advice to you is please don't put up with this behavior it only gets worse, trust me. I went to something similar and it took two kids and ten years for me to walk away and the ones that really suffer are the kids. So don't allow for him to mistreat you in any way, for one you are having his child and he should be kissing the ground you walk on, I know it hurts, try to socialize with friends and try to keep happy for your baby's sake.
2006-08-17 21:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by nutty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its up to you to make the changes in your life if you want it to be better make it better just because he got you preg dosent mean you have to stay with the asshole theres lots of guys out there who would love to be your babys daddy even when there really not so get out make something or your self dont have to be there and making your self so so sad
2006-08-17 19:16:48 · answer #7 · answered by mittens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl- sounds like to me he is ******* around on you. You need to kick him out if he is going to act like this. I know you love him but his feelings are not mutual it seems like. Cuz if he felt the same he would be there helping you. (thats why its better to be married and have babies)
2006-08-17 18:47:14 · answer #8 · answered by th1gurl23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since you seem to love him and tolerate his actions why not just shut it and let him do what he wants? you stay home afterall and just sulk in your own sorrows instead of going out and worring about knucklehead.
2006-08-17 19:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by MR. duckduckduckduckgoose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish and immature. You need to be strong for you and your baby.
2006-08-17 18:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by honeyluv_2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋