How would you respond to the following scenario?

Question

You are (whatever religion you are) and so is the person you're married to. You are very much so (whatever religion you are) and one day, your child comes to you and says to you and your spouse, "I am (religion opposite to your religion)." How would you respond?

For Christians, Atheist or Pagan
For Atheists, Christian or Islamic or Scientology
For Pagans, Christian
For Jews, Islamic
For Islamic, Jewish or Christian

Please remember, though, for this scenario, you're a strong follower of your religion.

... I don't have one for the Buddhists or Hindus or Agnostics or Scientologists. Pagan is being used in this sense as a worshiper of nature or a person who believes in more than one God/Goddess.

PLEASE DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE MATCHUPS!

People seem confused with this.

I'm a 16 year old Pagan. No kids. :) I was just asking a mature question. Not a problem, I hope?

Answer 1

As this answer is second-page material, I'm sure it won't mean much after the 30 previous responses, but heck, what's wrong with one harmless exercise in futility?

Alright... my son, at some future date (because if he came up to me now at 1 year old and started communicating coherently about ANYTHING, I think all the capilaries in my body would explode), comes up to me and says "Mommy, I'm Christian slash Islamic slash Scientologist."

I'd say "Ok, kiddo, sit down and tell me all about it. Tell me how you came to this decision, explain to me your new belief system and about your deity, etc...".

My husband and I, since we figured out we were gunna have ourselves a mini-us, had agreed to let him make his own spiritual decisions. If he asks us what we believe or asks us what and/or why other people believe, we'll do our best to objectively explain or, in the event that we have absolutely no friggen idea, point him towards some credible, helpful information with which he can enlighten himself.

Of course, we'd let him know that as much as we want to give him all the freedoms we possibly can, it's simply not within our or anyone elses power to allow illegal activities. We would also enforce house rules, so if his religion dictates that he, oh, sacrifice 7 animals in the bathtub and smear mashed potatoes all over the kitchen, we'll have to put our collective foot down. He's entitled to his beliefs but we're also entitled to preserving our property.

Speaking of that to which we are entitled, we'd be clear that just as much as he is entitled to whatever spirituality he prefers, we are entitled to our personal points of view. If he can't accept ours and if we have trouble accepting his, we'll both have to default to tolerance. Civil disagreement is better for everyone.

I'm going to love him if he's gay, straight, pagan, Hindu, Republican, Communist, Vegan, carbcounter, posh, punk, artistic, mathmatical, etc etc etc. If he murders people or mutilates animals, defrauds a major corporation, you get the idea, THEN we'll have issues, but most likely we'll still love him.

And... now I feel I've overshared. Apologies! Don't thwap me, please!!!

Answer 2

I am a baptized believer in God(christian if you must) and so is my real life husband. My x husband is an atheist(raised baptist) and our children are good students and well liked through out the community. But I will not let them be baptized until they are grown and come to the decision on their own. My best friend of 22 years is a lesbian and her sister is pagan like your self description. I think everyone should take their life choices very seriously. When and if they can form an educated reasoning to their personal belief structure/life choices I will respect and back them up. My thinking is this, just because I do something(good or bad) that dose not mean that MY children have the right to coast on my faith. Hollow empty hearts lead to people acting badly in the name of something the really don't understand. The reason humans believe(or don't) comes from inside and should give you peace love and happiness. I don't know if my real life story will help you. But if you run into someone who claims to be one thing and acts the wrong way for the belief structure they have chosen then, Honey, it's not a people it's a sheep-le. love from Kansas.

Answer 3

Respect their choice....

Have a Family discussion about what each one of you thinks about the role play of religion in life....
Don't try tp pursaude that you are right, just state your case respectively. You all may teach each other something new.

Understand that your child is not our own sculpture, but an individual gifted to you raise... not impress. Children go through so much.... God only knows what they will be into next week. The bigger deal you make of something, the larger the battle ground becomes.... War means a division, Families should not do this... I didn't say they don't but in the end, all everyone lost is ususally time and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

Show love, show acceptance, show that you respect....
And you will find that you get it back.
Be involved parent though, you set the boundaries but do be sure to let them learn, that is life.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I was raised Lutheran by a very Lutheran mother and a father who at one time was in a monastery studying the priesthood. I have studied about 50 different religions before I found the one I believe and follow, that is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My sister has been baptized into four different churches, Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist, and Methodist. Her husband became a Baptist preacher and then became Methodist preacher. To answer the question: I would be disappointed if my child left the Church but I believe they have the free agency to practice the church or religion they choose.

Answer 5

For Christians: The reaction varies from acceptance to disownment.
For atheists, the reaction is usually disagreement...and a descision to agree to disagree.
For Pagan, it's usually a shrug of the shoulders. Plus occassional arguments during the holidays.
For Jews, it would be an expression of amazement, accompanied by the varied respons that Christians might have.
For Muslims...it depends on the country. The reactions are as varied as anyone else...except that some countries have death panalties.

Answer 6

First, show them the chart that you will find on my Yahoo 360 page, and remind them of how little time we have to govern their lives, compared to the 60+ year where they can do what they want. If they truly believe they should belong to this other religion, or no religion at all, it can wait until the are of age AND out on their own. Growing up in the JWs, we did see as much of this, since teenagers are not treated with such disrespect for their ability to learn that you find in other religions. By the time they have reached your age, they have received the equal of a Bible College education in any other religion. They know how to research answers, in materials from all other religions, including the use of ancient Greek, as well as JW materials. Also, they are often already baptized, legal ministers. Granted, there is always the rebellious one who simply refuses to participate, but they have been refusing from the time they reached the age of understanding, so they never grasped the teaching, because they wanted to freedoms of the woraldly types. Generally, JW families are active as a whole, in all aspects of the religion, with no elitists saying they are above others. Oncethey have come of age, they can do asthe wish, but they understand the drawbacks, such as losing all the friendship developed with other teenagers, not only in their congregation, but in 100 other congregations, whom they have networked with at the bi-annual circuit (10 congregations) assemblies, and the annual district (10 circuits) assemblies.

Answer 7

You would respect the child's decision and give them the lattitude to explore whatever venue leads him to God. In fact, I would offer to take the child to various other meetings and discuss or debate how each one varies and hope he would come away educated enough to make a good choice. I think everyone should explore the religions outside their own so that they can understand someone else's point of view and perhaps be a little more tolerant that most of society today. I would hope I could lead my child back to my faith but in the end we are all responsible for our own belief system and we all have to answer to God for our choices. You cannot make someone believe the same things you believe no matter how fervently you wish it so.

Answer 8

wow, great question!!

gee... well, usually when a person is a STRONG follower of their religion, they're not really openminded and are actually quite judgemental so honestly, i'd probably try to make them feel bad about their decision or try to convert them... sounds terrible but given the scenario, this is an honest answer. as much as i'd try to be supportive my closed mindedness would likely prevent this

Answer 9

This has actually happened to me. At the end of the day, I have to accept that the faith I raised my son in is not what he chooses to practise, now that he's old enough to make his own choices. Given a magic wand, I would have him embrace the faith, but if his own life experience leads him another way, I don't know how I can change that. I have to respect his wishes.

Answer 10

I don't know what I would do, not being old enough to marry, let alone have kids.

But I would ask him to

a> Do what he wants to once he is 18

b> Till then read up his religion and make sure he doesn't end up jumping from tussock to tussock on a marsh on a foggy day. ( Oops! Dracula is hardly the book I should be quoting here!)

c> Kindly avoid doing all the mumbo jumbo openly in the house, or express his faith too loudly, as in shouting " Jesus I love you" every morning, orasking his mother to give him this day his daily bread. And I am not allowing him to get circumcised till he is 18 (if he is turning muslim or jew)

It is not as if I don't like christians or anything, but I really hate people wearing their religion on their sleeves.

d> Not hate the rest of us or try to convert us/ redeem us from darkness. I dislike people trying to do that to me, having had to study , as I have in a christian missionary run school. Not that I had any choice there. It was the best school where i had to spend 5 years of my life.

e> Still participate with us when we celebrate our festivals ( Not that he would have to be coaxed into doing that. Who would hate playing with firecrackers on Diwali, or Colours on Holi?)

PS- We usually eat mutton on Bakrid, and my mom bakesa caken Christmas, but that's cos not knowing his exact birth date, Dad celebrates his birthday on 25th dec.

PPS_ I m hindu, pagan as hell, according to Christian/Jewish/Muslim lexicon.

PPPS- The ideal test of my tolerance would be, formefora childto turn Muslim, although I don't know what I'll do if he tries to turn Scientologician, or whatever they call themselves. Tom Cruise is a dick.