Could you please tell me a hilarious joke?

Question

I need a good laugh. Thanks.

Answer 1

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Indian Mating Season

Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied "No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Woo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

Like the others, he then heard an answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!"
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

(Get ready, this will kill ya),





NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN

Answer 3

One day the pope was on tour in the US. As he was being driven in his limo he got the urge to be adventurous. So he asked his driver to pull over cuz he felt like driving a little. The driver quickly obliged and let the pope drive while he sat in the back seat. The pope was feeling especially adventerous that day so he floored it! 100kmh, 150kmh, 200kmh! Suddenly sirens could be heard in the background as the pope was pulled over by an officer of the law. The officer tapped on the driver window and took a close look. Then walked back to his squad car and radioed in for help: "Sorry to bother you cheif. I got a problem. I just pulled over someone REALLY important. Not sure what to do? Can you help?" So his chief asked him: "Well who is it? A CEO, a movie star, THE PRESIDENT?" So the cop says: "Well, I am not sure who HE is but... the Pope is his driver!"

Answer 4

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Anderson Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency,we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was rather impressed.

The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?"

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Answer 5

Trust Yahoo

Answer 6

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street, and you pick her up there?"

Answer 7

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that for 2 people who were
nearly 100 years old, having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even; nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Answer 8

These 3 guys, a minister, a priest and a rabbi, walk into a bar,... The bartender says, "what is this,.. some kind of joke?"

Answer 9

Need a good laugh???
how about this:
CHECK YOUR E-mails ..I have just sent you a Happy Birthday message in advance of the 26th of August...lol and I don.t even know you...ha! ha! ha!

Answer 10

If u know how Kurt Cobain died, this is hysterical:

http://www.amiright.com/jokes/cobainkurt.shtml

If u don't think that's funny just go to Am I Right dot com and look for jokes

Answer 11

A blond and a redhead walk past a florist's shop. The redhead glances in and says, "Oh, no. My boyfriend is buying me flowers again."

"Don't you like getting flowers?", asked the blond.

"Well, yeah," replied the redhead, "but I'm not in the mood to spend the next three days with my legs up in the air."

"What? Don't you have a vase??" asks the blond.