At my daughters wedding she has included in the reception a part where she is playing songs for her dad and his new wife (to dance) and the grooms parents also to dance. She has asked me "her mom" for my husbands and I's song. I am not really excited about going to the reception now. I feel its her day and should leave us all out of that kind of stuff. And besides we all do not get a long.
Am I wrong?
2006-08-17 10:28:16 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why don't you suggest one song for all "parents" dance, instead of every couple having a separate song. That way she gets to set time for you all, but it will only be 5 minutes instead of 15 minutes. (Most guests would probably find this 15 minutes a great time to find a drink or chat since it doesn't directly involve bride and groom.
2006-08-17 12:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong, and there are easy ways to overcome it.
First, point out that a lot of guests really hate sitting around watching all these people dancing. Its rather boring for them. They can handle the first dance, the dad/daughter dance, and a mother/son dance, but after that its really pushing it.
Then, suggest the anniversay dance. In this dance, all married couples get up and dance. It honors marriage in general and quite a few guests will be dancing so they won't be as bored. Usually, this dance is done as a countdown, where the dj says "if you've been married less than 10 years, get off the dance floor" until there is only one couple left; the one that's been married the longest.
After that, if she really wants to honor the families in some way, suggest that she include a special note of thanks in the wedding program. Guests enjoy having interesting things to read in the program, and she can make it as sentimental or as straightforward as she likes.
2006-08-18 15:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are going to be three different parents-only dances? What, in addition to the couple's first dance, and the mother-son, father-daughter dances? That's SIX songs that the guests have to sit and stare at the wall through, instead of participating with? How extremely boring.
Tell her that in the first place, you're uncomfortable doing a parents' dance, and second of all, if there is going to be a parents' dance that all 3 sets of parents/stepparents should be up on the floor for the same song, to keep from boring the guests to pieces!
2006-08-17 23:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is truly not about any of the people you mentioned--including yourself. It's not your day. It is all about the newlyweds. They have chosen to have these dances to HONOR the parents. It was not their choice for all of you to have divorces and new spouses and issues and messes due to all of the above.
You could ask her if she could pick a second song for her and future hubby to dance to right after their first dance and maybe halfway thru the song they could have their DJ or MC person invite all of the parents out to join them in the dance. All of the other parent types you mentioned probably didn't want to do it initially either but they have agreed.
So the bottom line is if she has her heart set on having you all dance then get out there and have a good time!!
2006-08-17 18:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by chaimail04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your daughter's day and you should dance with your husband for her. You say you all do not get along but remember within a few years you all could become grandparents. Perhaps you could use this as an opportunity to put the past in the past and start over. You truly do not know how difficult it makes it for your children when it is hard to have her own parents in the same room. I understand you have your reasons for disliking your ex but you both have moved on and have remarried. Rejoice in your new marriages and support your daughter's marriage and new life.
Good luck!
2006-08-17 19:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage didn't work out as happily as it should have, and I'm sorry. I bet you are still bitter at her father.
However, this is one day. It won't even be 24 hours. This is your daughter's BIG DAY to do everything the way she's always dreamed it. My mother-in-law made her parents and in-laws wear matching outfits.
For your daughter's sake can you find it in your heart to grit your teeth and bear it? If you really don't want to do it, talk to her. Be honest with her about how you feel, but don't be demanding.
2006-08-17 18:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't wrong.
But you already said " this her day", so if she wants her family to dance, I suggest you chose a song to dance to with your husband.
Whether you get along with your ex & his wife, is now not the issue. Check your hostility, resentments & hurt at the door. The day will be emotional enough. Same goes for your ex.
2006-08-17 17:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by weddrev 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes...if thats what she wants on "her day" give it to her. My parents are divorced and remarried too and it made the planning really hard on me...So if you daughter asked for something on her wedding day, I think you should do it. It might really hurt her feelings if you don't!
2006-08-17 18:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your feeling are correct and ettiquette wise this is seen in bad taste to but several people who don't like each other in this situation your best idea is to tell your daughter how you feel.
2006-08-17 22:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geeze! I'll go with you to your daughters wedding with your x in-laws if you come to my son and those idiots I call x-outlaws. I am real close to my son and I will do it for him...I'm not liking it but for him, I will do it. Grin and bear it! Wedding is June 02, 07....keep in touch :^D
2006-08-17 17:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by All 4 JR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋