MY SON IS 16MONTHS OLD, AND ALWAYS AROUND ME, OR MY MOM. I RECENTLY STARTED BACK AT WORK, AFTER BEING ON MATERNITY LEAVE, HE IS NOW GOING TO A DAYCARE, AND SCREAMS WHEN I DROP HIM OFF, AND THE WHOLE TIME TIL I PICK HIM UP. DO YOU THINK THE DAYCARE PROVIDER IS MEAN TO HIM, OR IS IT BECAUSE HE IS NOT USE TO OTHER PEOPLE?? ONLY SERIOUS ANSWERS PLEASE... :)
2006-08-17 10:10:36 · 23 answers · asked by jlil_shortie143 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I would be concerned. It is normal for a 16 month old to cry when you leave. The daycare provider should be able to distract and calm your son down. The first week or so, I would expect that it may be more difficult. Your son is in the middle of separation anxiety. It is a new situation. There are new people. If it has been over a week, something is not right. Maybe your son is just not clicking with the daycare staff or they are not meeting your son's needs. I would look around for a new daycare. Only you know what is best for your son.
2006-08-17 10:40:03 · answer #1 · answered by seatonrsp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I run a home daycare and I have had children like this. Your child is probably not crying the whole day. Your child is probably crying on and off throughout the day and it is probably at times when he might being doing something different with you. Like say lunch might be a different time at daycare then at home or even nap time. It will probably subside in a couple of weeks to a month. I wouldn't worry about it unless something just doesn't feel right with your provider. Your child and the provider will warm up to eachother and things will get better. Just keep your routine and he will eventually realize that you are coming back and this place isn't so bad.
2006-08-17 10:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What type of daycare is he going to? Are there other children there? More than one or two daycare providers? A home environment or a public environment?
How long has he been going? Sometimes, children will need some time to adjust. But if he continues with this type of response, I would be concerned. Other signs to look for:
1. Change in his personality. Is he becoming sullen or aggressive and hard to handle?
2. Is he regressing as far as toilet training or talking?
3. How does he react to the daycare provider? Does he look nervous or frightened?
It is normal for him to cry during the transition to a new routine. Separation anxiety is normal. He is used to only you and his grandma.
BUT...the daycare should make his day fun and interesting. He eventually should look forward to going there.
Others might think of me as overprotective, but I would be nervous and suspicious if my child did NOT like to go to daycare. For one thing, he is so young that he cannot verbalize why he doesn't like it. He can't tell you if someone is mean to him or hurting him.
If he is crying all day long, the daycare provider isn't doing her job. She should be able to distract him with some fun activities. She should be patient and loving, too.
Gosh, I would LOVE the chance to take care of a precious little one again. My children are grown. But I'm going to teach now so I'll be around little ones again.
Don't take chances with your child! Find a good provider, preferably one in a public setting so there will be other children to play with and other providers to witness the type of care he receives. I would never trust a lone stranger.
Good luck!
2006-08-17 10:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by hope03 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is still screaming after the first week something might be wrong. Most children adjust to new surroundings fairly quick. There has to be something there that he likes and enjoys doing. Does the daycare provider tell you he is screaming all day? Or does he scream and cry when you drop him off, and do the same when he sees you coming to pick him up?
2006-08-17 10:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that he is not used to being away from you/your mom.....or it could be an unhealthy environment at daycare. Go with your gut feeling. We went through the same thing with our son and didnt listen to our guts. After we put in a different daycare he was much happier and better off. We never did find out what was going on at the first daycare, but it definately wasnt a good environment.
2006-08-17 12:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
18 months is when separation anxiety is in full swing. As someone who worked with toddlers in child care and now trains infant and toddler caregivers for the state I can say this is very normal and depending upon your child's temperament it could take him a good long while to adjust particularly at this age. That being said you should try to take off early one day (or your mom) and just drop in unannounced and try to observe from a distance to see how things are going. Make sure he has "transitional objects" like blankies, stuffed animals and pictures of you and your mother to have during the day. Be wary of centers who want you to let them know before you drop in or don't seem to take your child's adjustment seriously. Be consistent with your schedule. Don't leave him there for long periods of time. If your schedule is varied maybe your mom could pick him up at the same time every day. If after 6 months or so you are all as miserable as today you might consider a family day care home that has fewer children and more one to one time. Group care is just not suitable to some children's personalities.
2006-08-18 09:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by stargirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would check into the daycare by popping up unannounced. He may not like leaving you because he is used to being around you. But make sure the daycare is safe because he shouldn't be screaming the whole time your gone. We have enough horror stories to last a life time.
2006-08-17 10:20:16 · answer #7 · answered by Medical and Business Information 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't totally ignore your instincts. God gives them to us for a reason. I'm not saying they're being mean to him but it's worth thinking about. Are they licensed? If so, most states will let you review their files and that way you can see if they have any sort of bad history. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just speaking from experience. When my daughter was a little less than 2 she had her leg broken in an abuse incident. It was to say the least very devastating. After that happened I found out that I could review the daycares files and when I did I found tons of complaints against her but nothing was ever done. It actually took her abusing another child after mine to finally get her shut down and arrested. Good luck to you and I hope and pray that your sons just not used to the daycare yet.
2006-08-17 10:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by shominyyuspa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child is not use to being away from you and this is called separation anxiety. If you tell him that you will be back at a certain time and keep that promise then he will feel more safe.For a little while whenever you pick him up have him a surprise and always reminnd him that you came back and he will began to have fun at the daycare and will look forward to seeing you when you pick him up.
2006-08-17 10:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by chicken3074 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the daycare provider? How well do you trust her or him. I'd check it out. It could be separation anxiety or a serious problem there.
Did this place come recommended? How many other kids are there? Is he too tired?
If he is screaming all day he is going to be traumatized. FInd out why and be sure what is going on.
2006-08-17 10:17:24 · answer #10 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋