Now, all of a sudden he is calling all the time. He always wants three ways. I don't know how to approach this situation. The last time I talked to him about his calling habbits and told him not to call so much it's too expensive, he stopped calling all together. We gave him an inch last weekend because his girlfriend was going into rehab and he wouldn't be able to talk to her for a month, so we let him call four times in a row to talk to her. Now, he is calling almost everyday. Anyone else have family in prison, how do you deal with someone in prison? They seem to be very touchy and easily offended. My husband is afraid to say much to him anymore, so I am stuck dealing with this. We want to talk to him, the calls are adding up though. Help. I know he is in prison, but why does he have to make us feel bad about it?
2006-08-17 09:56:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, if this is your husband's brother, your husband should be dealing with it.
Secondly, DO NOT DO THE THREE WAY CALLS. It's illegal
You deal with the calls by accepting the one or two a week that you can manage to pay for without going hungry, then refuse the charges on the rest and write him a letter explaining that the price of the calls makes it impossible for you to talk more than that.
Lastly, go to http://www.prisontalk.com
It is a wonderful on-line community for the friends and families of the incarcerated and you'll find all kinds of support and information
Good luck.
2006-08-21 02:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's bored and has nothing to do. That's his problem.
I would say "It's o.k to call two times a week, we just cannot financialy afford anymore than that." Like you've done before but this time I wouldn't give him an inch.
How about sending him stationary to write?
He is in there for a reason and they make sure their bored so he won't re offend. If it's too cushy for him he won't learn his lesson. So be firm and hopefully it will all work out for the better.
2006-08-17 10:06:47 · answer #2 · answered by Carey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come on he is in prison after all!!!! How can you not let him call more than 2 times a week, ok calling all the time seems excesive but if he is in prison he may need the company its probably quite isolating to be there. Im sure ud like to call more than twice a week if you were in prison especially if you wanted to talk to your husband!!!
As for the cost well i think you have a poin there... just lay it out to him and tell him straight hey look i cant afford it!!!!
2006-08-17 10:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by lazydazy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you to determine and set the appropriate boundary in this situation. For instance, three-way calling is a) extremely expensive; and, b) one way for him to talk to someone without the prison being able to track who he's talking to... or so he thinks.
By allowing him to call at will, by accepting the charges for those calls, and by setting up three-way calls, you are doing nothing but enabling him and encouraging him to work around the system, rather than growing up and living within the legal boundaries of our society.
He's in prison for a reason. If you are going to pay a phone bill, it should be for YOUR benefit, not his. If he want's to talk to whoever, let HIM pay for it!! If you want to talk to him once a week, then that's an appropriate boundary to set. Any more would be solely for his benefit. If he chooses not to call, then that's on him.
Folks on probation and parole are notoriously selfish, want things their way, can't understand why they can't have it that way.. and are masters at manipulating the feelings of those who love them.
Don't fall for it!
2006-08-17 10:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him call once a month and be sure to make that clear to him. after the call for the month dont accept anymore. also limit the time spent on the phone to 15 minutes
2006-08-17 10:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by him n her♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. You can't afford it. Tell him it's nothing personal but you just can't continue it. I'm sure it's because the sheer fact that he's in there and you are the only source of his "outside" world, but don't let him step on you. Confront him and schedule days for him to call. HTH
2006-08-17 10:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by Elaine D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to stop calling. that he knew that prison would be lonley and he shouldnt have done what he did because now hes feeling the emptyness that the sound of steel railings give as they slam and shut him in his jail cell.
but seriously, try calling the jail that hes at and see if they can limit his callings at all to your house.
change your number to a private one.
2006-08-17 10:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Dreams 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly what you mean!!! All you have to do is dont answer when he calls!!! Its mean but, you didnt put him in the situation he is in, right? Only answer when its financialy right for you!!!
2006-08-17 10:04:01 · answer #8 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hes in priso for 1
2006-08-17 10:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by tilman 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get caller ID and don't answer when he calls........
2006-08-17 10:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by xmy4sentsx 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋