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Im mixed my mother is blk and my father is white.
My boyfriend is white a..
We've been dating for so long now like 7 years and Im 21 now, but anyway he wants to get married and so he told his parents about it... his dad was happy for him on the other hand his mom was very dissapointed,, she said she thought I was a phase and that he should stick with his race, he told me about it I was hurt cause all these years I always thought she was nice, but she says she wont have anything to do with him if he marries me.. we still intend to get married, but I dont want to ruin their relationship.. you know..
Anyway I went to his parents house the other night and she called me all kinds of mutts asking how did I feel growing up mixed.. I told her my childhood was fine... she was like she didnt want any mixed grandkids and she wouldnt even own up to them.. that hurt so so bad her husband got fed up with her and we left together he told me hed be at the wedding regardless

2006-08-17 09:42:10 · 21 answers · asked by proudvirgin 1 in Family & Relationships Family

But his mother continues to be mean.. she snarls at me so I dont go around her anymore my parents are happy for me and him, but I dont know she just kinda hurt my feelings really bad.. Theres nothing wrong with this is it.. dating out of my race, but you see I have no race.. no one does, but I dont know what should I do?
My emotions are scrambled..
Id appreciate the help..
thanks

2006-08-17 09:43:47 · update #1

21 answers

Sheesh, it's unbelievable isn't it. Get married, have lots of lovely children and see if her heart is really as hard when she sees them.

I come from a family like the league of nations. Mother English Protestant, Father Pakistani Moslem, 2 Protestant siblings, I've a half sister who is Roman Catholic, a half brother who's a Methodist, and me and my other 3 siblings are Moslem. Between us we are a mix of English, Pakistani, Irish, Indian. We're aged from 67 the oldest to 45 the youngest. And we are most of us now grandparents ourselves. We have every combination of blonde brunette, redhead, green, blue, brown eyes. Pale, light, olive skin. And guess what.... we all get on and are perfectly normal! The mixed gene pool yields good lookers and brains too!

Oh, nearly forgot, I'm married to a Liverpool Irishman and now have a nice mix of Islamic and Irish Catholic name!

So anyone must surely understand why I have absolutely NO time for racist bigotry.

2006-08-17 10:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by copperyclover 3 · 0 0

What the hell year does your future mother-in-law think she is living in? Well, here is what I think: there is only 1 race - the human race and she is a doorknob for being that way. I can see why you are hurt and I don't blame you but if your fiance decides to turn his back on his mother for you, then this will cause more problems in your lives and he really needs to understand this and possibly get some counseling to come to terms with his decision. A thing like this can wedge a couple apart, no matter how much they love each other. He sounds like a good guy and in time, maybe his mom will come around, but chances are, you will have to sever the ties with her in order to keep your relationship on track and have a happy marriage until that day comes. Are both of you prepared to do that?

2006-08-17 10:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

OMG! First off let me say how terribly sorry I am that you are dealing with that. To answer your question there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating or marrying someone of another race. You and your boyfriend have done nothing bad but love and respect each other. The person in the wrong is his mother. She is now letting her, sorry to say, ignorance finally come to the forefront. She has no right to insult you like that. If anything happens between her and her son, its her fault. And not loving any children you have is her loss.

Unfortunately there are still some very racists people in our society. They smile in your face one minute and spit in it the next. Like I said she has finally decided to start showing her true colors because her son does not share the same "values" she does. From what it seems, your boyfriend has luckily taken after his father in the personality department.

I would suggest to just stay away from his mother for the time being. Your boyfriend needs to have a long serious talk with both of his parents and hash everything out before you both move on towards marriage. He needs to let his feelings known, and let his mother know that this is what he wants.

Again, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I think its disgusting and just proves that racism is alive and well and shows no signs of going away...unfortunately.

2006-08-17 09:57:26 · answer #3 · answered by Brian & Justin Fan! 4 · 0 0

She's an ignorant idiot. You have the right point of view. You two need to follow your hearts. Race means absolutely nothing. If you believe that he is the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with and he feels the same way about you, then who in the hell cares about what race either one of you is. Get married and have a happy relationship. He just has to understand that there will always be tension in his family because of his love for you. If he is willing to cope with that, then you two will most likely live a happy life.

2006-08-17 09:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

nicely, i does not deliver a toddler into this international. I plan to undertake. additionally i will possibly on no account decide on my existence companion in keeping with what style of little ones they might make. i in my opinion chosen my companion in keeping with love. yet , I do understand to a definite degree what you're speaking approximately. My spouse has an enormously distant ancestor who replaced right into a black cuban, the rest have been german, irish, etc, very diminished. yet my spouse is dark. 365 days around tan, deep brown eyes, eye-catching brown hair. I even have continually prefered "tan" brunettes via fact my grandmother replaced right into a eye-catching Italian woman with olive epidermis tone and that i well-known and enjoyed her all my existence. additionally I do think of that mixed race little ones/adults are very appealing. although i've got not got self assurance that your medical or medical data are precise. There are some very extreme well being subjects the African American community has, I had to take a class approximately it as quickly as yet of direction i do no longer keep in mind it, in basic terms the jist. i think of it rather is heart ailment and breast maximum cancers. yet heavily, you're no longer a canines breeder, you're a individual. decide on your companion considering which you like them and picture long and sophisticated approximately bringing yet another harmless toddler into this international. I assure you there are various mixed race little ones who would desire to be observed. additionally what happens once you do all this artwork to get the suited toddler, and your toddler is born with cerebral palsy or down's syndrome or dwarfism or the different ingredient that's deemed "imperfect" ? i think of in case you are going to get pregnant you may make certain that your toddler would be suited, no count what. have not got a toddler until eventually you sense that wholeheartedly.

2016-09-29 09:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

just ignore her and don't let her get the best of u. there's nothing u can do to change her so i wouldn't even try. u have ur father-in-law-to-be on ur side so that's a def plus. u also have ur parents and boyfriend to turn to for support. as for grandkids, a woman like that doesn't deserve them. when u do have them, have ur father-in-law come over to visit or meet somewhere else so ur children won't be subjected to such behavior on her part.

2006-08-17 13:13:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

*Hugs*. Honey, his mother is just a bigot. Forget her. He has chosen you, his dad is fine with it, as are your parents, and ultimately it is your life, not theirs. He obviously loves you and isn't going to let his mother stand in the way of that, so don't you let her either. I am speaking from experience. I am American Chinese and my husband was raised in australia but strict traditional Chinese. BOTH of his parents threatened to disown him if he married me. Guess what? He married me. We have been happy with no regrets for 10 years now. We have 2 great kids together that his parents do not claim and that is fine. as far as our kids know, those people do not exist. It is their loss, not ours.

2006-08-17 09:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0 0

Tell her we all belong to the same race: the HUMAN race! Time usually turns stubborn people, they usually come around eventually. The reality is, we can't choose our families, we can only choose our friends and spouses; hopefully she will be able to overcome her narrow mindedness and see you for your personhood and not your ethnicity. Good luck.

2006-08-17 10:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You should be with who you want to be with. In this day and age, it doesn't matter what race, religion, social status, etc. the other person is. If you both want to be together and are legal, then there is nothing wrong with it.

2006-08-17 10:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by ajy1 2 · 0 0

If you love another person, no matter what color/race they are, there is nothing wrong with dating a person. His mother is the only one that loses if you get married, and I'm sorry she is so prejudiced:(

2006-08-17 09:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 0 0

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