I was adopted when I was 3. Don't have any information about my birth parents. Adoptive mom ripped up papers and will not help. My adoptive father molested me for 10 years. My mom blames me. She still talks to him. And tried to take my children around him.. at which time I cut off all contact. I just can't understand why she still wants him in her life and I am the bad person. She has threatened to call HRS on me because I will not let her see my kids.. I feel like I am just protecting them. She acts like I should forgive him and move on. I just can't do that. Can anyone relate? Why is she always against me and always on his side? When I first told the authorities I was 16 she even made me go back and say that I lied.
2006-08-17 09:20:14 · 9 answers · asked by kristye 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hello, This Brings back old Memories. it's not up to you to try and figure out why your adoptive mom is the way she is. you may never find the answers you need. and if you do. it's still does not change things. They'll never be an answer that justifys or satisfies your mind...it is what it is. You are in control of you now and your children .do not let your adoptive mom intemidate you anymore. look out for your children and yourself and just move on.your doing the right thing. I would suggest getting counseling for yourself because your questions will probably never be answered. and that is a hard thing to deal with.
Do not under any circumstances let her subject your children to what you have been through. good luck to you.
2006-08-17 09:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by need to know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would completely distance myself from her. Have no contact with her. What kind of mother would blame a child for being molested? Even worse she takes his side? This is the problem with adoptive parents sometimes. There needs to be more done to protect children put into foster and adoptive situations. You don't need her in your life. You have your children and I'm sure you will do whatever it takes to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to them. So she wants to call Child Protective Services or Human Resources, etc. Let her! What will they find? I'm sure nothing. But they may be interested to know how you were treated as a child. Good luck!
2006-08-17 09:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, there is no such thing as grand parental rights and she therefore cannot call anybody to make you let her see your kids. Cut off all contact and move. She'll be making false accusations to social services and have your kids and you under constant supervision. If you find the adoption agency you were adopted through you can find out more info on your birth family. Do Not let that woman that raised you near you or your kids.
2006-08-17 09:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this but I wouldn't let me children anywhere around this man. Protect your children and even if your Mom calls HRS, what is she going to tell them? They can't make you take your kids to see them. Just make sure your kids are healthy and well cared for so that she doesn't have anything else to pin against you if she were to call. I would tell them both to take a hike.
2006-08-17 09:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...well i'm assuming you are grown now and i'm not that i cannot relate to you but if i was in your position your neither one of your adoptive parents would see my children and she can call HRS on you all she wants you have a right to do what you want maybe they just weren't the right people to take you in you seem like you deserve better than that
2006-08-17 09:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by KrIsTyN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she is a loser who has no chance of getting any other man in her life. She probably adopted you so he could have a child to molest.
2006-08-17 09:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by Pseudo Obscure 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine area of you is feeling responsible because of not being waiting to have an open relationship which includes his first father and mom and it really is your way of therapeutic that guilt - it truly is punctiliously wide-spread and genuinely particularly healthful. i might want to shop doing this, yet do not forget that a pair issues might want to take position down the line. One, you could come to a decision years from now that you do not favor to provide your son the letters no matter if he makes a decision to recconect - it really is okay, because it remains supplying you with the peace of "sharing with them" what is going on, even no matter if it truly is not for genuine. 2, he might want to opt for that he would not favor to percentage that area with them no matter if reconnection is his decision because he might want to experience that they did something to lose the right to that area of his existence. try to recognize that determination of his. except for that, I recognize you for what you're doing. you particularly seem to love your son and are in touch with how he will react to all of this, which any loving confirm might want to be. shop up the solid artwork!
2016-11-05 01:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your adoptive mom and my mom were seperated at birth.
Sorry for what you've suffered.
I can relate.
2006-08-17 09:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by delilahlookingforsampson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO OFFENSE BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY ARE BOTH SICK...IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE THINKS THAT YOU ARE EXPENDABLE NOT BEING THEIR BIRTH CHILD...i THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING NOT LETTING THEM SEE YOUR CHILDREN...STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND STAND UP TO YOUR ADOPTIVE PARENTS. THE KIDS ARE YOUR #1 PRIORITY NOT THEM......
2006-08-17 09:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋