anyone wanna cheer me up ??

Answer 1

How do you confuse a blonde?

Answer 2

Here read this:



One Payday Mr. Peanut wanted a Bit O'Honey, so he took Mary Jane behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. He began to feel her Mounds. That was pure Almond Joy. It made her Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as his Butterfinger went up her Juicyfruit and caused a Milky Way. She screamed Oh Henry as she squeezed his Peter Paul and Zagnuts. Mary Jane said "You are even better than the Three Musketeers." Soon she was a bit Chunky and nine months later had a Baby Ruth.

Answer 3

Foreigners: Dam. I love been a foreigner, some of us get married as arrangement and some as family loyalty. My wife (Dam)

Anyway… We went to a restaurant in London, whilst I was waiting for my our meal, the fork drop on the floor, as I was about to pick it up, the waiter ran over and said “never mind sir I will replace it with a new one”

I then accidentally drop the serviette on the floor, the waiter again rush over and again said “never mind sir I will replace it with a new one”

A few moments later I look to my right where my wife was sitting on the edge of the chair…
Dam, dam, dam.

Answer 4

Perfect Weight Loss Program!



A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as
a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing
happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he
has lost 10 lb. as promised.

He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that
reads: "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent
shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's
definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four
days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he
weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lb. as
promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone - "This is our most
rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds
this huge, muscular, 7ft man standing there wearing nothing but pink
running shoes and a sign around his neck that read:, "I'm Ronald. If I
catch you, you're mine..."

Answer 5

Nope

Answer 6

OK

2 - 4 - 6 - 8
Who do we appreciate?

g-u-i-l-t-y-s-p-r-i-n-c-e-s-s

YEH! Rah Rah Rah

Ooooooooo
a tickle on the bum with a duster
a tickle on the bum with a duster
Oh Stick it in yer eye
And shout "Oh me Oh my"
And tickle it on your bum with a duster.

All together now

Knees up Mother Brown
Knees u . . . . . aw, come on - join in

Under the table you must go
ee i ee i ee i oh
If I catch you bending
I'll pull your knickers down
Knees up knees up
Never get the bre - - - - -- it's not working is it?

You're going to kill yourself after all, aren't you?

What a waste
What a shame

Oh well - on to another question

Byeeeeeeeeeee

Answer 7

Two cannibals were eating a clown, half way through the meal one turns to the other and asks " Does this taste funny to you ?"

Answer 8

Yes i do wanna cheer you up...

Answer 9

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and the barman recognises him, he says: " i'm trying to keep my ID a secret. Just call me Hoff. " The barman says: " OK, no hassle ".

Answer 10

No why in the hell would I do that my mom wants me to slap you in you face and the rest of these fools just want you to bend over did you smell what you were looking for.......... Hahaha LOL

Answer 11

What's red and sits in the corner?



A naughty bus!