disciplining other people's children?

Question

If you were at the park, and another kid pushed your kid, and the other parent didn't do anything about it, what would you do? I've run into this problem a lot and usually I just remove my daughter from the situation. But it doesn't seem fair that she should have to leave whatever she was doing. I've run into a lot of parents that don't discipline their kids at all. I'm talking about deliberate pushing/hitting, not accidental ones.

Answer 1

I often joke to my hubby when we are at the park that I should wear a shirt that says, "Yes, I am a preschool teacher, but I am not being paid to watch YOUR child today!" It never fails that there are the neglegent parents who are half-way across the park when their child is being the terror of the jungle-gym. I typically go into "preschool teacher" mode and talk to the child just as I would any of my students. Usually a firm, "I don't want you to push her. She's much smaller than you." does the trick. If the situation goes beyond that, move your child. I know it doesn't seem fair, but you'd rather your child be safe than go tumbling down the stairs. And, you really can't (unless you are being paid to do so) discipline someone elses' child beyond a firm command at a park. A couple of times of telling the offending child that what they are doing is inappropriate should at least cause them to stay away from you! They don't want to be repremanded, so they most likely will move away from the one person at the park who is telling them they can't do what they are doing. Stand up for your child though... some of the older children can really hurt your little one.

Answer 2

I would have just went up to the child that did the hitting or pushing and first say "what would your mom/dad think if they saw you do that?" then tell them "If I see that you do that again you will get off the climber/slide/swing away from the group" stand by it...if you see it 1 more time calmly go up to the other child (if your child is old enough they can do this them self I mean like 8 or 9 years old any younger and I would do it myself) and tell them "I just saw you hit/kick/push again you need to get off the climber/slide/ whatever they are on or doing " and stand right by them and make sure they leave the area, do not physically touch them but usually another parent breathing down there neck is good enough, if the other parent has a problem calmly explain that you did see their child do whatever and you reminded them that was not allowed at the park they did it again and you asked them to leave the area untill they could behave better. any parent with a problem with the way it was handled can at that point kiss your a** and if they get beligerent about it I would move away from the area /or find where the "park rules" are and point them out to the parent. I have had to do this a couple times...I hate to say it but I live in an area with a ton of "Ghetto" parents who let their kids act horribly at the park but that is no excuse...I would not take my child away from the park at all because of this, so long as your child was being respectful, only reason I would leave was if it became clear that it was gonna be a confrontation between parents that would be harmful to the children involved.

Answer 3

Definately you should go discipline the other child! If a child is seriously pushing/hitting another child then obviously there isn't enough discipline coming from that child's parents in the first place. If I were you, I'd go up to the kid (pull your own child away first of all) and look into that little brat's face and tell them hitting/pushing is wrong. If they really hurt my child I would march the kid over to his parents even and tell them what happened. Good luck with that :)

Answer 4

Well my first reaction would to let that child know loud enough so the parent can hear me that its not ok to push your child. I would wait, not take your child away yet and see if the parent notices or if the child stops. If it happens again I would nicely tell the parent that their child is pushing others kids. If nothing happens then you leave. There is nothing wrong with defending your child and telling the bully to stop. You dont always have to walk away right away. Never tell the child to hit or push back. It just makes matters worse or tells the child its ok to hit.

Answer 5

I have simply told the other child that it is wrong to hurt another child, it sometimes works, sometimes doesn't..if your non-confrontational with the child, most parents are ok with it..but you are so right..I am so tired of hearing kids screaming in the mall, or on the playground, and the parents just sit there, not doing anything, or saying anything, but let your child do something to their kid..whew!!! It's like they're afraid of their kids not liking them or something, or you get the parents that ignore their children because they're afraid someone might call CPS if they discipline them.

Answer 6

I see your point. I would say something to the parent if he/she wasn't doing anything about their bully kid. I would definately say something, not only to the kid but the parent as well.
Once I took my 5 year old boy to a public swimming pool. And while he was swimming, there was another little girl about his age there as well, with her mom sitting on the side watching. Well, my son was splashing around and having fun, and he splashed this little girl in the face, not a lot of water, just a little. And the little girl didn't say anything, she just kept swimming. The mother of the little girl looked at me and said, "Is that your son? He just splashed my daughter, and I'm sure she didn't appreciate that. " I looked at her and said, "Well, it was an accident, and your daughter didn't say anything, so I'm sure she's ok." And I got kind of offended by her being so protective about it. Gees.

Answer 7

You can say something to the child, and depending on the situation and your own character, you should speak with the parent. Nothing aggressive, just simple "Hey, excuse me. I just wanted to bring to your attention that such and such happened". But, unfortunately a lot of times you have to remove your child from the area. As long as you are a respectful adult when comfronting, you may get a positive response from the other parent. Otherwise, you will see where their child gets their unnatural behavior from. "The apple does not fall far from the tree."
Just make sure you never let your child handle the situation... it may get out of hand.

Answer 8

You owe it to that other child to provide the discipline s/he needs. The discipline his/her parents aren't providing. So yes, I'd stop short of spanking, but I would take the child immediately to his/her parents demanding discipline. If the parent doesn't provide it, I'd look the child right in the eye and sternly tell him/her that if my kid did that, I would ______ and his/her parent should too.

Then walk away. The parent probably won't learn anything, but the child will learn that his/her parents aren't always right and they can't get away with this stuff with every adult they meet.

Answer 9

When I was a kid, I would get hit or yelled at for acting that way. So, of course, I would have no problems with that if my child was acting up. There are extremes of course. I wouldn't want you insulting my child, or punching him in the throat. People are different though, and some have no common sense, courtesy, or proper behavior training themselves. I would keep a close eye on the trouble maker and see if they do it to other kids also. Then bring it up to the parent.

Answer 10

i would say something to the parent. nothing rash but a "excuse me i think we might have a little problem. our children got into a fight...." so on and so forth. It really bothers me when people don't do anything when there kids are aggresive towards other kids. its not fair to your own child because they get punished someway somehow and the other child still thinks its alright to do it again maybe to another child. parents should take care of there own. and if i have to point it out so be it.