Why do children fathers have to be such jerks when the mother ask for help with them??

Question

andcall them an unfit mom when they need help? and say they will take custody of them when they dont do anything now for them or before?????

just to let the people who are saying keep ur legs closed! I was married to their father for 4 years and with him for 6 years. We are now seperated, I give him the effort to see them and all he does is give excuses why he cant take them. we have a ppo against him but my daughter loves him I cant keep him from her. My sons hasnt seen him in a year hes 16 months

I happy to have alot of advice and answers thank you many of u helped. Just to let u know I am not an unfit i dont do drugs, or drink, im 23 with 2 kids, i never go out ever! I go to school, work, and home. Thank u

Answer 1

I couldn't agree more with ahammondtx, choosing the right partner to father your children is a very very big decision that all to many times is rushed into by young women. I speak from experience as I was married at 19, had my first child at 21 and shortly thereafter found myself a single mother of 2 kids who's father wanted nothing to do with them. I have no one to blame but myself for choosing the wrong partner. I don't get child support nor does their father take them for weekends or even so much as call them. However, as my children grow into wonderful people, I also have no one to share the gratefulness with, years from now I can look back and say "those are my children, I raised them!"
So remember when you are mad at the father for something, you are the one that chose him to be their father, don't cast the blame all away.

Answer 2

Because they are just that, jerks. They are not [sometimes never will be] ready to take on the responsibility of being a daddy. Like the add says it takes a man to be a father.
As far as calling a mother unfit its just their way of holding some sort of sadisic power trip over the mother.
Unless the mother is doing somethine seriously wrong I highly doubt the so called father can try to take the children away. But I may be wrong I am not a legal expert.
Unfortunately or fortunately [depending on how you take it] this situation will never change.
Jerk dads will stay jerk dads and will always try to have a power trip, dont worry you are better off. There are men out there that look forward to being a dad, role model, even if its not his blood they are happy to do so.

Answer 3

To be politically correct its dead beat parents. The shoe fits both feet and its only some that act this way. Take a good look at the whole picture and you will find most of the time its not the custodial parent but the csea and the way they treat noncustodial parents. Look further at the school system and the community in which you live. Not all schools or communities will comply fully with a court order. This leaves the noncustodial parent out of the circle, and the noncustodial parent feels like why should I when they really want to. The noncustodial parent will strike out at the custodial because you can't fight city hall. Granted some men and women are just jerks. I hope this little insight helps. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

First of all you should know that all fathers are not like that. My baby's father is an amazing man. He never complains when I ask him to help me and never threatens me with custody or call me an unfit mother. Sounds to me like your children's father has some growing up to do and needs to learn some understanding when in comes to being a mother. Taking care of children is a big responsibility and alot of work. I heard that it is comparable to 2 full time jobs! You should try and talk it out with him and maybe suggest parenting counseling together for your children's benefit. They need both parents working together for a successful life.

Answer 5

I think this a very biased question. Not all fathers are terrible in fact most are very decent. Need you not forget you chose the guy you got pregnant by. I also find it disappointing that courts normally award custody to the mothers even if they aren't the best parent for the child to live with. I think if the guy is really being as unreasonable as you are saying maybe you should take him to court for more child support or have his visitations revoked. But whatever the case you should not put all the blame on fathers not everyone is like your ex.

Answer 6

This is not normal; that is a verbally-abusive situation. If this is your mother having the problems, she needs to ditch your father and find somebody else. If you're the mother, see same advice. Nobody should have to put up with that. He's obviously not a fit father, and I seriously doubt there's any way he -could- get custody. Don't let him threaten you into complacency.

Answer 7

been through this. but without him saying im an unfit mother cause he knows i treat and teach my son the good stuff. dont worry about what hes saying, til he stands up to the plate and supports them financially and physically then he can open his mouth til then dont listen to him, im sure hes just trying to get u all moody. not worth the stress. its tough but we all females are strong and never let a man bring you down. not only be strong for ourselves but for our children. you can do it without him or find someone that wants u and ur kids that will treat yall how u should be treated with respect as well as ur kids. goodluck u can do it.

Answer 8

Because they don't want to step up to the plate and take on the responsibilty..as for name calling on the mother...these guys are weak and want to blame someone other than theirself. My sister went thru this with her sons dad...and as I have said before...he will get older and form his own opinion of this jerk...and he has...he see who he is and what he is about. Kids are smarter than you think. Just do the best job you can for your kids. Like I told my sister any man can be a dad but it takes a real man to be a father.

Answer 9

Fathers?? You mean Dads, because now a days these guys are not living up to father standards....They dont know how to act because they were probably not raised right in the home with there Fathers....How would you know how to be a real Father, if you never had one???

Answer 10

Same reason mothers take the child support money and use it on theirselves and leave the child at home from 8am to 8pm with nothing to eat in the house, tell them not to use the AC, and the kid runs around in socks with holes in the toes and has to wear the same shirt 3x a week to school...