my wife has left me and the children, whats the best thing for me to do now?

Answer 1

move on with your life

Answer 2

I know a lot of these responders joked about getting a younger prettier girlfriend, but do NOT date again until after a divorce is final. It will only make the divorce proceedings that much longer, and you may lose out on abandonment as your type of divorce. Not to mention it will confuse your children.

Find a good attorney, and get the ball rolling. There are children involved, and you don't want this to take longer than it has to.

On a side note, my mother left my father when I was a child, and it was seven years before they actually got divorced. Miserable for us kids. I wish they had just cut the ties sooner and been done with it.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I see you have a lot of answers and have not read them all the way through, but wanted to say the few simple thngs that come to mind.

If you are still on speaking terms with your wife, then talk to her about it. Ask her why... It might help to know more.

Also dicuss with her how you are going to do things... like see the children.

Work out any legal things with a lawyer.

Continue with other things that are familiar to you, such as work and any hobbies.

Think of some new things you might want to do, things that have been on your mind for a while, but yet you never quite got around to doing....

If it feels too hard to deal with after a little while then dont feel bad about seeing a psychologist for eg. You would not be the first and its a perfectly good reason to see one. Its better than making yourself feel worse....

I wish you the best. I know it might not be the right time to say it, but there will be good things to come out of this... even if you can not see them now.... you can try and look for them a bit later....

Answer 4

Take a bottle of Scotch, smoke a cigarette and think about why she left you taking the kids with her. There must be some reason. There is always a reason and frankly I think you know very well why she left.

If it is for another man, try to settle a good arrangement with your kids before the other guy claims his rights. If you don't have your wife anymore, for whatever reason, at least fight for your kids. I hope you are a good father because I don't know your background and history.

Anyhow, I wish you good luck because it will probably take some time for you to get over this. Try not to make the same mistakes next time, maybe you are better of alone anyway. I would try to be alone first for a while in order to get to know who you are again and where you are from.

Answer 5

Here is what I did . Patch up all loose ends . kids medical records etc, become semi active in the community, for example if your children are young, get them of to play group or Kinda . This gives you ,and your Kids, contact with peers . You will find there are a lot of good people out there willing to lend a hand or an ear but you have to reach out .If you have parents and they are willing to help let them.
Become as actively involved as you can,use society to your advantage Whilst you have the Kids , see a Paediatrician what ever . Always keep records of your daily routine and access or lack of access that the mother has . Once noted in the community for your efforts, get references from those directly concerned with the welfare of your children,stating so. Most important of all see a solicitor prepare an
affidavit outlining why you should have your children as opposed to you wife "be as ruthless as you can , but don't send it off , She may send one to you, it is better to respond second . This allows you to see what your up against and put forward a better case.If you wife decides to go for custody . First thing to do is safeguard yourself and your children . keep a clean house PS remember not to become too self righteous give yourself at least a little time to stay in tune with who you are.
I almost forgot enjoy your children. don't use them to release any unwanted anxieties about your situation

Answer 6

Make sure the kids know that mummy still loves them but needs some time on her own, that it is not because of something they have done and that mummy & daddy love them & that they are fantastic & special kids.
Don't bad mouth the mummy as this can do damage to the kids & make sure they feel loved,

Make sure you have childcare sorted so you can still work, finances will be very important.

You need to inform the school so they can keep an eye out for any psych / behaviour problems & make sure that mummy cannot just turn up & take the kids away to god knows where.

Make sure you are getting all the benefits & help you can, it may be hard to accept & feel like charity but you will be very grateful for it in time, single parenting is very hard at the best of times.

Start legal proceedings so you can get full custody & make sure you are known legally as being separated / abandoned it will help clarify your position in any future court proceedings.

Answer 7

I am sorry to hear this but whatever the reason for this happening, do make sure you keep the lines of communication open as those children need BOTH parents.

Please don't fall for the temptation to use them as bait or ammunition by trying to outdo each other with ever more exotic or expensive presents etc. It's not fair on the kids and anyway they'll soon see through it and take you for every penny you've got!

I hope you and your wife manage to resolve your differences but whatever happens, pull together where the upbringing of your children are concerned.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Make sure you get a darn good solicitor/lawyer. Close the joint bank account and make sure she doesn't get the house! Oh, yes, and cancel all your credit cards. Give the children extra loving, and make sure they know that you're not going to run away too. Be very careful; this happened to my son and his ex-wife eventually ended up with the home and children and he was left 'out in the cold', simply because he wasn't the mother! A very difficult time for you - good luck for a better future.

Answer 9

First i must say my heart goes out to you. but the only thing you can do right now is to focus on the well-being of your children. i know they are full of questions , and those questions need to be answered depending on age of your children. surrond yourself with family and friends you will need support getting through this. Life doesnt stop , so as parents we have to pick up the pieces for the sake of our children and move on in a positive direction. Keep your head up, do the best u can by your children and the rest will come in blessings.

Answer 10

My wife left me with three children 11 years ago, one of them being just over one. I buckled down and got on with it, my eldest girl has just had her 21 birthday.
yes i brought two of them through puberty and my youngest is also a girl and she is going through that time now.
You have to put up with the hating from the girls when they cant have their friends staying the night.
The problem is not you but the nasty things that can be said by malicious people and there are many out there.
I can only wish you the best of luck and tell you that you are not alone. the gingerbread society have a website for single fathers http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information-and-advice/documents/fathbook.pdf
You can feel free to write to me at [e-mail] at anytime. I will always reply.
"Daddy Dave"

Answer 11

To be honest mate, she has left you with the best asset... the kids. i know you probably don't think so at the moment, but in later years when all the dust has settled you will realise that your kids got you through it. And she, my friend, will be gutted at the fact that she left her children, they are the years that she will never be able to get back. You on the other hand will be able to sleep at night knowing that you honoured your responsibilities as a father to those kids, they need you. Good luck.