Why do bad things keep happening to me?

Question

No matter what I do, bad things keep happening to me and my family. We are good people and try to do the right things to have a good life as a family. Right now I feel like I am falling down a neverending hole and someone is throwing rocks at me.

We are putting every penny into the bills and our childrens needs, but we are still in a great deal of debt due to my childrens biological father. Most bills we have, we pay on twice a month. Both of our credit is shot so there is no chance of getting a loan to catch us up and minimize payments. Just recently our telephone pole/ electricity supply has had some complications and we lost power to half of our house. This means we are unable to shower here, wash dishes or laundry, and everything else involving water. We also cannot use our stove so I can no longer cook anything hot that doesn't come from the microwave. THe same day that this happened we recieved a forecloser notice and have 30 days to pay 1200.00 what can we do???????

Moving is not a choice because that would be more expensive at this point and we would lose four years of payments on our home, and only have two years left. I also just found out that I am pregnant which is very unplanned. My husband is happy but it is such bad timing for me. I was using every precaution but I gues the baby is just meant to be. I have been batteling deperession since my last child was born almost two years ago which makes everything even more stressful. We dont own a car big enough to fit our whole family in once the new baby is here, and cant afford another. We try and try and try but nothing seems to change, no matter what we do differently. we do not go to church because i believe that sitting around praying is not going to get us anywhere except for just sitting around- i believe in taking action, and dont feel there is anything wrong with that. Please give me some advice that I can really get out and go do???

Answer 1

I am very sorry that you are having a tough time of it right now........Please remember that it will get better.......All of us have or have had a rough way to go on occasion........Ask your church pastor for help and see if there is anything your church can do for you.......If you have children in the house, call the electric company and tell them that you HAVE to have electricity...........

Answer 2

There are refinancing companies out there that can refinance your home. You have some equity, paid four years. Have a financial advisor from one of those lending places, The lending Tree or others, help you refinance your home and even consolidate some debt in the payment. There are also companies out there that will buy you house cash, let you live there by renting and give you a chance to buy it back. Much better than losing it. Try doing a search on the web on refinancing, some don't bother that much with your credit rating as long as there's some equity involved. I'm sure a few hundred will pop up.
Hope this helps and keep you chin up. Pray some and things will change. GB :)

Answer 3

I would contact a credit counselling co and see what they can do for you. Also, because you have children you need to have electricity and a phone, call those companies and see what kind of payment methods you can do. Otherwise, I would ask my family for financial help. My other option would be to put your house on the market and move into an apartment building so that you are able to catch up a little bit better. It is expensive owning a home. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.

Answer 4

Ummm, first--depending on what state you live in, when a foreclosure is filed in Ca. they naturally want their money within 30 days, but to the actually final date we have 90 days to bring the mortgage current before auction. That's the way it works out here, so I would check your states foreclosure laws, procedures, on the web. Punch in your research words to the search browser and move them around till you find what you're looking for. Foreclosure,redemption period, California,laws.....etc.
Secondly, also in this state there are companies who inspite of your credit will bail out the house and stick on another mortgage as a second lien holder, depending only on how much equity you have in the property. Sometimes they pay off the first mortgage and carry a new note, mortgage, at probably a higher interest rate. So, call around from the yellow pages and look into your newspaper for ads to this effect.
If all else fails, and it's definetly the end and you have also tried to talk to the manager at your mortgage company to try to make other arrangements, then remember something: "It's only material." It can and WILL be replaced someday and in the meantime, an apartment or rental house will suffice as long as you're family is together and healthy. That's all that really matters in this life. WE seem to get ahead, then suddenly fall back ten steps, believe me, I know. I am there and have been MANY times. Don't let the stress get to you, somehow find hope and happiness in your family and strong will to survive. Don't make yourself sick over the "little things", aka MONEY. A roof of some sort and food on the table is all we really need, right? The rest will come as it will and as fast as it comes, or hard fought it was to have it come, it could all be taken in a flash, such as an illness, death, storm, earthquake and on and on. You need to take the attitude, that you don't want to lose it, but so what, you are together and together you'll all weather the storm no matter what. There is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel. Believe me, the light may not stay lit, for long, but it will always be there.
Bad things happen to good people. I know this first hand. Seems no matter what I do, there's always trauma in my life and I don't ask for it. Everytime I turn around it's something new, some new major money that HAS to be paid or else, that popped out of no where. It took me years to re-establish my credit and suddenly over the last four months it's all gone to sh-----. Now I 'm back to no where. But, each day I know that somehow, there will be closure to one problem, one way or another.
As for the biological father's bills you are paying? What the heck is this all about? If you were married to him during the course of the bills, then file bankruptcy and get it over with. That'll put the bills right back onto him and you will have no more responsibility for them. If it's other than that, then pay your own needs now and first, and pay when and if you can on the "past". Creditors will usually understand why bad credit has to do with something from the "past" while they see your current stuff is being paid timely.
As for the water, cooking and so forth with your electric problem. When we had the earthquake here in 94, I dug a hole in the back yard, put a BBQ grill over it and heated water, and cooked food there !! It was great fun and such a learning experience. We used water from a neighbors pool and dumped a bucket into the toilet tank to flush the toilet, so we still had use of it and put hot water, into the tub for baths. Took a while but just a little water is better than none. Laundry? The old fashioned way, a pale , soap, and a pale to rinse in, ring it and hang it.................
Use your imagination and get moving on calling around on this foreclosure thing. Talk to the mortgatge company and see what other arrangements might be made, or / and call refinancing companies who advertise bad credit no problem as long as you own your home. Raise up that chin, and try laughing and smiling and embrace your family. Believe me, it'll work out....believe me...... I speak to the truth with past and now present major money problems.
Hope I have helped somehow..............

Answer 5

Wow. Well have you considered maybe getting an apartment and renting your home? That is of coarse if you own it. You would be suprised but many people find themselves in financial straights simply because they dont use their home as income property. In most cases its cheaper to rent for a while at least till you catch up, than it is to live in your own house. Of coarse if you dont own the house you should still look to rent somewhere cheaper. Granted it will be smaller and uncomfortable but you need to get your finances in order.There is nothing you can do about your credit. It will take years to rebuild it so forget that for now. Plus the last thing you need right now is a loan. You want to try and position yourself so you are debt free. Try working 2 jobs for a while. I wish I had an easy answer but there really isnt. You can also try to reach out to some family members that would be willing to help.

Answer 6

Your obviously living beyond your means. You have spent way more than you make. You need to cut costs everywhere you can and take the additional money and pay down your debts first. You have to make wiser choices in spending money right now. Maybe sell your house and buy a much cheaper one. Get rid of a new car if you have and buy something used. Cut any extra monthly expense when possible. Dont eat out or buy prepared foods. Write down all the money that is being spent and you will see where you can cut.

Answer 7

When I was younger I spilled a bowl of boiling milk on my head because I couldn't reach the microwave that was too high, it hurt so bad, so I know what you feel :/ Now I laugh when I think of it because I was with a friend who was sleeping at my house and she laughed so bad at this at the moment which irritated me. But when we talked about it later we just laughed at it because that was kind of funny to watch I assume. But on a more serious note, I think putting cold water/ice on the burning is the right thing to do, and you should do it for at least ten minutes (it's very important to do it for a long time, 2 minutes is not enough) and after that you should put cream on it (I don't know if you have Biafine, but it should alleviate the burn). I know it hurts, just cheer up, I hope it'll be fine :)

Answer 8

well first off if you have any unnecessary luxuries such as cable the internet, cell phone you should cancel them and use that money that you would spend on those bills for more important things and get it back later. when it comes to your power loss, see if you can use a family memebers washer and dryer and ask if you can takr a shower there until you are able to get your power back. as for not being able to use the stove do you have a barbeque or anything like that if not just stick with sandwhiches and easy stuff like that for now i know it sucks but it won't last forever. when it comes to the forclosure notice just pay what you can in the 30 days you don't have to pay it all at once and even if it is not all paid off in 30 days that doesn't mean that your house will be taken away from you it is a long process i would suggest calling and asking about the procedures for forclosure.....i had to do that when we got our first tax bill and we ended up getting stuck with the over due bill of the person that use to own our house and i was told that you have 30 days to pay the taxes on time before they start to charge interest and then after about 6 months they then send you a forclosure notice and then it'd be another 18 months before the actual forclosure would take place. i know that things are tough for you right now and that things are easier said then done but just remember everyone goes through these tough times in life and then when your able to make it past all of the bs things only get better and you learn from it. try to be optimistic about your situation and look forward to the up hill climb. if you focus on how bad it is and get all depressed that won't get you anywhere. you need to be focused on fixing the problems in your life and saying to yourself that there isn't anything that you can't overcome. work hard and keep your head up things will get better for you. my husband in i went from living in a car, then to renting out space at a campground and staying in a tent, then living with family, then we finally got our house which we completely own and owe nothing on as well as with our car. not long after we moved into our new house i ended up getting pregnant and then found out that my baby would be born with birth defects and now she is a healthy 4 year old girl with no sign of having anything wrong with her but a few scars on her belly. after my daughter was born my husband and i had a lot of marital problems and ended up hurting each other and we almost got a divorce and now we are happier then ever with our two girls and now one on the way. we have had a lot of tough times and times when i thought it would be easier to just give up and thought that things would never get better but i had to lift my head up and take action and now i have a very happy life with my family. i know that in the years to come there will be more problems because life is not flawless. i think that we need those reality checks every once in a while and if you can make it through it only makes you stronger and smarter...good luck.. i will be praying for you and your family.....best wishes.

Answer 9

Bad things and good things happen to all people. Happy people are those who enjoy the good things while sad people are those who dwell on the bad things.

Studies have shown that in general people who have become paralyzed after an accident and people who have won the lottery do not score very different from everyone else when asked how happy their lives have been.

Life isn't as much what happens to you as it is more how you react to what happens.

Answer 10

You might have to go to a shelter until you can get on your feet again. I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Call the elec. company or the phone company, whoever is responsible for the pole, and getit fixed. work a second job, is that possible?