2006-08-17 05:34:54 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I got an invitation and it says please bring a side dish.
2006-08-17 05:36:46 · update #1
Its not pot luck, its a kids birthday party that you are expected to bring a gift to
2006-08-17 05:50:01 · update #2
Kid's FIRST birthday
2006-08-17 05:51:08 · update #3
I dont think its a BIG deal, I will probably bring something anyways, I just want to know if people will think its crappy if I put that on my kids first b-day party invites too.
2006-08-17 05:54:23 · update #4
Its for a cousin
2006-08-17 06:02:29 · update #5
sorry i keep adding, you all want details about it though. This "please bring a side dish" was put on all invitations, not just family. About 60-70 people were invited.
2006-08-17 06:03:35 · update #6
Im very close to the host. I would never ever say anything to her or anyone else about it. Thats why I like yahoo answers =)
2006-08-17 06:06:30 · update #7
One more thing - They are not poor!
2006-08-17 06:09:26 · update #8
I think it's fine if it's more a friends and family thing rather than inviting a bunch of kids from school or pre-school.
If you don't know the person you're inviting more than an acquaintance then you shouldn't ask them to bring anything.
most people when invited to a party or even just to someone's house for dinner will ask if they can bring anything....so the person that invited you to their party just cut out the question and basically said "yes you can bring something...a side dish"
EDITED TO ADD:
or maybe they're spending a big chunk of money on some good meat...
...or a bounce house
...or some other kind of entertainment
even if it's just for them to save money because they're short on it this month....how much are you going to spend on a side dish....$5? ...not even that much if you bring a pasta salad...that's super cheap to make. don't get down on the person having the party though....i think they just understand that kids like parties and instead of saying "nope kids we're not going to have a party this year"....they swallowed their pride and asked for help....that's hard to do you know.
EDITED TO ADD 2:
in society today everyone knows that we have such varying levels of income and I really don't think anyone should be offended. If they are....don't worry about it....that's their problem...but most people will just overlook it and either decide not to bring something or bring something anyway despite their personal opinions.
with your cousin's party, they probably figured family would be more willing to help out with food...and usually when family gets together....THEY EAT...so the family invited won't want for your cousin to pay for all the food they will consume and bring something.
reguardless....don't worry about it....include it on your invitations if you want to...don't worry about what anyone else thinks...the main thing is that you're even willing to have a party...some kids don't get parties because their parents are too afraid to ask for help with food and stuff like that.
SORRY SO LONG....I am planning a party for my son who is turning 1 this month and I know how much money it can cost...so this hits home with me.
2006-08-17 05:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by mistiaya 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Honestly....I wouldn't feel right in asking for people to bring a dish. A potluck is more appropriate for family gatherings or events with friends. If I received a birthday invitation with a request to bring food I might think it was a little bit rude. I have always provided food at my birthday parties. If you don't want to feed a whole bunch of people then you should have it after lunch and let people know to eat before hand by putting "Cake and Ice Cream Only" on the invite. That way you can avoid the situation all together.
2006-08-17 06:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brea1243 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone who said NO, get a thumbs down?!
They are right. Why would you bring a dish to a birthday party?! You should bring a gift for the kid yeah, that's proper etiquette.
And she said it's a birthday party, she didn't say it's a POTLUCK birthday party. POTLUCK is totally different.
2006-08-17 05:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is extremely tacky and definitely NOT proper etiquette. Who invites someone to a BIRTHDAY party and tells them to bring food? I wouldn't even bother going.
If you can't afford to throw a party on your own DON'T THROW A PARTY!! When you throw a party you are inviting people to your home and offering to host them for an evening or afternoon. It is NOT expected that people bring food, drinks, or other supplies unless it is billed as a "pot luck" or "BYOB". However, neither of these billings is appropriate for a child's bday party.
Plus, I find it so annoying when people throw these huge bashes for a first, second, or even third birthday. The kid isn't going to remember; it is all about affirmation for the parents. Also super tacky.
2006-08-17 06:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of that for a child's party. That is a bit tacky. Does this family maybe not have too much money?
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Well for those 2 people who gave a thumbs down to everyone who thought it is tacky, remember that most people think it is tacky. And, even though I never had a lot of money, I made due with what I had and never asked anyone to contribute a thing to any party that I threw. But maybe people need to learn to host within their means rather then trying to give their kids a huge bash that they can't afford and expect others to provide for. Besides, that's just setting the kid up to think that they should go beyond their means as well. If it's close friends and family, MAYBE that's a different story depending on the type of party. But parents of the child's friends should NOT be required to provide a side dish for a party that they were invited to attend, especially because they will probably spend a bit of money on a present.
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I apologize for adding a lot as well. I think, personally it was poor taste to ask everyone to bring something. If this person wanted to ask close friends and relatives that's fine as long as they are ok with it. But you said they are not poor, then I'm just curious why they would ask people to bring a dish? Is it because they didn't want to cook for everyone? A party that big I don't blame them but since they have the money they could have always gone to the local deli, gotten a few hero's and salads, serve them on paper plates and it would be a lot easier then having people bring dishes of food.
My personal opinion is that it is not in good taste unless the party is invited as a pot luck and then you really can't expect everyone to bring a present for the child. So you have to choose....a present for the child or food for the party. I would personally just get some pizza's or hero's and hope that my son gets lots of great gifts.
2006-08-17 05:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
No. It's not proper. If you're inviting someone to a party, they're the guests, and should not be expected to bring anything unless it's specifically mentioned that it's a potluck, OR the guest offers.
2006-08-17 07:24:39 · answer #6 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's appropriate. Most parties nowadays usually ask guests to bring a dish or two. But are you familiar with the children's parents? If not or just met, it's kind of weird.
2006-08-17 05:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What vulgar people they must be to ask one to bring a dish to a children's party. That like asking someone to bring table cloth, and knives and forks to the party. Sound like these people have no breeding or class.
2006-08-17 07:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is a birthday party . If it is then put some marshmallows and ketchup and honey into a bowl and take it. That is a childrens dish. Or maybe a bowl of cereal. That should do it for the host.
2006-08-17 05:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by TMAC 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's perfectly acceptable. Lots of people do it. It's not wrong to ask for a bit in return when you're providing a party for someone. Also it could be kinda fun to see what everyone brings.
2006-08-17 05:41:58 · answer #10 · answered by :) 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋