My Mom died in May. Can you believe?

Question

before she was even cold, still laying on the gurney, while my 5 sisters and I sat in the family room at the hospital, my youngest sister said, "You all know, Mom wanted me to have the house."

Answer 1

Wow...that's sad.

But surely her selfishness was evident before your mother death, right?

Answer 2

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have lost my Mother and I know the pain.
Things are said at times of extreme pain that would new be said otherwise. I'm not taking up for your sister. She may be a hard-callous person wo is a b***h. She may also be totally insecure and the house represents for her her only security.
Did your Mother leave a will? If so - follow the will to the "T". If not, all of your women have to get together and make decisions. My grandfather was a very smart man. When he died, everything money wise was to be split among the children equally. House sold - etc. After that, (3 kids), took a piece of paper and cut it up into pieces - numbering the pieces 1,2,3 and "put in a hat". Each kid drew a number, the oldest drew first and so on. In the order of the number drawn, that person was allowed to choose 1 item. That continued until everything was gone. It worked great for all of us. Maybe it would help you.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. Time does heal pain - but you never forget all the great things about you Mom.

Answer 3

Well, yes I can believe. The old saying is that all kinds of people crawl out of the woodwork looking for something after a person dies, although of course, your sister is not one falling into this descriptive category, I can see what you are saying.
People do strange things after a loved one has died. Many want to stake a claim right away to any inheritance there may be. Many like in your sister's case, may say things without realizing the harshness of what was said. I am sure she is sad over your mom's passing. But emotions are really confusing for all at this point and some just lose all logic and sensitivity in the interim. Maybe she was acutally feeling and thinking about mom in this way: that she was always thinking about little sister, always protecting her, and would often talk about such things as who she would want to take , let's say, her cat if anything ever happened to her, or take the house because she knew that one of her children would not have a place to live and she wouldn't want to worry about it. I think if your mom said this, it's because sister is the youngest and sister was probably thinking about the protective words and desires of your mom, but it came out wrong. Instead of saying, "Mom was always thinking about me, and wanting to take care of me, to the point she said she wanted me to have the house. I really love her and will miss her so much. Who's going to be there for me." Well, it came out simply ; Mom wanted me to have the house.
Bear with it and open your hearts to each other in such a time of need and loss. Don't give in to animosity over words. Your mom would want you all to stick together, no matter what and love and understand one another. Don't be picky, and maybe someday down the road, you will be able to mention this to little sister without any bitterness over the words, and she will be able to explain why she said it. Or maybe she'll have even memory loss as to ever saying that. Sometimes we become simple robots upon the death of a loved one, and don't even know what we are saying.
At least for now, try letting this happen and let's see down the road what it all meant. Okay??
Be strong and be loving.

Answer 4

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. It is so sad when family fights over belongings of a deceased loved one, but it happens so much it is unbelievable.

Your sister may not have meant the statement to come out the way you took it, although it was way to soon to say anything about belongings. Some people in times of turmoil or grief Open their mouth and insert their foot.

I hope you to can resolve your differences and have everything else resolved so you all can move past this and continue with your life.

Good luck

Answer 5

I can't stand people like your younger sister. All they think about is me me me. That was not the time or place for that and beside the house belongs to all of you. My mom is from a large family and my uncle just moved into my grandmother house when she passed away and basically he didn't take care of it. He lived there for 10 years and the house looked bad. I know my grandma would be turning in her grave if she knew how that house looked. Well they end up selling the house, didn't get much money because of the way it looked. People were mad at him because he just moved in and he should have taken care of it.

Answer 6

Benn there. My mom dies in May 2005 and my sister felt that since she took care on my mom for 2 months (and pretty much drove her to the grave) that she should get everything. I am so glad my mom had a will. But it has caused a lot of problems in the family. All you can do is what your mother would have wanted and try to split things equally.

Answer 7

I am sorry that your sister said that. That is not right and she should have been more considerate of everyone else. i would not jsut give it to her on her word though, I would want proof, and if she does not have it, then sell the house and split the money 5 ways after all your moms bills are paid. I know how it is to loose your mom, and it is very hard. Good Luck to you

Answer 8

girl chill out. this is no time to judge your sisters. you all need to stay together. why dont you all stay in the same house? if thats not possible then why dont you sell it? and split the money between you all. dont let something get in the way of your relationship. now is the time to stay together and have support from one another. your sister must of been really upset and sad that your mother passed away. and she must of acted out too fast. dont be upset with her. you all agree to sell the house and that would be best. if not then you all can see who needs a house more then the other one.

Answer 9

It doesn't surprise me. People are so careless these days it is a trip. Just have your p's and q's together, and the rest of you and your family, pray and do things the right way. If your mom has a will go by that instead.

Answer 10

How is that sister at other times? Is she usually selfish and materialistic? Sometimes people say odd things when they are under extreme stress; if this isn't her usual personality, let it go.

Things will probably be settled legally eventually anyway... so for your own health and peace of mind, let it go then too!

Answer 11

You are hurt obviously by this.Take this as a lesson.I feel sad after reading this.Time will speak for itself.Take steps and talk only when you have to reach a decision.