I am a single mother with 3 kids ( love them to death). I have had 5 partners my whole life and I am in my late 20's My first child is by my use to be best friend. My second child is by a man that I was with for over 10 years ( abusive relationship) and I just had a child by a man who I have been with for over a year. I love this man in a way that I can't explain. We plain on being a family. I have a good job, a house, a nice truck, am able to spoil my kids to death, go to church almost every Sunday. I try to live right and consider myself a nice person. I feel bad sometimes because my kids have different fathers. I would have loved to get married and than have kids but it did not turn out that way. I used protection during the conception of each child except the last one. My last child's father is currently in jail for selling drugs (I am drug free). I want this to work , but I can't be with him if he does not change his life. Will I have a chance to be happy?
2006-08-17 05:13:56 · 13 answers · asked by star 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd say give him a chance when he comes back from jail, but keep an eye on him. If you want to lead a good life, like you said, you can't be doing that off drug money, or spending it on drugs. Do you want your kids to grow up around drugs and maybe get hooked themselves ("Wow, daddy seems to like it, so I should try it!").
Having three kids by three different men doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother. Letting your kids hang around drug dealers and addicts does. They should be your priority. If he looks like he's dealing again (or taking any himself) you need to get rid of him for the sake of your children, even if that makes you miserable.
Good luck and stay strong!
2006-08-17 05:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always the chance for happiness but you have to make smart life decisions along the way. Why were you involved with someone who sells drugs? You may not find happiness with this dude because he is definetly NOT the type you should have around your kids. You just need to think about what you do before you do. I have 4 kids by 2 guys and honey you dont owe anyone an explanation regarding how many kids or how many baby daddies you have as long as YOU are taking care of YOUR children it's all good. I wish you well because I had 3 kids by the time I was 23 and had a 4th kid at 30 and I too have handled my business well...WITHOUT babies daddies in the way and the one thing I can say that have kept me sane and doing well is really thinking before leaping and putting me and the welfare of my children FIRST. My kids have NEVER seen or known me to be with any man but their fathers. I have NEVER had guys over to my house...its all about smart thinking. Be well and good luck.
2006-08-17 05:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad that the children all have different fathers. It sounds to me like you did really well with raising and providing well for them. As for your current partner and finding happiness with him, that's a very iffy question. You have to think of you and your children's happiness and well being first. Has this guy been busted before for selling drugs? As far as you know, did he ever have drugs in his procession while with you. If you answered yes to this, then no matter how happy you are with him, this is not good for your future. Have you talked about what he'll be doing work wise when he's released? Sometimes we are drawn to the wrong one even though it feels right. Also if this is not the first time he's been arrested for selling drugs chances are it'll happen again. One more thing, do the children know that he was arrested and if so do they know why and what are their thoughts. Just afew things for you to consider. I think I have gone on to long already. The best to you in whatever you decide to do.
2006-08-17 05:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by whtecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Stay away from all of these men! Put your children first! When this man gets out of jail, do you want your children around drug addicts? You seem to be doing fine on your own. Keep up the good work! Maybe one day you'll find a man who truly respects you, and will care for your children as well. Maybe someone you'll meet at church...
2006-08-17 05:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure... many men will welcome the opportunity to raise another mans children. I say move on from the last man tho, If he is bad now, and you are an independant woman, He will just get worse. Dont stay with him, You dont want your kids around that. Since you go to church, why dont you check out the other men in your church... or check out www.myspace.com You can search locally for guys and post an about me about having 3 kids and searching for Mr right. Good luck sweets.
2006-08-17 05:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't change can you honestly see yourself happy? I don't think you could and you have to think about your children 1st and foremost. I know that you love this man but if he is into drugs then how safe are your children? You don't need a drug dealer as a father for your children because thats a nasty habit they could one day pick up on. Then you would be in real trouble. Pray about it and ask God to direct your path trust me HE will not steer you wrong. HE wants us to be happy but HE doesn't want us with just any old junk. Think about your kids 1st because they are whats important. Bless you and I'm gonna pray for you and your family.
2006-08-17 05:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you will but honestly you should leave the guy that is in jail. If you stay with him he will think that is "okay" to be a druggy and that you have accepted it. Even if you do fight about it he will still do what he wants. My suggestion is to go to church and meet someone. You didnt work so hard to have it all taken away. If he doesnt stop what happens if he borrows your truck and he gets stop one night they find drugs in your truck...then it gets inbounded and thats it. What about your house and other things that you have worked so hard for. I would say get rid of him. I know its harder to do then just saying it, but if he cares then he will stop the drugs and if he doesnt then you need to stop seeing him. Cause you and your children deserve what you worked so hard to get.
2006-08-17 05:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
welll im pretty sure that your kids would like for you to settle down to but things really dont seem to work for you. maybe you should should stop having kids(not that its bad) and start to look for the right guy instead like do you have a guy best friend or you can just think of a guy you know im pretty sure some guy out there would want to go out with you. so go ahead and give it a shot
2006-08-17 05:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by iLoVe HoRsEs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you pick some winners, sorry. tell him that you want what is best for the kids and that is a strong house with Mother and father every thou they are from other dads,
2006-08-17 05:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by IndyMM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you might wanna try not spreading your legs everytime the circus comes to town. will you get a chance to be happy? sure the same chances everybody else does and they are slim and none
2006-08-17 05:22:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋