How do I politely get a christian at work to stop trying to convert me?

Question

There is a lady where I work who is a christian and found out that I'm a homosexual and an atheist. She has quite literally and openly stated that she considers it her personal calling from God to try to save me. I have tried to explain to her that this is unwelcome and unprofessional, rather politely. My bosses have told me to try to blow it off because where I live, being atheist and homosexual is valid grounds for termination (it is considered to contribute to a hostile work place to be so far from the norm). A lawyer I spoke with even told me that I should do my best to ignore it since we would not win in this state (the jury would be stacked against a homosexual atheist). Is there anything more that I can do POLITELY to get her off my case? Giving in is not an option, I am as certain of my beliefs as she is of hers, I've been a Christian before and I don't see myself going back anytime in the foreseeable future.

For those recommending human resources -- They've told me that I'd lose the fight since I am the one "creating the hostile workplace by being a deviation from the norm of the office"

More info: Unfortunately, the state I work in does not require employers to state or give a reason for termination. This is what is called a 'right to work' state, which in essence means, 'work is a priviledge, not a right'. They could cut me a pink slip and never have to answer for why. If they were forced to, they could say simply that I made someone uncomfortable and they'd be in the clear.

I wish I could be more comfortable about being specific about what state, but I'm still a little concerned about that.

Jimbob, Issy:

The problem is she will stop me while I am trying to do my job to talk. I tell her I'm busy, she gets angry with me that I don't have time to talk about my beliefs. The conversation is wholely inappropriate in the workplace anyways. Freedom of speech works two ways -- she has the right to speak her mind, sure, but I have the right to speak mine by ignoring her and focusing on my work. Yet she insists on interrupting my ability to do that.

I forgot to mention, the lady found out about my sexual and religious leanings by listening in to a conversation outside of work that was not hers to have been listening into in the first place. I do not discuss politics, religion, money, or sex in polite company for exactly this reason.

Answer 1

Tell her that you respect her opinion, but at this time, it's inconceivable for you to convert, and you'd prefer not to talk about it. Then tell her that if you ever change your mind, YOU will go to HER, but until such a time, if it ever comes, you would prefer not to discuss it at all.
If she starts up again, tell her you know that she's concerned for you (because that's why she's doing it!), but you feel disrespected when she tries to force you to see it her way.
If it continues after that, definitely report her for harassment.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Let me first clarify that I'm an Evangelical Christian; it sounds as if this lady is, also.

The best thing you could do in this situation would be to take her to a private place, where there will be no interruptions.

First, thank her for her deep concern for you; she's probably honestly trying to help. Then, explain to her that only the Holy Spirit -- not a human -- is capable of saving a human being. (We Christians forget this all too often, thinking that a person "should be" saved and we can do it. This is actually a blasphemy.) The fact that she's decided to witness to you does not necessarily mean the Holy Spirit wishes her to do so -- but then again, maybe it does. Neither of you know whether He is, or is not, calling you through this woman. Tell her that if you ever have any questions about God, you'll come to her (and mean it!) But, in the meantime, you're "counting the cost" of this whole matter; if she knows anything about scripture, she'll know this is her signal to back off.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Tell her that there is supposed to be separation of church and state (even though the lines blur) and that it isn't acceptable for her to force her beliefs on you at work. There is a document called the Constitution that she might want to review. Next time she does this, tell her it is your personal calling to try to save her from being a preaching fanatic. Otherwise, just ignore her. I understand where you are coming from-sometimes these workplace battles are so bad that it is better to find other work. I hope this doesn't happen to you. Unfortunately, with the atmosphere you have described, it seems that your behavior will be looked at more closely than hers. Not fair, but sounds like that might happen. If she says anything in a public place, in front of others, document the time and place and witnesses to the comments. If she asks any questions, say, "Why do you want to know?" and go back to work. Don't respond to her diatribes. Give them no fodder for the office mill. Do your job, and do it well-that will speak volumes for you both to your co-workers and managers, especially at review time.

Answer 4

First, thank her for her deep concern for you; she's probably honestly trying to help. Then, explain to her that only the Holy Spirit -- not a human -- is capable of saving a human being. (We Christians forget this all too often, thinking that a person "should be" saved and we can do it. This is actually a blasphemy.) The fact that she's decided to witness to you does not necessarily mean the Holy Spirit wishes her to do so -- but then again, maybe it does. Neither of you know whether He is, or is not, calling you through this woman. Tell her that if you ever have any questions about God, you'll come to her (and mean it!) But, in the meantime, you're "counting the cost" of this whole matter; if she knows anything about scripture, she'll know this is her signal to back off.

Answer 5

I am very sorry that you are having this dilemma. It is unfair for someone to treat you as if you are on the high road to Hell, because you are not following their lifestyle. I would tell her that you appreciate that she cares so much for you, but that you are not comfortable talking about such serious personal matters at work. It sounds like you have already tried just about everything and still be polite. You may have to drop that and just be a little short with her. I don't know the extent of your working relationship, so even that may be out of the question. I guess I really don't have much of an answer for you. I do want to commend you though, because you are taking this all very well. I sincerely hope that this situation clears up for you and very soon.

Answer 6

Tell her that she cannot "save" you. Only Jesus can do that. It may be her 'calling' to tell you about God, but she cannot save you. You can also turn the tables on her. Tell her you feel it is your 'calling' to convert her. Tell her that you know a woman who would be very interested in having a relationship with her and you would be happy to introduce them. I am a Christian and have a calling to tell others about God. But telling and trying to cram it down someones throat are different. I don't know where you work, but there seems to be a problem in the authority there if they can't stop the harassment. Maybe you need to go higher up the ladder for help. Being atheist or homosexual should not be valid grounds for dismissal in any work force. It falls into the category of discrimination. Check out the link below. Hope this helps. And no harassment intended, but God loves you and I will keep you in prayer.

Answer 7

I take it you must live in one of the "red" states. What a bummer! It's also ridiculous that you can be fired based on your religion (or lack thereof) or your sexual preference. To me, it sounds like your employer has some serious issues, not you. As far as your co-worker is concerned, she doesn't sound like much of a Christian to me. "As we judge others, so we will be judged" (from the Book of Matthew)". And as I recall, there's a story in the Christian bible where Jesus stopped a crowd of people from stoning a woman who was an adulteress by saying that he who is without sin should be the first to cast a stone. When your "Christian" co-worker is equal to God and/or Christ, that's when she's in a position to judge you.

Truthfully, if I were you, I'd think about looking for a different job. It sounds like you're in a hostile work environment. Try to find something with a big Fortune 500 company that can't get away with that kind of discrimination.

Good luck!

Answer 8

JP, I have the solution. In the very manner that you ask to resolve this issue, you can.

Ask to sit with her for a moment in private. Remain in a gentle respectable manner at all times.

Calmly tell her that you respect her passion for Christ and her ministry. Assure her that you don't have anything personal against her, but you need her to stop pushing her religion on you NOW!

You are an adult and have heard all that she has to say, but it is not her responsibility to convert you. You will consider the facts that she has shared in the past, but it must stop this very minute.

Assure her that her approach was so aggressive that it has hurt the Christian population as a whole. It was the pushing that have caused you to resist more than anything. So, look her in the eye and insist that she never bring it up again in the workplace.

If she doesn't comply, send her to me. I would be happy to discuss her inappropriate behavior and tactics.

Answer 9

If you're up to it, you could try a major fake out on the lady. Get her convinced that you've not only converted, but you've become an astonishing zealot. Get real literal about the Bible when you talk to her. Make her think that she herself is not nearly religious enough for the likes of you. Explain that you see now that public stonings and the torture and killing of divorced women is the order of the day. Be more religious than even she can handle. Pull this off for a week and I will give you odds she stops bugging you.

All it would take is a little sit down with the Bible for a day or two, finding extreme positions (never very hard to do); then use those as your talking points. Who knows, you might accomplish two things: getting her off your back, and making her nervous about some of her own beliefs.

This approach has worked for me, and depending on whether you enjoy acting, can be fun.

Answer 10

Hi...

I am a Christian. I would certainly prefer that you hadn't made these choices (Atheism, Homosexuality). However, as a Christian I am also called to respect your wishes as a fellow human being. She may have been "called" to witness to you. It is the duty of all Christians to SHOW you the way to Christ...not to DEMAND that you accept Him.

I am unsure of where you work and how your choices would be grounds for termination. If you're in the USA, you definitely are in the right here.

So...in closing, let me be clear. I am supposed to show you the way. Once you ask me to cease that effort, I should only mirror Christ's love to you from that point on and make sure my walk matches up with my talk.

Hope that helps! Prayers coming your way, simply to help you deal with this situation. Curious how this turns out...let us know.

Answer 11

What she's (allegedly) doing is illegal and non-Christian. Politely tell her that you are offended by her antics and if she doesn't stop you'll report her to the supervisor. (Or Human Resources).

edit:
Okay, I get it!!
You're just making up some fantasy scenario to rake-muck on Yahoo Answers.
If Human Resources took the position you allege the company for whom you supposedly work would be federally liable.
If what you claim to have occurred has really happened and you felt you could better serve your own interests by posting a "question" on the Internet rather than seek professional legal counsel then you are probably exactly what the imaginary HR rep said you are.
Get a life!
And if by some incredible happenstance what you allege is true, then contact the ACLU.