Ealier I asked a Q, about a man who's done the dissapearing act on me, This is not the first nor the second time this happens to me. What am I doing wrong.I believe I'm a nice sweet person, adventerous, and very impulsive and spontanious. Do like attention thou, So if I have to I can cal my men 20 times a day. I've got a demanding JoB, yet I make time.
Why do they just stop calling. What am I doing wrong???
2006-08-17 04:50:29 · 19 answers · asked by blue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you serious? Do you really really call a person 20 times a day? WOW!!!!
Ummmm... Get it together.. That's not attractive or desirable in a woman or man. It's .... it's almost borderline STALKER behavior.
You stated you like attention. While a certain amount of attention is OK and desirable... too much can prompt people to want to RUN away from a person. Words like... NEEDY.. DRAMA... OVERBEARING...
C0-DEPENDANT..CLINGY... and HIGH MAINTENANCE. will immediately come to minds of most men who deal with you. Truth be told... no one wants to deal with anyone (boss, mother, co-worker, sister, friends) who have that issue. It's just not cool.
So.. that should answer your question about... "What am I doing wrong"
Work that out with a quickness, get some therapy to find out why you have need for attention. Was something lacking from your childhood? Did your father leave you when you were young? Do you have a fear of being left alone? Not sure but you need to check that behavior.
Work it out... Wow!
2006-08-17 05:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first off, you are probably pushing them away if you have to call them 20 times a day. I mean some men just want some chill time to hang out and it might be a good time for you to do the same. On the other hand, they are just not the right guy for you. Don't give up though, you will find that one and only guy who wants nothing more than to be with you. Keep your head up, and take this time to focus on yourself so that you can get your mind right, and before you know it, he will be there in your face with a smile. :)
2006-08-17 12:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your asking so I am telling you what I am getting. You are over possive...I would drop a friend much less a boyfriend that called that much. I mean let someone breathe already. You sound like you do like to have fun but at the same time a little self center aka "i like attention"
Your smothering them honey that is the bottom line. If your working a lot but calling and dicating stuff to them they will be gone like the wind. Try getting a little more self reliant and trusting and make them call you...guys love the hard to get women.
2006-08-17 11:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by MaryJaneD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well calling them like 20 X's a day don't u think that is alil too much?? But maybe it's not u. But if u think about it if u hav had lets say more than 5 boyfrienz in 3 months it might be you also. so maybe u could start calln ur mann maybe a lil' less each day untill u call him like only 2 times a day...
2006-08-17 12:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hello, you said the issue in your question..you call them 20 times a day. Guys DO NOT like that! AT ALL! It makes them feel like you're trying to control their every move. One call a day is sufficient, if you're not going to see him that day.
2006-08-17 12:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never call a guy 20 times a day. That'll scare them away. Guys don't like to feel suffocated.
2006-08-17 11:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Cina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I am sorry to tell you this, but most men do not like aggresive or demanding women. Men like to feel like they are men. In other words most like to do the pursueing in a budding relationship, and not feel like the prey. All this calling is going to turn off 99% of men. I think you are most likely a very sweet and nice person. However, it would behoove you to take a real honest look at your behavorial patterns in budding relationships. Take out a notebook and look back at the last three men whom you dated. Write down how many times you called them a day, if you left messages on their cell or home phones and how many times daily, if you are typically pushing fun activities without waiting for the guy to come up with something to do, if you jump into telling a lot of personal information right off, or if you wait and bring this stuff up in small bits and pieces at a time. It can be off putting for a guy to have a girl do what guys call "Emotional barfing". It just is uncomfortable for them. They also feel put on the spot to talk about their own stuff too soon. Just take into account how different guys are to women. They like less emotional stuff and more physical stuff. While they will discuss emotional things, it is not something they feel comfortable doing too soon. Also, do you allow the guys to talk about themselves? By this I am not referring to emotional stuff or their life history, but their jobs, what they like to do for fun, etc. Guys like to talk about this type of stuff, show off how talented they are. If a woman is not able to listen to this boring stuff, it is as obvious to the guy, as it is obvious to a girl that guys don't like all the fluff stuff.
I do not mean to discourage you, just to get you thinking about what guys find more attractive and what is basically off putting to them. The biggest issue is the constant calling and giving them a feeling of being pursued. This will always turn a guy off. 95% of guys like to be the one doing the pursueing. Not being the pursued.
Listen, go to this website:
http://www.ivillage.com
Go to the video section and click on the link for relationships, then on "What guys won't tell you, but what women need to know" or some such wording. It is a series of short video clips talking about all types of issues and how men look at things. It is really a nice informational site. There are great articles as well, and other things such as a message board. I really like this site. Then go to:
http://www.tickle.com
This site has lots of tests a person can take which will give a lot of insight into personality, IQ both intelligence and emotional, and many other tests which a person can use in finding what their streangths, weaknesses, and other great details which can be utilized in all types of relationships, professional and personal. I think this is a great tool for anyone and just plain fun as well.
I wish you much happiness and success in future relationships and in your life in general. Blessed Be.
2006-08-17 12:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because if you give them too much of you they get bored. Give them space! Guys have to breath in something aside from their girlfriends! You want them to be crazy about you? Then let them do the persuing of you, and you stop calling them up (Sure do it from time to time, but give them a chance to do it back).
2006-08-17 11:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
calling 20 times a day is probably not good ...try playing hard to get men love that
2006-08-17 12:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by sexyandsingle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No enough detail to really answer your question, but men do not like to feel smothered.......nor neglected it's a delicate balance.
2006-08-17 11:58:32 · answer #10 · answered by cub6ib9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋