What can I do so that my mother will let me see my son? ?

Question

My family and I have been fighting since I was 15 years old. Now I am 22 and my mother has done the ultimate. When I was 18 I had my son who is now fixing to be 4. I started dating an older guy when I was 19 and they didn't approve of my "lifestyle" so after various attempts to kick me and my son out, they finally got what they wanted... him. I had never had to take care of myself much less take care of both of us. They always told me that if I 'got my **** together' they would let me have him. So I went off and started working, i had a nice place to stay, money, a job. . .everthing they told me to do, I did. then when it come time for me to get my son they say. . . .basically, its too late. . .2 months was too late so they decide they wanted to adopt him and told me i could willing sign him over and still be in his life or 'do this the hard way' and they take him and i never see him. . so i did what i thought was best, not knowing my parents would screw me and my child. . .

they adopted him and everthing was going great i would go stay with him every weekend and sometimes go stay all week with him. . . In all of this I had started dating this guy a year ago, and they knew about it. . .he is black, and that is not acceptable in my family, but everything remained fine. . .then a month ago my mother finds out i am pregnant by him and she flips out and takes my car (which i have made ever payment on, on time by the way) and my precious little boy away from me, i can't talk to him, i can't see him, they blocked my phone number....the whole nine yards . . and i can't understand it for the life of me. . . how can i make her understand that this is not about her and her feelings, its about my son!! I can't keep going on without him, i cry every morning and every night . . i want him to be apart of my pregnancy and i want him to know his brother or sister . . . I desperatly want my baby back and will do anything . . . Please help!!!!

they tricked me into letting them adopt him. . .they said that they only needed to adopt him so that they could get insurance and stuff on him . . .they always said that as long as i did nothing to harm him they would NEVER stop me from seeing him. . . i did talk to a lawyer about the adoption and they said there is absolutly nothing i can do . . .they have to sign him back to me, when they felt the time was right. . . I know i made the biggest mistake of my life and i know now that i had more options then. . .they just didn't want me to know about them . . . and to top it all off. . . they used MY lawyer that i had used against my husband for custody in our divorce . . (they paid him to sign his son over so i get absolutly no help there)

Answer 1

I don't understand. Did you let them adopt him? If so how long has it been? There is a period of time that you can change your mind.

Answer 2

Ummm. The first thing you must do is contact an attorney in your state. This is a complicated legal matter to say the least. It is my understanding the since you were of legal age when you signed the adoption papers, that the adoption may have been fully legitimate. However, on the other hand, you might have been under undue hardship and duress with undue influence as well when signing these papers and that may leave a legal loophole to reopen and begin a suit.
Either way, in many states a verbal agreement is a legally binding contract. The actual actions of the parties would also help determine what was the norm, for this agreement. Example is that you visited him, stayed with him, for x amount of time, per the agreement and now because they disaprove of your choice of partners they have broken the "contract".
At the very least, with past actions, you would probably regain visitation of the child. Remember, it is always determined by the court as to what the "best interest of the child is." If he knows you are mom, and you have a good relationship with him, you are not abusive, negligent and the like, chances are, you would stand a good chance of a lot of things.
I realize money is important here. But I would definetly talk to an Attorney, most will give you a free consultation and take it from there.
This is indeed sad for the child and for the unborn child. It would be the same as your having the child back with you and your refusing to allow the grandparents to continue a relationship with him after so many years. What kind of messages is this sending out to the child? Not good, not good. YOU MUST SEE AN ATTORNEY and take action on this. Maybe this new guy you are with will help with the money to retain an attorney. Either way, you must talk to an Attorney and show him any records you have, of the adoption, any written agreements, and any proof of the relationship between your child and yourself to date. You might also ask him in the end about the car. If you can prove you have paid as agreed, they may be forced to turn this car over or reimburse your money. Again, it depends on your state as to what constitues a contract, verbal or otherwise. Good luck........and take action.

Answer 3

well, if you are the legal guardian right now then they have no right to take the child away from you unless they can prove that you have an unstable lifestyle and that you cannot care for a child. if you want to keep your son, don't sign ANYTHING. get a lawyer, i know they are expensive, but if you really want your son, the money will come from somewhere. You placed the child in their care until you could get your life straightened out. if you do not have any problems that would inhibit the wellfare of the child, (and no,
] just because they have a higher income does NOT mean they are better for the child) then you have full rights to come and take the child anytime that you want. good luck, i hope you get your son back.

ok, now i further understand the matter from the additional post, since you have let them adopt the child, you can legally go after them to get visitation rights. if everything goes well, you might be able to try and get further custody.and about them taking your car, you are an adult...if they take something that is rightfully yours (unless they have co-signed) they don't have rights to take the car.about going out with a black guy, i fully understand what you are going through. when i had just turned 15 i got pregnant with my daughter from a black guy who was (more than a few) years older than me. furthermore my grandparents are totally racist. they would only talk to me if it had to do with Elena. i had to talk to them about my boyfriend later and tell them that even though he was black he was an upstanding citizen who had no criminal record and had cared for elena just like a father would. it took some time but they do treat him a bit better now. it might help if you do something like that. and for god's sake try not to yell. that never goes well. and it prevents your parents from seeing that you are mature and responsible enough to care for your son.

Answer 4

Get over your tears, go to the court house! Get a lawyer and fight for your son! You should of never let him go in the first place, when you left you should of took him with you! Where I go my kids go and I had my first at 15. So that is know excuse. A the worst a shelter would of help the two of you to get what you need! Take your checks and whatever to court for the car to show you pay the payments, at the least you may have to pay you back for the payments you made if they keep the car. Girl get your **** together you have a long road ahead. Please don't let it stress you to much to affect this pregnancy. Stay strong! Fight this to the end. Good luck! Remember he is YOUR son first! The court will look at that!

Answer 5

You should have never signed anything.
You will now have to get an attorney and fight for your son.
Usually the courts will side with the biological mother if you can prove that you can provide for you and your son.
I suggest you buy a tape recorder and put it in your pocket and talk to your parents and find out why they are doing this. If all they can say is we want your son then they dont have s**t.
Try to get them on tape being mean or ugly to you about the situation.
Taping someone is not illegal as long as one of the parties knows they are being taped and you are one of parties.
This worked for me in a custody fight.
Everytime i spoke to my ex i had to recorder going. They will usually slip up and say something and BAM you got them.
Talk about the promise they made that you would still get to see him and be apart of his life if you signed the adoption papers and how now they are keeping him from you.
Once a judge hears how they screwed and fooled you into signing your son away i promise you will get the adoption overturned and then you can leave with your son and not let them see him.

Answer 6

You could possibly challange the "adoption" based on the fact that you were "coerced" into the deal and/or agreed to it "under duress" and that they made false representations about you still being in his life. Check with an attorney. Find one that will give you a free consultation. You may have a good case against them to get him back, or at least have visitation. Don't give up and if you're not successful now keep track of him and tell him what happened when he's old enough to understand .

Answer 7

Bottom line, you're his mother and if you want him back, get off Yahoo and into an attorney's office. Get your affairs in order and if you're serious about the guy you're having the baby with, your situation looks better if you guys get married. If you can prove to the judge that you can provide a healthy stable environment for your son, you will get him back. Most courts favor the mother if there's no abuse, drugs,etc involved. My mom tried the same thing with my son. I was 21, working two jobs and at first she would babysit to save me money, then she completely took over. He started forgetting who his mom was and that was when I had to stop her. I had to get some state help for a while but you better believe it was worth it to keep my little boy. If you have to fight, fight. At least he'll know you didn't just give him away and in the end he'll resent her not you.

Answer 8

I am not sure I understand this whole complicated story. It seems, however, that you lost custody of your son and, now that you have your life together, you'd like to have visitation with him (or custody of him?). You need to get an attorney to help you. If you don't have enough money for a private attorney, go get some legal aid. Look in the county phone book for free legal help and go ask the questions there. They will tell you what you can do. It seems to me that unless you signed over custody to your parents already, you should be able to see your child. Even if you signed him over legally, you should be able to have some sort of contact with him because he would now legally be your brother! See an attorney and tell him/her your story.

Answer 9

It sounds to me like your parents are very controlling and used your confusion to their advantage. You said they took your car, am I to understand that the car is in their name and you're making payments? If it's in YOUR name, you should report the vehicle stolen, then let your parents explain why THEY have the vehicle. Because you agreed and signed those papers, there's really nothing you can do to get him back. The sad thing is what they're doing to your child....he needs his mother even if her lifestyle does not agree with someone else....as long as he's not in any danger, they should have just "helped" you, not screw you.

Answer 10

Once you can prove that you are now in a position to emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually care for your child you can now legally fight for your son.

You can find out from a lawyer how iron clad your parents' adoption agreement is and how you can get out of it now that you are able to care for ur son.

Before you do this however, make sure that ur bf is okay with his being responsible for ur son as well as ur son being comfortable with the change.

Answer 11

number one I think you should have a sit down with your parents explaining your position and be willing to hear theirs .if that fails you need to see an attorney(that specialises in child custody and placement) before you do anything else.you DO have certain rights as a parent but you really need to have a professional attorney help you before you sign away all your rights