How do I tell her? She's younger than me and he already tells her comparisons to me.He trys to tell me I'm not happy with my marriage I tell him I love my husband and no one or nothing can come between us. If I tell my husband he'll hurt him. If I tell my sister she'll be hurt. What should I do?
2006-08-17 03:56:36 · 55 answers · asked by nikb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
will she be more hurt knowing know or knowing later that you hid it from her for all those years, and she could have had a chance to find a better man instead of waste 10 or 15 years with a guy who gave her 3 STDs?
you decide
2006-08-17 04:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by corwinnn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, only you know how your sister will react. If there's a way for you to tell her without becoming the bad guy, then tell her. In this situation it's very sticky because a woman always always wants to believe her man is faithful no matter what. What happens when you tell her and she blames you? You break up her home and then go back to your own when your husband gets back and she's alone. And as much as you want to hope the sisterly bond is enough to make her believe you, remember he's the man she loves and sleeps with every day. He's already in her head. Do what I did, I told my mother and father and they sat him down and had a little talk with him. (I think my dad was showing him what a 357 Mag does to flesh or something like that). Anyway, your sister needs to know what kind of hound she's dealing with so tell her but have some back up for yourself and be ready to comfort her. It's better to get her out now than to wait until the creep gets someone else knocked up or worse, gives her something she'll never get rid of.
2006-08-17 04:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your sister is very important. That boyfriend will probably be out of her life some day because he's a cheating jerk. You will be there forever.
So, bake her some cookies. Make some tea. Sit down at the kitchen table and just tell her 1) you love her, 2) her boyfriend hits on you, 3) you're telling her because you love her, and 4) you will be sisters forever.
BTW, as long as your husband doesn't injure him seriously, a couple of kicks in the you-know-whats might be useful. He'd get out of your sister's life and let her find someone who loves and respects her -- like she deserves.
2006-08-17 04:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy answer. Tell him to stop. Tell your sister. Go stay at your own house. And tell your husband ASAP. Your sister may get mad and may not believe you, but if he is like this with you it won't be long until he finds someone who will accept his advances and your sister will know that you told her the truth. Don't give her any "I told you so's". Just be there for her and understand that she will need you. Don't ask your husband to leave it alone either. He has a right to confront(in a civilized manner) this man. After all, he is trying to be a part of your family, he deserves the right to express himself.
2006-08-17 04:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to let that guy keep being around your sis you already know how he is what if he doing it some where else and bring some kind of diease and gives it to your sis think about how you aredy hurting her with out tell her the kind of guy she living with. And if i was you i would get my own place and wait for my husband there also tell him other wise he would here somewhere else and make thing up you dont want that right tell him, a good relationship is having honesty. Think twice before letting it get forther.
2006-08-17 04:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by chaparra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll need to tell your sister. If the guy is low enough to hit on his girlfriend's sister, then he's probably hitting on LOTS of other girls. Wouldn't you want to know, if the shoe was on the other foot? I know it will be difficult, but it's the right thing to do. You can't make your choice based on the reaction of any of them: sister, boyfriend, your husband. That would be manipulation. You can't be held responsible for the actions of others, UNLESS you have manipulated them. Just be honest and up front. Then you can live with your own conscious, knowing you came clean with them all.
2006-08-17 04:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to your sister to tell her. Would you want her to marry this guy knowing that he was always screwing around behind her back? Would you want her to tell you if she knew your husband was doing the same thing? I will guarantee that if you do not tell her and she finds out later that you knew, it will destroy your relationship with her. A caution....it will not be pretty, but int he long run you should do what is right. I think the only reaosn you would not tell her is if in fact your are having some inner thoughts about actually messing around with him. If you are true about what you have said then tell her....
2006-08-17 04:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by rando_59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont you love how some of the men give answers about doing him and not saying anything. Shows you where their brains are. Tell your sister!!!!!!!!!. Let there be no secrets between you! Put it all on the table and let him defend his actions.........which he wont be able to. Tell your husband.........sounds like he needs to be hurt.....just a little!! LOL In the long run.......you are looking out for your sister........that is most important!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-18 06:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ambervisions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would want someone to tell me if my man was doing this with another woman behind my back. She needs to know. I would let her know that I was moving back home and that was the reason that I was going.
Put your self in her place, what would YOU want to happen? Say your sister was staying with you and your husband while her husband was gone and it was your husband putting the moves on her while you were gone. How would you want it handled? Personally, I would want to know.
But at the same time, you do need to go back home to get away from him.
2006-08-17 04:12:48 · answer #9 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that your not interested and if he makes a pass at you again... You will have to tell your husband......
If he is hitting on you then what is going to stop him from hitting on other women....
I would just get a video camera and hide it and video tape it.. this way you have proof when you tell your sister what is going on..... and you will have the proof.... which he cannot then deny.........
Otherwise your sister may feel hurt or not believe what you have to say, that or make yourself not available why your sister is not also around.... or find another place to stay...
Good luck!!!!!!
2006-08-17 04:12:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your sis, yes she will be hurt but its better for her to know now that hes that kind of person then for her to find out later when shes more attached to him.
I guess i would use a round about way of telling her by saying does he always do this to everyone?? and tell her what hes been doing to you. depending on how close you are she may not believe you or she may think your provokeing him to do it..but still in all hes doing it and it must come to a stop! chances are if hes hittin on you there are others as well. If it were me in her position i would kick his *** the the curb if i found out my boyfriend did that ****.
2006-08-17 04:08:08 · answer #11 · answered by tess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋