I'm 22 how many people is "TOO" many to have slept with...If I have slept with a lot does that make me a slut?

Question

When I was younger I was a lot more easy than I am now...A lot has changed and I've realized that when a guy sleeps with you it doesnt always mean he wants to be with you....Is it wrong for me to lie to people and not tell them how many i've really been with? I'm close to 30 people....which is embaressing but I really don't want future men to know because i'm sure they'll look down on me...With my last bf I told him i've been with around the same as him...he was only with 8....I feel horrible at how many ive been with but it doesn't even seem like it ever happened because it was when I was 17-19....now i'm 22 and not like that anymore...Also, I used to be a dancer briefly so is it wrong for me to not disclose that to future bf's too? I was always an open book with people and told them the truth but I feel like a respectful classy man wont take me seriously if I really told him the truth? HELP!

Answer 1

some things are probably just best kept to yourself plus its your past and thats exactly what it is THE PAST. I too slept with alot of people when i was younger but people change.Its the ones that dont change that are WH*RES

Answer 2

Personally I won't hold it against you because we all do dumb thing when we are younger. I would feel hurt, shocked, and mortified. I'd steer clear of the subject and get to know the other person first. If the question came up state I don't know. Later in more serious relationships you will have to tell the truth. If you don't funny thing is they always come out. Hopefully he will love you for who you are now and not what you were. I am sure that a respectful classy man can be found that will take you seriously, and still love you after the truth.

Answer 3

You can sleep with as many people as you want,it's your body,but do the right thing : go get checked,stop sleeping with every man you meet,and most important : Keep the number of partners to yourself, somethings shouldn't be told even if they ask,and if you already know how men will treat you when they find out why would you tell in the first place? It's no ones business but yours before you catch something you can't clear up with a shot.

Answer 4

Its nobodys business how many people you slept with. You should never even ask or answer the question. Every guy has a # in their head that is ok with them. Each guys # is going to be different and all of them are going to pick low #'s. I dont even discuss it. When I'm asked I say what does it matter ? I have learned that being an open book gets you nowhere. Nobody has ever been such an open book to me.

Answer 5

People are obsessed with that number, so expect that. But if you did what you felt like you wanted/needed to do at the time, that's all anyone can expect. I can empathize, believe me. Full disclosure is not necessary to everyone, but being ashamed of your past doesn't do you any good as far as the future is concerned.

By the way... definitely take a look at your motivation for sleeping with these people. Did you feel obligated, pressured, etc? If so, that is something that needs to be resolved.

Answer 6

17-19 was not that long ago! But who cares about numbers? I have been with more that the from 12-24 now and I can still find respectable people that want long lastin relationship with me. If that is a problem maybe you need to change the of men you go for.

Answer 7

I respect a women who has kept her virginity, however, those who haven't I don't disrespect...but when a partner has numerous partners as you have, its a warning sign to me that intimacy isn't as sacred and meaningful to them as it is to me and from my past experiences tends to lead to mis-understandings or acknowledgment from the connection that intimacy has with love...As a guy I was very physical in expressing my love instead of as most women are emotional...I've only known the difference from what loving relationships I have shared with other women, but there is some sort of dis-connect when a women has acted with such dis-regard to their limitations of physical intimacy that it becomes very difficult to satisfy her emotional needs....what I am trying to convey is very difficult because it effects a relationship so gradually and different aspects of such behavior play out as the relationship reaches different levels...All I can say is if you can't deal with it then your partner will not be able to deal with it either...the more you can accept your past and learn what is more appropriate in your current relationship then less does your partner need to know about your past...but if your stuck on certain issues that you can not deal with , let your partner know because it will effect your relationship eventually and if your partner does not know why then it will make it all that more difficult to figure how to overcome that circumstance..sorry I rambled on...you sound like you want whats right and I want you to have that too...good luck.

Answer 8

There is no magic number. I wouldn't be dishonest about your past since it is your past and there is nothing you can do to change it. However, it's not exactly information I'd let be known early on in a relationship. Whenever you feel most comfortable (especially if the relationship is getting serious) you might want to let him know. Then again, there's a lot of guys I know who don't want to know. They leave the past in the past.

Answer 9

your doing the right thing NEVER EVER tell a man how much men you've been that they do look down on you and they do use that against you am 19 and am not happy with how much people i've slept with but am not happy but i don't tell people i want a relationship with how much people i've been with either and no your not a whore you just made wrong choices

Answer 10

Honestly is the best policy. Besides if it came from someone else then guess what would happen. I would not worry about it. The past is the past if someone can't get over that then you are with the wrong person.