i am 17 years old and extremely confused. throughout my teenage years i have been shifted from school to school due to the lack of finance which has moved me away from alot of people that i grew up with. i have felt as i have hit puberty that i have been different form other people. i can't neccesarily talk much with people as i have no confidence and worry if i say something it will put them off me. i am however a very good listener. i'll listen to anyone at college if they seem down or pissed off with something. i probably have two friends who i can really talk to now and even them i don't see much as they live so far away. my girlfirend is lovely but i can't bring myself to talk to her anymore as i really do feel im socially inadequate. when i want to say something it comes out all wrong or takes about ten minutes to get out of my mouth! i do shut myself off from people too due to this which i don't like. i want to have a large group of friends and i want to socialise! please help!
2006-08-17 03:37:39 · 12 answers · asked by mysterious 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
So what if you say the wrong thing or have to think about what you say! Until you get more accustomed to social interaction, that's how it's going to be!
Talk to your girlfriend about your problem. She's probably wondering why you haven't spoken to her. She deserves an explanation.
What are your interests? Meet new people by joining groups of people who share common interests. You can be shy when you're in the grave- just go up to people and say "Man, I love your... (shirt, skateboard, car, whatever...)" turn that object into a conversation!
Don't lie to people. Be yourself- you've probably heard that a million times, but that's because it's true- i didn't become popular until i got out of my "i'm shy" phase and started being myself- whether people liked it or not.
2006-08-17 03:50:25 · answer #1 · answered by miss advice 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have been moved around a lot. It also sounds to me that if you can get past the can't talk part but talking with someone who is trained like a counselor you would make a great counselor yourself because you listen.
OK, this is what you can do from where you are. Practice, practice, practice. Image you are going. It is called fake it until you make it and it usually works.
Another thing you can do take a class in meditation and breathwork. Learn to control you mind. Learn to use breath to calm yourself.
Hope I was of some help.
2006-08-17 03:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by dayakaur 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a social phobia. Social phobia includes being highly anxious in social situations due to the fact that the individual feels that he or she will say or do something that others will think of as stupid and may result in embarassment or humiliation. These individuals have panic attacks in social situations, and either avoid or endure with great discomfort these situations. Going to a cognitive behavioral therapist would be your best bet at this point, as they will teach you to learn more effective ways of thinking about social situations and will expose you to role plays where you initiate, maintain, and end conversations with strangers.
Of course, this may not sound like you at all, in which case I'd still recommend seeing a therapist. Not feeling good sucks. You shouldn't have to deal with that.
2006-08-17 03:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by Police 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well being a good listener is a very good start. People like to feel important in situations. Being a good listener will make people feel important. Remembering their names, and having some input will help. I studied socialogy to help me better understand people and why they act the way they do. I helped me turn from an introvert to an extrovert. And try to be happy, people like to talk and hang out with happy people. I hope this helps some and good luck.
2006-08-17 03:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by Joe P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be OK for strangers but not for your girlfriend. You need to improve your verbal your verbal skills (this sounds odd, but there are people who think one thing, and say something different). Try it in privacy, preferable in the front of a mirror. Write down the things you have said and compared them to the ones you wanted to say, then you can judge and see what to modify. This will feel weird but dont worry, just practice and then slowly move on to people.
2006-08-17 03:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by Apollo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, almost everyone feels that way at your age because of the crazy hormones, puberty, and the changes your whole body is experiencing. It is also very hard to move away from your friends at that age, (especially when you need them right now).
2006-08-17 03:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sapphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heres the thing you need to have confidence in yourself trust inyourself and be friendly walk over to someone random and say hello and pick a topic and just start talking and give them a chance to interact with you dont be afraid and just because you move alot does not mean you are socially inadaquite. things will get better. just hang in there.
2006-08-17 03:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by fierce.tigress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just going through puberty and that's normal. Everyone reacts differently to that phase of growing up!
2006-08-17 03:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by ♥TransylvanianVamp♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should seek counselling. you may be depressed or have some other mental issue. now don't take offense to that as alot of people take it as an insult if told they have mental problem, but most people have one or more mental issues even if they don't realise it. don't be ashamed just seek help or it may get worse. good luck :)
2006-08-17 04:14:21 · answer #9 · answered by booti92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i sent you an im but im not sure if your going to get it
2006-08-17 03:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by lil_devil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋