How do you walk that fine line between protecting you kids and overprotecting you kids?

Question

My son is 5 and when my wife's biological mother came to visit for a week, she couldn't believe how much we let him run around. Our son is only allowed to stay on our street (4 houses to the left and 4 houses to the right) and on go to certain homes. He has to tell us which home he is going to and then come home and ask to go to another home. We talk to all the parents and will take walks outside to spot check him. Of course my mother-in-law checked the sex offenders list (which we have done too) and sent an e-mail to my wife about it all.
While we would be devasated if anything happened to him, we don't want to make him afraid of the world. How do you walk that fine line? Is it really that horrible in the world or are we just more aware of it now and overreacting?

Answer 1

Someone that young should never be unobserved. Period. One second of time is all that is needed to lose him. After a child reaches the age of 10 they may be alone in close proximity to the home but they should not go in houses without a parent. Especially alone.. That is how so many sexual predators get to kids. They get friendly with the parents and then work on the kids. Wise up. The world is full of predators and the last thing you want is your child to end up the victim.

Answer 2

I'm a mother of a 6 year old and let me tell you, when it's possible I keep my eye on her. If not then I make sure there is always adult supervision.
There are some crazy people out there who may not be listed as sex offenders, or may not live in your area who are always searching for kids. Sometimes it's the people you least likely expect (like a neighbor). I say I'd rather not take the chance there is so much going on in this world.

Answer 3

That's a really hard question.

At 5, I would probably supervise a bit more. It depends on the child too somewhat- I am sure you've told your son about strangers and street safety. You aren't letting him run around without having any idea where he is like a lot of parents do.

It's your decision on what you & your wife are comfortable with. Her mother is interfering but only out of love for her grandson so remember that.

I think a lot of people do over-react. How much freedom & when is something I struggle with as a parent too. You need enough to keep them safe, but not so much that they don't learn to think for and fend for themselves.

Good luck.

Answer 4

It is a fine line and a most difficult one to hit. The child will naturally be growing in independence and you want that. At the same time you do not want the child to hit a bad situation. It sounds from what you described like your child is in a very good situation. If I could suggest only one thing, it would be to talk with him and tell him why some things are dangerous, to never ever run out in the street for example, to never go with a stranger, or to seek out a police officer if he is ever lost and needs help. Thank you both for being good, concerned parents.

Answer 5

Things happen, but as parents we need to be aware at all times, and make rules. And when the child breaks the rules...it's then that we need to make sure they get disciplined and make sure they learn to follow them for their protection.

I have twins girls that are 4, they already know what a stranger is, they know to yell and scream "stranger". Get someone to play stranger after talking to your child about it, then have the stranger approach him at a time where you will be close by to "protect" them. It's a good tool in teaching your child about the dangerous people out there.

Also have a "safe" word. Like when someone has to pick up your child from school. Your son should say what's the safe word if they don't know who it is......if they don't know the safe word...tell him to go to the teacher right away, or scream "stranger".

Sad to say it is a horrible world, but we learn to live and deal with it!

Answer 6

It's ok for him to be afraid of the world at 5, he has his whole life to adjust to the world. I would be more protective if I were you, just checking a sex offender list is no guarantee that one is eyeing him up right now. Is it better to have a timid child that's alive or an extrovert that trusted the wrong person???

Answer 7

I think you are definitely doing everything just right!

You let him have his freedom, yet you always know where he is. You didn't say, but do you know the parents of the homes he goes too?

I think people make a bit mistake these days when they make kids paranoid and afraid of everyone. Parents need to tell kids about the dangers out there, but without over-kill.

I think the world is more horrible than it used to be for so many reasons and we are also more aware of it.

You are doing a great job!

Answer 8

My personal opinion is that a 5 year old shouldn't be let to go any farther than the yard, with constant supervision. It's just too easy for a stranger to grab him when he's on his way to the 4th house down, and chances are no one will see it happen.

Better safe than sorry.

Answer 9

Your surroundings have alot to do with were to draw the line...it sounds like your doing fine...I've lived in neighborhoods were my children couldn't leave the yard but moved to a safer location where they could ride their bikes or visit friends so long as they stayed on the cul de sac...Just enforce the current rules and beware as he gets older he will want to venture further..know where your child is and educate him that not all places are safe for him to go....draw the line when you feel its unsafe for him to venture into danger...but it sounds like his current boundaries are safe for the moment...one more thing, current surrounding can become dangerous when kids tend to push their own boundaries , so know the kids he hangs around with too...good luck.

Answer 10

no, the majority of the worl din insane, that is how they are trained from birth to be there are those of us that have for whatever reason become more virtuous and enlightened through the trials of life an insane person cannot properly comprehend or act upon what this place truly is. They stay in a little world they create for themselves, unfortunately it won't bring them out, theyll repeat this for eternity.