My soon to be husband and I have begun living differently with our walk with God and everything. Our tv stays on christian channels, our radio on christian stations and our interests are christian. However, every now and then I do like to watch regular tv programs. But as soon as a find something I would like to watch and I get up for one second he turns the channel back to the christian stations without even asking me or anything. Then if I say something it's like I've committed some sin or I'm loosing faith and all this about I need to pray more. I'm trying not to seem rebellious against God but I feel he (my fiance') is going to far and in the little of it putting me down about my faith.
What do you think?
*Yes I have prayed on it so not put downs just serious point of views.
Thanks
2006-08-17 02:35:59 · 17 answers · asked by tasgilla 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's very advantageous that this has come to light before you marry. This is a very serious situation, involving your free will, free time and self-expression. I won't suggest PRAYING on it, but accessing the aid and counsel of the head of the church which you two attend is an excellent way to go. You must resolve this, and gain your fiance's assurance of his understanding, and agreement to "loosen up" before the wedding. You sound like a devoutly committed person, and you deserve happiness. Your fiance must be a wonderful man, if you've come this far, in the relationship. I would not wish your marriage to fail, based upon preconceived expectations or sanctions, on his part. My best, to you.
2006-08-17 02:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by patterson589@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to talk to him about these feelings. To continue a strong relationship, you need to communicate. Tell him how this makes you feel and ask him why he feels it must be the way he says. Relationships are give and take, so he can't take all and expect you to keep giving, even if his intentions are good.
Second, following a religion has to be grounded in the world you live in everyday. By this, I mean you are not expected to follow nothing but this religion, you are expected to incorporate it in your current life. You are expected to take it and use it to make your life better. If you can watch non-Christian broadcasting and still live a good life, then it's fine to watch it. Being exposed to things that do not exemplify your religion simply helps you remember your path and helps you remember what is good and what is bad.
Most of all, you need to sit down and talk about the feelings involved here and work out the situation with your fiance. Many people have made it sound like your marriage is doomed and I don't want it to seem such a dire situation, but the underlying mentality that your fiance has to have is a pretty big deal. Just remember you have to be able to communicate and come to an agreement, a compromise, NOT one person deciding the other's fate or putting down the other in any way. It is a pretty big deal in a marriage. Definitely make sure you can work these kinds of things out before you do get married.
2006-08-17 10:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he may have some control issues. I am a Cristian myself.You need to remind him ,and I think you can do it in a way that's not insulting, but God has given us a free will. I would just try to assure him that you do want a walk with God and not a relationship with someone that wants to rule your every thought and move yo make in your life. A good marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship and a good relationship with God is none the less. Always remember, you can pray and ask for guidance on this matter. People always say,and I am guilty of this myself, ALL we can do is pray,well really, isn't that the most important thing we can do?
2006-08-17 09:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by crazartgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is new then why wasn't he like this before you decided to marry?? You can still be religious and walk with God without tuning into Christian programming 24/7. It sounds like he is trying to force more religion on you and that is not healthy. Sit back and look at the progression of the change and who initiated it then ask yourself why. If he is trying to mold you into his ideal mate then I hate to say it but maybe you need to re-evaluate the whole situation because a marriage cannot last if one mate is trying to change the other from the beginning.
2006-08-17 09:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by scratch golfer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say your soon to be husband is wrong for doing that. He cannot make you follow closer to God by doing that. I am not sure what you like to watch, but if the program isn't bad then there is nothing wrong with that. He needs to understand that serving God is a personal thing between you and God. What he has done can make you bitter toward him and God. God knows what you are watching and if the Holy Spirit lives in you trust me he will let you know what you are doing and he will correct you. Its up to God to change you not your fiance.
2006-08-17 09:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by iwant_u2_wantme2000 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the first answer that what he does regarding the TV is a bit inconsiderate.
But is he like that when you're doing other things that don't involve watching TV?
If not, then perhaps the TV is the problem. Maybe you guys are watching it too much, and need to cut down.
But if he acts like that in other respects besides "TV time," then something is wrong -- and like the first answerer said, I would seriously re-evaluate my plans if I were you.
2006-08-17 09:49:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds overzealous and completely unbalanced. Don't marry him unless he can get some balance. Are you being counselled? Have you shared your feelings. Remember, you do NOT submit to a boyfriend nor a fiance, but ONLY a husband. Peace and blessings, Mamma.
2006-08-17 10:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you're only engaged, not married. He frankly sounds obsessed. If he's that manic, you may come in a distant second. I'd move on, or at least postpone any actual wedding plans until you see how this plays out.
2006-08-17 10:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's going to turn into an abusive maniac. Sounds just like my dad. He always used to try and act all high and holy and make me feel like I was the biggest sinner if i listend to anything but christian music or read anything besides the bible. He used to beat my mother and he used to hit me and he's always been verbally abusive.
2006-08-17 10:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Tamsin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong or sinful about watching regular programming, God does not expect us to be perfect or prudent. As long as you love, honor and remember to keep Him first you will be okay, your fiance may be overcompensating for past sins or regression be he needs to deal with that and subject you to his aggressive beliefs, your relationship with God is yours and your fiances' is his. Think about this who will you be in a relationship with the longest him or God, who do you wish to please more and who will judge you when it's all said and done.Good luck to you sis.
2006-08-17 09:51:32 · answer #10 · answered by peaceful215 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋