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My husband was married previously and he had 2 children with his first wife..Anyway we are married now and his oldest daughter is getting married next month..My husband is giving his daughter away at the wedding..ok now you now how normally the father walk's the mother down the aisle and seats her..well they are divorced and he is remarried to me..his ex-wife wants him to walk her down the aisle and seat her i need some opinions on this..Please help me....

2006-08-17 02:31:34 · 23 answers · asked by Maureen B 5 in Family & Relationships Weddings

23 answers

The father doesn't walk the mother down the aisle. I've never seen that before. One of the groomsmen does it.

2006-08-17 02:36:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

That may be true in your culture, or country, however, in mine, the father of the bride does not walk ANYONE down the aisle, except the bride, unless of course both father and mother of the bride are escorting the bride down the aisle.

The bride's brother or another close relative, even an usher (but someone well-dressed since there is usually a photographer), seats the mother of the bride, since the mother of the bride is to be the LAST PERSON SEATED before the ceremony begins. At this point, it is the father of the bride's job, to be at the back of the church, with his daughter.

Therefore, you need to be gracious and step back and sit in the pew BEHIND the mother of the bride and your husband.

After your husband walks his daughter down the aisle, the preacher will say, "who gives this woman to be married to this man" (or something similar), your husband should say, "Her MOTHER and I do." and then he takes his daughter's hand and places it in the hand of her betrothed. He then steps back and per the mother of the bride's request, SITS with his ex-wife.

Your husband's ex-wife's request is NOT unreasonable; it is TRADITIONAL.

You chose to marry a divorced man who has children, you need to be a team-player.

For the reception however, if there is a bridal dance where the family joins the bride on the dance floor, the mother of the bride dances with someone, ANYONE, other than her ex-husband. For that episode, you are introduced and step out onto the dance floor with YOUR husband. That doesn't mean at somepoint that they cannot dance together (the ex's) just not at that point, where the bridal party is introduced.

If you do not behave accordingly, you will cause irrepreble harm, hurting YOURSELF, too, in the long run.

P.S. Make sure you are also getting a corsage or whatever flower arrangement is traditional for the "moms".

2006-08-17 02:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by pamspraises 4 · 1 0

The father of the bride doesn't walk the mother down the aisle. I think we've established that. As far as sitting next to the ex wife goes, he should sit next to her if his daughter wants him to. You can sit in the row right behind them, or next to your husband (on the other side of him). Ask the daughter how she wants it. The main thing is not to make a big deal out of it. If the mother insists that your husband walk her down the aisle, just go with it. Even though it's a little weird, you and he can live with it for a day, to make the daughter happy.

2006-08-17 05:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1 0

My advice is to find out what your husband's daughter wants. If the daughter has strong feelings about who walks her mother down the aisle, then it is she with whom you and your husband should resolve the issue, taking everyone's feelings into account. It really isn't up to the bride's mother to make this demand. If your step-daughter is okay with it, then an usher could simply walk her mother down the aisle, or another escort of her mother's choice. Or, your husband could walk her down the aisle, seat her and then return up the aisle and escort you to your seat, then return to walk his daughter down the aisle. There are lots of ways this can be handled with no need for hard feelings.

Overall, this is a day for your step-daughter and her husband-to-be.Though each person involved should have their feelings considered, I think the bride's feelings in the matter should be given priority.

I wish you the best of luck and also hope that the wedding will be a beautiful and mostly stress-free event!

2006-08-17 02:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by shawnabobonna 4 · 0 0

Here the usher seats the Mother, while the Father is in the back with his daughter. If this really becomes an issue for the bride and no one else let him walk the ex and save the bride some anxious moments. Another words you doing it for the couple getting married and not the ex.. Good Luck.

2006-08-17 03:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by roeskats 4 · 0 0

I thought either the son (if there is one) or an usher, or the groom walks the mother down the aisle...... hm! Good questions.

Talk to the daughter. See if there's anything she wants done in her way. If she's still lost, she can talk to the officiant of the wedding and get some ideas.

2006-08-17 02:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Rock Goddess 3 · 1 0

According to tradition, this is what should be done, regardless of the divorce. They are the parents of the child being married, but I attended a wedding where he walked both the ex and current down the isle, since the current was as much a part of the child's life at the birth mother.

2006-08-17 02:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There is a book called, Weddings, a Family Affair, by Majorie Engel Ph. D.
Deals with ALL aspects of divorced parents on one or both sides, step parents, half brother &sisters, step brothers & sisters. Check your library.

MOST times both mothers are seated by one of the ushers or groomsmen. Protcol says that someone from the bride's side seats the groom's mother, and someone from the groom's side seats the bride's mother. But I've seen it done the other way as well. Have the bride make the choice where EVERYONE is comfortable.

I commend you for your attitude. Despite the divorce it sounds like all hostle feelings have been laid aside for the sake of this child's wedding day. My hat off to you!

2006-08-17 02:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1 0

When my son got married 3 years ago we had somewhat the same dilema.....his father remarried and I was single. When we went in the church, my ex walked us BOTH at the same time, one on either side of him. Has your ex's wife remarried? If so, that could iliminate problems by having her husband walk her and your husband walk you. Also, when we went into the reception and was introduced, my ex and his wife went first, I was escorted by a nephew. It will be sticky but remember who's day this is and whatever works and keeps the peace is what you need to do...it's just ONE day!

2006-08-17 04:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0 0

If you or him don't feel comfortable with walking the mother of the daughter down the aisle then get one of the ushers to do it. Every wedding doesn't have to be traditional.

2006-08-17 02:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by kat81886 2 · 0 0

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