How does a person get over a huge dissapointment?

Question

A year and a half ago, I made a big mistake and lost a dream having to do with a career move in dance....I still wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety pulsing through my body. I feel like I can't get over it...Ive lost a dream. How can I move on and not become bitter. I feel like life isnt worth living when all dreams eventually shatter and you are left with the broken pieces still cutting your soul after so much time has passed. I can't even feel happy for others who are successful because I feel so empty inside. How can I fill a gaping hole with healing when life just keeps rubbing in salt

Answer 1

Keep your chin up. As I've often said before when the door to opportunity has been closed - a window to anothre opportunity has been opened! It's heartbreaking when a long time dream is shattered. Yet, it's not the end of the world - or your life as you know it! Redefine your dreams, your goals, create new ones, and pursue those. All things happen for a reason in life, and even though we may not understand what that reason is, we need to keep pushing forward. The only way to achieve to success is to have known failure first, and so what's happened in the past becomes a learning lesson, and can even be viewed that way as well. We all make mistakes in life. Even as a child learns to ride his or her bike - they might turn to sharp, or on loose gravel, and they fall, and get their knees scratched up, they don't give up! They get back on, and learn not to turn so sharply, or avoid the loose gravel! Try to stay positive and focus on a new dream. This will give you something to look forward to, and in time you will also learn to let go of the past. But again - it does take some time. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Make a plan. Sit down with a blank piece of paper and determine if another dream with the same goal is possible, even after a year and a half. If not, write down all other possible "dreams" for yourself that you think still possible - in dance - or any other creative area.

On second thought - first pull up on the web the steps of grieving. You will find you are still grieving the loss of that opportunity. Until you understand grieving - determine what phase you are in - determine what you need to proceed from that phase to the next - you will not stop grieving, and thus will probably be blocked from planning.

If you find you can't stop grieving for it, get professional help. You may be missing other opportunities due to your grief.

Also, check out www.hufa.org - the symptoms page. Your waking up in the middle of the night anxious may be a sign of low blood sugar, which could also inhibit your release from grief and your ability to progress.

Answer 3

I went through the exact same thing. I used to be a musician, and had BIG dreams of making it in the business. It all fell apart around 1994. It was really difficult. I descended into drinking a lot, depression, meaningless sexual relationships, etc.

But I feel better now. I got help, and I have new goals. I would advise you to try and not waste a lot of energy focusing on the loss. (I know that's easier said than done...). I feel that I wasted a lot of years being depressed about my lost dreams, and that made it worse, because in the meantime, I didn't develop any new dreams, until now.

I am reminded of the personal stories of many of the most successful people in history. Many of them went through many "failures," disappointments, and losses.

Here's one of my favorite sayings, from Teddy Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to do mighty things, to win glorious triumphs though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

--T. Roosevelt


Hope this helps, I know it sucks, honey. I've been there.

Love, Jack.

[e-mail]

Answer 4

How do you overcome and challenge the feeling of disappointment?

1. Review your goals.

You may have assigned an unrealistic goal that was out of your reach. Examine it again and start planning a new reasonable one.

Setting and accomplishing goals is an ongoing process and you need flexibility to change when necessary. Refocus on your new and clear route and go all out with a new determination.

Keep thinking of how badly you need it. Give yourself enough time to reach its accomplishment.

2. Gather more knowledge and skills.

Your lack of success may have been caused due to lack of knowledge, experience and skills. Increase your chances of getting better results through reading and learning from others who have succeeded.

It may take hundreds or thousands of hours, efforts, preparation, study and practice to get it right. With persistence you will gain enough skills, increases your knowledge and obtain the result that you desire.

3. Analyze your situation and approach it differently.

Analyze your thinking and look for different ways of doing things. You may have to make changes to your personality, attitude or your habitual ways of solving problems.

Altering your direction and changing your approach, habits and patterns of thoughts may produce different results.

For more, check the source.

Answer 5

You have to move on, think of the other side, there could be some hidden aspect that would have made it completely wrong for you. My sister changed her job because she thought she shouldn't miss the opportunity and now she is completely miserable. Also this isn't the end, that is one opportunity, there could well be others. You just have to throw yourself into the life and moment you have and refuse to have any regrets because the past is gone but the future is still editable.

Answer 6

enable him study about your concerns, about your men' destiny at the same time and be conscious his opinion. in case your love is so tremendous, it doesn't remember the dimensions of ring you purchase. and that i'd imagine it may be more effective efficient for a lady now to not purchase her personal ring because of the marvel that comes alongside with it, and probably you receives a more effective one once you 2 have a wedding ceremony so do not rigidity over it. a hoop is merely something that you'll placed on, that human beings will recognize even as they see it that you're married. the biggest ingredient is the affection and connection you 2 percentage in a courting. yet, funds is definately a good economic component to think about even as getting married. Like I reported, convey your concerns to him and be conscious the way it is going on from there, good luck!

Answer 7

Without knowing the situation, it is never too late to pursue your dream, you may just have to go about things in a different way. One door closes and another opens up. If it is something like an injury preventing you from dance you can either learn to accept it or get involved in different ways (production perhaps?)Unforunately things don't always work out the way we plan.

Answer 8

Find something new before you start having physical health problems like new allergies and anaphylaxis. Stress ruins your body even more than a broken heart, but the broken heart comes first.

The pain will never go away, but you can still do good things with your life. Just start now before you make your body really sick and it tries to shut down.

Answer 9

pick up all the pieces of your dream, it is probably real get yourself back on track with your emotions and your work, you will get to a place to start again, things will get better

Answer 10

lower your standards, or turn to drugs