is it normal? male and female answers appreciated?

Question

i am very much in love with my girlfriend who is amazingly beautiful and intellectual but i cant help myself from checkin out other girls and even wanting to do things etc. i could never bring myself to cheat on her but this is doing my head in, its like im permenantly horny and on heat. i get sex with my girlfriend so that aint a problem. i feel guilty for thinking these thoughts because she is so amazing i dont know whats wrong with me, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!! fanks a lot for all your answers

Answer 1

It is perfectly normal but I do understand completely where you are coming from. From a female perspective, I have gotten annoyed with my fiance even though I know it is mostly instinctual. Guys have it built into them to check out as many possible mates as they can even if they don't want another girl. A girls instinct is to find a meaningful relationship with one guy. I try not to hold it against him and as long as he is not rude about it and accidentally checks out women in front of me it doesn't bother me. So that is my advice. If you cannot quit checking out other girls (which would be hard for any guy) just be sure to train yourself like my guy not to check them out in front of your GF. Albeit my fiance has only had one situation where he ever thought for a second what it would be like to have a different girl he would never actually do anything. He was honest and told me about it, and even though I myself cannot imagine ever being with someone else because I already have my instinctual fantasy, I understand also that you cannot get out millions of years of ingrained instinct from someone. So as I said there is not much you can do other than training yourself to not look when she is around, and be honest with her if you think that will help, and deep meditation. The meditation may help to releive your mind and even help you cut back slowely.

Answer 2

Yeh.

It's called being young.

If i were you, i would end the relationship becasue if you were that committed, you wouldnt be interested in anyone else.

Word the ending so that there is a chance you can get back together in a few years time.

Then in this space of time, just shag around (use a johnny tho, seriously) cos you are gonna hav to get it outta your system.

Otherwise, you'll hit your late 30s, hit your mid-life crisis and then start questioning why you have only shagged 2 or 3 people. And then even if you are completely in love, the chances are you WILL cheat.

So, make sure you do it now while you can, otherwise you might regret it when your older and/or have relationship problems.

Not that i'm right, but this is my theory anyway.

Answer 3

Dude

I eould assumeyou are quite young. This is very normal and in many respects out of your control. You will be in a stage of your life know where your body is maturing (not puberty) and as a result will be producing a lot of growth hormones. These hormones effect your metabolism in that you do not build up fat as quickly, muscle growth you will be strong, hair growth in that you need to cut your hair more, and sexual potency amongst many others.

If you look at a guy who is 18-19 and one who is in his mid thirties you will clearly see a diffence. All you are doing is growing into manhood (usually about 21-23), you really have no control over it. Your hormones are doing the talking.

I myself am in my mid thirties and I have been there and done it. I cheated when I was younger, wouldn't know as my priorities have changed and I no longer have the same passions or desires beacuase my body is no longer producing growth hormones.

I still look at women however, in comparision to my late teens early twenties I really can't be bothered. Now I much prefer intellectual stimulation and compatibility in my sexual partners.

I hope this helps.

Answer 4

I'd say pretty much yea. I mean all guys check out other girls even if they are married and think a few things here or there. I'm sure your gf does the same with other guys too sometimes. Big difference is though is if you cheat thats when you have gotten to hot and horny and let your dick lead you around.

Answer 5

Well, not sure how old you are, but at 47 i view a woman as being like a fine work of art, they are to be appreciated...but never touched....We all have urges, its just the nature of the man. Why feel guilty about these....You know in your heart how you feel about your girlfriend, just allow that feeling to be with you, and be happy with it. If your committed, then dont cheat...and dont feel guilty....Its a way of life....as far as being in heat, just dont eat oysters and be happy your living life....there is an old saying "dont take life to seriously, because you wont get out of it alive"...just live and be the best person you can be....Guilt and regret are the worst things you can have, dont beat yourself up....Just be happy you have a girl you love, and that loves you.

Answer 6

Your young and you are not in control? Your testosterone levels are through the roof! These are the bad guys in charge at present! all they wanna do is get around! give me as many hosts as you can find!!! You are not the guilty party ok? The fightening thing here is how long are they in control? Could be months but it's more likely to be years! If there is a way of diluteing or decreasing your testosterone levels then you will end your dilema? Man from yesteryear says......Enjoy the ride! i certainly did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

You could be missing something in the relationship. You might be having sex, but you're not enjoying it. It sounds as if your relationship has reached a stalling point.

Perhaps you and your girlfriend should get together and talk about your mutual sexual needs, try and find ways for you and her to spice things up - different positions, experimentation, role play. You've really got to have this talk, and soon, because otherwise when she begins to notice your wandering eyes, your future will hold nothing but trouble.

Answer 8

You might be suffering from sex addiction, it can take over your life and put your intimate relationships in jeopardy. Often it's the result of a combination of porn and emotional/stress problems. Google it, and see if what you read about fits. If so, see a Relate counsellor.

Keep an eye on your relationship, and how your girlfriend feels about your behaviour.

Answer 9

well it's normal for a guy to check on other girls every now and then.. we girls sometimes do that.. but the thing is, with you, your imagining doing something with other girls.. and for me that is cheating. If you're girlfriend satisfies you and makes you happy, why would you imagine making love to another person. Two things, you're just a lusty person, or you don't really love your girlfriend..

Answer 10

I think it's normal. The difference between being a normal human and an animal is the ability to check those impulses based on higher reasoning, ethics, etc.