My boyfriend and I met 2 1/2 years ago, but at the time I was with someone so nothing happened. Then, by the time me and my ex had split up and I was in a reasonably stable state of mind, my now boyfriend was with someone. We remained friends but there was always something there.
So, now were finally together. He moved in with me the first day we got together (a month ago) and the only time we are apart is when were working. I love him like mad and were talking about getting married next year, but some people that weve told think we should live together for at least a year before we even think about planning it. I'm not a patient person and its not like were planning to marry next week, I dont want to wait two years and neither does he.
Are we getting carried away and rushing into things, or should we just say to hell with it and do what we want? I admit its soon but it's not like weve just met, this has been coming for over 2 years!
2006-08-16 22:55:33 · 22 answers · asked by ladyjinx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi do what you want to do, dont listen to know one else they talk aload of crap, if you want to get married and he feels the same do it, you only live once, people who give you that story you havent lived together long enough, blah blah blah, are just sticking their nose in. It really annoys me no one can just shut there gob and be happy, then it puts you in a doubtful state of mind and you think the worse etc and it makes you feel owful because you think you doing something wrong when your not. I was in this situation a few months ago when we decieded to get married next year most people agreed and then people butted there noses in and i was in a right state i felt like i was doing something wrong, these people have obviously never been in the situation your in and how much love you feel, for each other there just old fashion and talk aload of BS. if your happy and hes happy them your doing the right thing. I didnt listen to them and i thought the vicar was going to say something to us but he was happy for us and that reasured me alot and now the wedding is all sorted and if people want to but there nose in just look at there lives there just jeoulous and hurtful
2006-08-17 00:08:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My question would be: What exactly is the rush? Is there some big benefit that being married is going to bring to you (health care, financial benefits, etc) that you need right away?
If not, other than having a legal certificate, what is the point of rushing into marriage?
Even though you have "known" each other for two years, there can be a big difference between knowing someone as a friend, and having a relationship where sex or sharing the same living space/finances is concerned.
I say take it down a notch. You may not have to wait a full year before deciding on marriage, but what is another 3-6 months going to hurt?
2006-08-17 06:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by Physh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh god... you did not say those dreaded words to me...
You moved in with your boyfriend?!?!
Man... of all the relationship no-nos...
Well, since you're already there, it shouldn't be that bad I hope. I say that you should date for at least a year (although I wish you the best of luck to survive for that living together). Either way, it will be hard living together for a year whether you guys are going to kill each other by the end of this or stay madly in love and can't stand another minute from not getting married.
Hopefully, it ends up being the crazy-love part. Take that 11 month ride, then plan out the wedding, cause it would total stink if you guys dated for barely a month (sure you knew him, just get to know him more!), marry, then end up hating each other for an eternity.
Besides, if you guys are really meant to be together, I am sure dating for 11 months should be heaven on earth.
Best of Luck
2006-08-17 06:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by silverbolt_64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You moved in together on your first date? I'm sure you won't listen to reason. You sound very impulsive and immature, but here goes: Just because you have known each other for two years doesn't mean you know each other well enough to live together, let alone get married. You are feeling infatuation, and it may turn into love, but it may not. Couples who live together before marriage are much less likely to get married. Marriage is a life-long commitment. Most people spend more time picking out a new car than you have getting to know the man you might spend the rest of your life with, and have children with. Slow down, live on your own and get to know this guy for at least a year. There is so much more to marriage than "loving him like mad".
2006-08-17 12:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should wait. Even though you've known each other for 2 years, it's a different type of relationship now with living together. You will no doubt learn a lot about each other in the next year or so. Right now you're in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. If you're meant to be together, you will be...so don't rush into marriage. The divorce rate is entirely too high.
2006-08-17 07:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should live together for at least a year before you decide to get married. A lot of people change when you live with them, and things may look good right now, but a few months down the road can change a lot. Its better to find out these types of things before you get married, then get surprised that things went sour after you've made the mistake.
2006-08-17 06:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a very sound basis for a marriage - you were both good friends before you had a relationship. And neither of you did anything wrong - you both remained JUST friends whilst you were with other people. I suggest you both do what you both want to do. Don't rush the wedding just because it goes against others but don't wait a lifetime just because others want you to. You and your partner will both know when the time is right for you.
2006-08-18 06:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by geegee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not a thing where you can listen to what a third person tells you. You have to make a decision on your own. After all, it's your life. So, if you feel right about it - do it. But if you don't - give it some time. If it's the right thing to do with time it will just make more sense!
Maybe even asking such a question shows that you're not yet completely "clear" about this all...?!
2006-08-17 06:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check it... if you guys really dig each other than waiting shouldnt be hard. Theres lots of passion between you guys right now but i would advice a little pratice. Live together first for a couple months, then see what happens. Theres no reason to rush true love...if thats what it really is.
2006-08-17 06:04:11 · answer #9 · answered by Foxhound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slow down, this hasn't been happening for 2 years, you have only been in a relationship with him for 1 month! you don't even know yet if you are even compatible to live together. i have been engaged for a year and i can't wait to get married next year, but i am certainly in no real hurry as i am just happy to be with him and vice versa, we have nothing to prove to anyone, but it sounds like you are trying to prove something. it sounds like you are not impatient, i would say more insecure. think long and hard, you don't know someone that well after just 1 month, i'm sorry.
2006-08-17 12:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by Summer Rain 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋