How do I remind my CHINESE father that I'm half INDIAN??

Question

The question may sound stupid, but not if ur biracial & was raised primarily in a multiracial neighborhood. My dad's Chinese mom's Indian, but it seems as though he's really keen for us to speak & fully utilize Chinese & Chiense customs, which can be very stressful. It seems like he's forgetting his wife is Indian. I know he means well, but how do I gently remind him that 'dad, I'm also half Indian, u know!' He sometimes can boast about how great & marvellous the Chinese is which really upsets me. He loves & accepts Indian culture (esp. his favorite Indian cuisine) but he wants us to be a 'well-rounded' Chiense first.

I think its stupid. I know he means well but i'm just so sick of him thinking about himself, his race, his culture & all that. Thank God he's not a Buddhist (Christian, like my mom), or my life will be like hell. How do i say, "dad, i really wanna learn more about India & Indian culture"? My mom doesnt seem to be bothered a bit

I mean, i dont even look like Chinese, more like a Hispanic. Is "dad, I'm half Indian too!" too harsh?

Why wuld i move out? He's paying for everything & i live a pretty cozy life. He embraces the Indian culture & loes my mom, its just that, sometimes he really thinks the Chinese 'has it all, why bother marrying a European'?

And oh, dont think that he's not a racist. He hates the Japanese after what they did to my granduncle

Being raised in a primarily Chinese-speaking neighborhood it doesnt seem like i have a lotta chance to 'get to know' India. Besides, i dont think my mom cares that much. I think my dad has 'Chinese'-ized her

Oh he does watch Hindi & Tamil movies, just like most of the Chinese in my country does

My bf's Korean he doesnt seem to be too excited 'bout it, i have plans to move to japan when i reach 25. How do i tell him that?

Farah_Z are u malaysian? Just a thought...

Me too!!!

Answer 1

I'm Singaporean and I'm the same as you!Except my Dad's Indian and my Mom's Chinese.And I look like you too :)

My dad respects my mom's culture even though we follow his. I think you should explain nicely to him that your mom is an Indian and that it would be fair and interesting to find out more about her culture,instead of always finding out about his.

Your dad is probably proud of his culture,and I think he just wants YOU to be proud of it too.But he is a little overboard.Maybe you should tell how you feel to your mom?That might help. :) You don't have to ask your dad if you don't know how to say what you feel the right way. :)

Good Luck :)

Answer 2

Half Indian Half Chinese

Answer 3

Hi! I'm not a Malaysian, neither am I Indian. I'm married to a man who's a mixture. Father is a Punjabi, mother is a Eurasian. I myself comes from a mixed race.

My children are known to be Punjabi, not Indians, my husband and family would scream if anybody calls them Indian. However, my children upbringing are more Eurasian than Punjabis. We go to the temple if there's a wedding. We are Christian and my father-in-law is a Sikh.

I feel bad that my children doesn't know the Punjabi culture but my father-in-law is not bothered.

So don't let it bother you if your mom is not bothered about you not knowing the Indian culture. What you should do id to find out for yourself. Research, mix with Indians.

When you know a bit more about the culture, maybe you can show your dad something about it. Like, maybe wanting to use their clothings, once in a while, wanting to crelebrate depavali. My family celebrate all festival here in Malaysia. It's fun.

Maybe you can ask your mom about it. Do not confront your dad now but learn about the culture first. Your dad is first and foremost a chinese and understandably proud of his race. Show him that you also like Indian culture too.

A piece of advise, do not fight with him about it, it's not worth it.

Answer 4

Just ask your Mom. You should probably talk it over with both parents. Sit down and have a pleasant conversation. Ask about the relationships between the cultures. I'm sure you already know, but please bear through my example. Ask your Dad to tell you about customs from China, for example. Then, ask your Mom to tell you about the similarities and differences of customs between China and India. It might just work as a subtle way to get your father to understand that you are curious and interested about the Indian culture without making him feel like you're not interested in Chinese culture.

Answer 5

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How do I remind my CHINESE father that I'm half INDIAN??
The question may sound stupid, but not if ur biracial & was raised primarily in a multiracial neighborhood. My dad's Chinese mom's Indian, but it seems as though he's really keen for us to speak & fully utilize Chinese & Chiense customs, which can be very stressful. It seems like...

Answer 6

This is extremely tricky, because I've found that Asian males are really proud of their culture (such as MY father), and won't accept that you identify with another one.

It took a long time for my dad to accept it, but if you really talk to him and explain, it does get better. Depending on your father, it might be really tense at first, but he has to accept the fact that you aren't happy with being the person he wants you to be (ie.. you don't define yourself as 100% Chinese). Say it calmly, and maybe a little bit at first, but make your point clear. You want to be YOU, and that's also being Indian.

Answer 7

You have to understand that your father is proud of who he is, maybe that was how his father brought him up. Is it that hard for you to maybe make your fatherr happy and just go with it? Wouldn't you regret the way you were feeling now if you didn't have him around? It doesn't sound like your dad is asking you for much, if anything. When you have children im sure you would want them to listen to you, right?

Answer 8

bloodline, race, family background is everybody's own individual pride.

if you don't like who you are - then man, that's tough.

obviously you're not anything else but half chinese and half indian. so you gotta take advantage of both worlds.

refusing one world certainly will only close you some doors.

Answer 9

Maybe involve him in your learning? If he thinks that you need his help to understand the other half of your culture, he might be more willing to let you go for it.
If not, maybe just entertain him & in your own time learn as much as you like. Its a shame that he is like this, you'l have full control of your own life one day.
Good luck, your mother can't help can she?

Answer 10

Its nice to be born as a mixed blood. I am mixed too. And i also have indian blood in me. Anyway, we dont really focus on one type of culture. We are very open.I basically celebrate any type of religious celebration there is including the Indians festivals, and also the othes. Just talk to your dad. Explain to him that you want to explore the Indian culture because you are half indian. There is really nothing wrong with learning other cultures. I love to know all the cultures in the world if i was given a chance. All i can say is just you can only talk and discuss abt it with your dad and you mum. You can also remind you mum that she is indian. Ask her to tell you abt her culture. Well, hope it works.