My husband just left for a four-month training TDY a few hours ago, and I find that I'm worried, upset, panicked and pretty scared by the thought of myself and my young daughter alone with no one to help remember things like when bills are due or appointments are coming up--although, granted, I tend be the one to do that. Add to that the fact that I'm military as well and will have to deal with daycare issues on a crazy schedule. I'm just wandering if I will gradually get used to it as the time goes by, or if I will be highly stressed out for four months. Is it easier as new TDY's come up, too, to part from your spouse when they leave?
2006-08-16 22:13:40 · 7 answers · asked by Ally 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
It gets easier, but I don't know if you ever really "get used to it". Mine has been in 18 years and I still miss him like crazy. I'm strong and independant though. I know that if I take care of things on the homefront, he'll have an easier time where ever he is. It's alot of stress on the soldier going away because they not only worry about where they are and what's going on, but they worry about the family too. I like mine to know that no matter what, everything here is going to be ok. Get yourself organized and stick to a schedule. That'll be really important. Of course, you being military too is added respondsibility. You have your own job to worry about too. I do highly suggest the schedule though. I keep a calendar by the desk and all appointments and such go on that. Bills are in tray in the order that they're due in. I also keep a monthly budget listing each bill, the due date, how much is due and then I mark what I actually paid and how (internet, check, etc). In this many years, this system hasn't failed me yet and it's so easy to keep maintained. Actually, for me, this way works so well, that bills and such are the least of my worries, which leaves me time for the house, cars and our daughter. The kids are stronger than you think. Just make sure they talk to Dad and that they know he's ok. You're obviously a strong family and have made tough choices already.
Good luck!!
2006-08-16 22:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does get easier. My hubby is on his second deployment and has been on numerous TDY's. Each time you adjust faster and by the time you have everything worked out perfectly ,everything is down pat, and you kid has gotten used to it, your spouse comes home and screws it all up. Lol j/k but that is pretty much how it works, and then you have to start getting used to everything all over again. Just focus on things at home and work and try not to think about your hubby being gone, it'll be OK. Definitely go to your family support center if you need something. I don't know which branch you all are in, but for example, the AF family support center will give you a voucher after 30 days of the TDY for a free oil change. You can also drop off the little one once a month for four hours to get some alone time for yourself (well they do these things at the base I am at, but I'm sure it's AF wide).
2006-08-17 19:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kristin C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TDY's are never easy. It can get a Little less stressful over time but that is because it can become a "common place occurrence". Keep a schedule and try to keep your day to day operations as "normal" as possible. Don't forget to take time for you!!!! It is very important that you take care of yourself to include doing the things to keep your morale up and running. Visit friends, family (If possible) go to the movies, or whatever makes your day better. Good luck and remember there are others out there just like you that need you as much as you need them.. Make friends and it will get easier (In one sense of the word) and spread the load (Emotionally speaking) around. the more people that can help you carry the load makes the load a little easier to bear.
2006-08-16 22:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by eldertrouble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the separations get easier as you learn the coping skills that help you adjust to being apart. It will never be "easy" but it will get "easier". You will have to establish new schedules and patterns that enable you to deal with the extra responsibilities you now have. Make sure you still find the time to do things to relax to help deal with the stress. Communicate with him in whatever ways are most effective for you as a couple (telephone, e-mail, IM). Try to focus on the positives. Separations like this can be a good experience as it allows you to grow.
2006-08-17 02:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by Natasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had to go through a deployment yet? If not, count your lucky stars!
What you are going through is perfectly normal. Yes, it will get easier on you as you adjust and get yourself into a new routine. Just try to stay extra busy (which I'm sure you'll have no problem doing :) and try not to dote on the fact that he's gone, or else those 4 months are going to seem like an eternity. Give yourself a few days and it will still hurt, but not so much.
((hugs))
2006-08-16 22:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by < Roger That > 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre stressing over TDY? Are you serious?Seem to me like you havent been trough deployment yet so let me tell you. You are supposed to have a family action plan that you will use when this type of thing happen. I suggest you get a calendar and set things like payments and appointments, i cant believe you cant manage this things. Its just a matter of organization and common sense.
I have been to deployments, TDY's, unnaccompanied tours, moved by myself three times and I still sane and never been late on my payments so just get organized plus hell be back.
2006-08-17 03:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by xadralix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sweetie it never gets any easier, take it from this old warhorse. Do the best you can, be supportive.
2006-08-17 02:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by TOPKICK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋