Help what do I say to my husband the child that he's taken care of for over 10 years isnt his child the Mother of the child finally got so pissed at him and told him who the real father is so this is the second DNA test that he's taken and they both confirmed what she told my husband the child isnt his I dont know what to say to him he's so hurt and he's the only Father this child has ever known I am at a loss for words for the first time since we've been married at first I did kind of suspect that this child may not be his but I stayed out of it So my question is what do I say to him?He says he knew it in his heart that the child wasn't his.
2006-08-16 21:05:49 · 11 answers · asked by CaliMa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To the poster who answered this question first what are you talking about re-read the question -My husband found out the child he thought was his with his ex-wife isn't his child and he's hurt and I'm trying to support my Husband but I dont know what to say to him.
2006-08-16 21:15:29 · update #1
whatever he does he should not let that child drop out of his life. There is already a bond there and despite his mother's bad decisions please don't let the child suffer. Encourage your husband to take his time to be angry and then continue to see and spend time with the child.
2006-08-16 21:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then you should only feel sorrow for the child, if your husband knew in his heart that the child was not his. It means he withheld vital emotional and maybe even spiritual support from an innocent being during crucial formative years. Also lament the mother that used her child to inflict harm on another person.
Better yet, urge your husband to continue to offer the support of his familly member, as he chose to be a father figure. It will be a true test of both your strength.
2006-08-16 21:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by iniyaitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw a man on tv that got custody of a child that was not biologically his,after thinking she was for a very long time.He proved the mother unfit and showed the judge how much love he had for this little girl regardless of what her dna revealed.In short.He is Daddy.Whoever got his ex wife pregnant had a good time.It makes him a biological father.But it doesn't make him a Daddy.I would encourage my husband not to stop loving and trying to guide the child through life.If he is all that boy knows then he is that childs Daddy and he probably looks up to him.Don't let him go.
2006-08-16 22:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by sunkissed299 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child is not just yours by blood, I am adopted by both parents and that is what I have always considered them "my parents" never give a thought to the ones who actually created me as being my parents. Just be there for your husband and "his" child and let him know the child has always and probably will always think of him as Dad no matter what. He has been there for the skinned knees, nightmares, and good times so to this child he most likely will be daddy forever no matter what the mother wants to try and hurt him with.
2006-08-16 21:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by Big Daddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes more than DNA to make a father.
It sounds to me like he has loved and cared for this child as his own, so to me, that makes her HIS!!! He should continue to do so .... the child needs a father who cares!
Please tell him that while it may hurt to know the truth, that he is still this childs "real" father in any true sense of the word!!!!
2006-08-16 21:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be disgusting and paraphrase something I heard on King of the Hill on all places...
"Anyone can be a father. It takes a real man to be a dad."
What do genetics matter? My brother isn't my father's child (is my mother's), but my father has been more of a father to him than his own father. He loves him, and he cares for him, and he raised him. That's all that matters in the end. My brother calls him "Dad", or "Dadoo", and their relationship has endured even my brother's behavior (even car theft!) because in the end, all that matters is that they LOVE each other.
Your husband is his dad. No little lines on a DNA sequence are going to take away that. There's more to fatherhood than blood. He's given his sweat, tears, and love. No one can take that away from him... Unless he lets it get to him.
2006-08-16 21:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Meredia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sperm doner isnot a father make a father is someone that loves that child and takes care of that child feeds a child a father is kind a father is loveing a father is careing a father is someone that is there when the child is sick and when the child is sad and when the child is in need.
2006-08-16 21:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by polkahaunis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that he knew the child wasn't his in any shape or form. I think that's a defense mechanism. This is going to sting for a long time. Just be there for him. This is one situation that I don't think any words can make better.
2006-08-16 21:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by julielove327 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be lucky he is a true person in the sense that he love the child .Why still be open about paternity. Did you not love him anymore???
2006-08-16 21:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by desiree gersaniba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him in every way that counts he is the childs father,
2006-08-16 21:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋