I have been going out with a guy for more than a year. We planned to get married and stuff. But my parents wouldn't approve of it.... In the Country where I am from, most people believe in arranged marriages and my parents too believe this..... my guy now is not a professional. This is the problem I'm having. A guy who is a Doctor has now proposed to me....my family is totally agreeing to this.I know that if my guy cms to meet my parents now...they will never accept him. this doctor guy is comin home to meet me. I don't know what to do. I feel like i have started to like the doctor guy. I do not wish to break my boy frnds heart either. Tell me wht to do...plz...
2006-08-16 20:16:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
arranged marriages isn't a custom in my country.According to my parents, marrying someone educated, even if he's poor is more secure. i'm scared that there's some truth in what they are saying
2006-08-16 20:28:09 · update #1
Well, if you don't want to let go of your boyfriend because you LOVE him, then don't! You're old enough to make your own decisions, and you don't need your family to do it for you. It's YOUR life. Do what you want with it!
2006-08-16 20:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by dimkaluv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this particular case you need to do what ever makes you happy. If you really think you like the doctor guy then go for him, but if you only like him because it pleases your parents then decide which is more important to you, your happiness or your parents approval. If you break up with your boyfriend he will get over it and eventually find someone else.
True love deserves to be fought for, do you have the guts, to fight for it? Arranged marriages used to be common around the world, they no longer are because people fought against them one couple at a time. Who ever you marry you will spend the rest of your life with that person, you will likely raise kids with this person. Who do you picture doing that with.
2006-08-17 03:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Circumstances, feelings and situations vary from person to person. Some person take some event seriously and on the other hand others as light to the same. Generally speaking, i also had love with a pretty girl whose parents not agreed to marry her with me although she had promised me to accompany me in every sort of situation but could not do so even i sent my parents but in vain. Now she & I have been married separately. I donot about her present feelings but as far as I is concerned I could not forget her and feel her defeciency even passing 2 years to my marriage. to me to be doctor, or engineer is not so important to be a good person having eager to progress in the most important thing. Love is a very good thing which should not be sacrificed. Accordingly motivate ur parents especially ur mother. Bring that guy before ur mother and explore his personality and also evalute ur love's strength or in intensity. Last beg enlightenment from Almighty with deeep prayers.
2006-08-17 03:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend you need time because that seems to be what you really need. Tell him that there is the other guy and that the pressure of your parents is too strong at the time and you don't want to drag him into it. Get to know the Doctor, maybe you are just used to your boyfriend. If you find out that you don't really love your boyfriend tell him, even if he gets his heart broken, he will later be grateful that you told him the truth.
Good luck!
2006-08-17 03:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by metztli99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets keep this simple. u r also in love with the doc and u just dont want to break ur bf's heart. if i were u, and like both of em, i would choose the one that would give me more future stability. choose the one whom:
1. is more responsible
2. is more matured and stable financially
3. is good at what he does.
bec at the end of the day, if there is no food on the table, then love flies out the window... if married life is accentuated by financial worries from time to time, love flies out the window...
2006-08-17 03:24:29 · answer #5 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously, in your culture things look like this. you have probably a big family clan and you are expected to act like this.
well first, listen to your heart. do you love you boyfriend? do you start falling in love with the other guy too? - if yes, this is a good sign. and makes things much less complicated. there's too different kind of love's in one's life. it doesn't mean just because you feel love for one guy that you cannot have feelings for another one. also, there might be stronger love-feelings for some people.. or for the special one :)
find out if the doctor-guy REALLY fell in love with you - loves you - and if he really really appreciates you. just because he is a doctor doesn't mean that he deserves you!! what if he knows and realizes the position he is in? what if he takes advantage of this and cares but for himself? i'm just asking. i guess he is a nice guy. but might be that he realizes his advantage. does he care for you and give a little extra effort to win you? if he falls in love, he will... you will know.
if family tradition is very strong, it might be better for you (if you love both of the guys) to start caring more for the second guy. obviously your family wouldn't accept choice number one right now. unless ;) this doctor looses interest in you... this might be the chance to have your one-year old boyfriend be accepted. i hope things work out for you in the right way. look for love. keep your eyes open. make your parents realize that the man needs to really appreciate and totally love you. you are not a trophy or something just because he is a doctor.
good luck in love!!
take care :)
2006-08-17 03:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by india18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look,1st of all u should know who u'd rather be with.
if u want the doctor then go for it,and time will be the cure for ur BF. but if u want ur BF. u should let ur BF. Propose and when ur family disagree then u tell them that u will not marry some1 else but him.and that ur ready to stay single till the rest of ur life.
after saying this ur parents should think twice!
and dont forget what i told u at the beginning,decide who u want!
2006-08-17 03:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by Musty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like one of those indian movies. marry the guy YOU love you'll be happier in the end. Money and position is not everything. I know it's hard to get your family to see this but just try to be honest with them. Ask them to please meet your guy and try to have an open mind. Hopefully they will understand.
Good Luck
2006-08-17 03:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the doctor that you're in love with someone else and if he really wants you to be happy he'll withdraw his proposal.
2006-08-17 03:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by Geronimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to say that u have to break your b/f heart.arranged marriage is against your will but it is a custom to your country
2006-08-17 03:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by Kappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋