was i a fool?

Question

i was in a long distance relationship for about 7-8 years. we was in love . we always said that when our situations got right, then we would move in together, get married etc. im a good guy. never cheated on her, always helped her,never asked her or anything. always respectful to her and told her i loved her all the time,when we first met. she thought i was gonna leave her. she begged me to stay with her. she cheated on me once. begged me to take her back. i did. she broke up with me a few months ago. tonight she told me that she had been dating off and on for years and was just recently seeing someone and she's 3 months pregnant and she left the guy. she claims that she still loves me and always will. but we was too far apart etc. im pretty devastated. but she talks like when i get myself together to let her know etc. she says that she didnt want to lose my friendship,so she couldn't tell me all of this before. what do ya think...am i a fool for believing in her and our relationship

Answer 1

just like i told the other one, gave her a chance, lied a second time and more times and you keep getting burned. see a pattern? she will continue to cheat on you regardless.

Answer 2

Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is.Don't call or be little yourself by calling yourself a fool,you didn't do anything except that you loved this person with all your heart.To be honest,she is the fool,she lost probably the most nicest ,devoted,loving man she will ever know.So it is best that you know and now you need to move on.Just think if you had married her,she probably would of done this anyhow,and would of blamed it on another issue.She never respected nor loved you or this would of never happened.Like you said you have been faithful due to your feelings for her,she was suppose to have the same.She is weak,and now she wants you to still be there to pick her up and now along with another man's baby.The baby is precious,but not her actions.Again move on,and don't let her actions be the judging of another woman that might come into you life.Not all women are like that,unfortunately,you found the real winner of a loser.I am so sorry for your heartache.Best wishes and Good Luck to you!

Answer 3

You may be a fool in that you were *tricked* and isn't it sad considering you were so forgiving?

I'm sorry to hear about your situation but do yourself a big big big favor and do not start back up with this chick. You'll probably start noticing that she'll start talking to you more now that she's pregnant without a father. SHE SCREWED YOU OVER SO DO NOT EVEN GIVE HER THE HOPE THAT YOU WOULD EVEN CONSIDER SUPPORTING HER AND HER CHILD. Justice will be served.

The first time a girl cheats is unfortunately usually an indicator that she will do it again, especially if the reasons she looked elsewhere are still there once the guy takes her back. To be honest you probably did not assert yourself enough and thus she did not respect you enough. Sorry to say but you need to learn to earn respect from people or they will try to make you their doormat. Just the way things work.

Answer 4

1) you sound like a really nice trustworthy guy and you should deserve better then just "another baby momma" who's dated a few guys, got pregnant and doesn't know who the father is because she has to run through a list of guys.
2) shes most likely running back to you for "security" the feeling that her and her child who has an unknown father has a roof over their heads and someone to take care of them
3) yes you are a fool for taking her back all those times. but, you could take her in and see if it really is your child. you never know. so after the child is born get a DNA test and find out.
4) if you still love this girl and you don't want to let her go since you've taken her back into your life so many times you could take care of her and the child even if the resulkts are you are not the father. its all up to you. make the right choice

Answer 5

Yes... you're being her patsy.

Don't you see what you are to her?
You're that person she can always come to.

That no matter how much **** she gives you,
that no matter what she does... you won't leave her.

In other words, you give her all the freedom to do
whatever she wants, without any consequences at all...

This is worse than what a child goes through.

I did this for three years, and I recently ended it.
Trust me, you should be doing the same.

She hasn't actually changed, has she?
It seems like she only comes back to you when she has no one else.

Are you that worthless?
Are you that weak?

Are you really ONLY good enough to be her last choice,
her last resort, her last option when no one else will take her?

No, you're someone aren't you?
You're a good guy, no a GREAT guy, aren't you?

No, don't take this from her.
Don't do this to yourself.

Be something better, someone stronger.
Just say no, walk away....

Don't raise her kid because she can't on her own.
Rather than pulling her up with you,
she's going to pull you DOWN with her.

No... you don't deserve that, no one does.
You deserve someone who'll truly love you,
for you are, someone who'll respect you,
someone who'll always be there for you...
..... not someone like her, who's only with
you when it's convenient for her...

No, people like that aren't worth ****.
But people like you? Twice their weight in gold.

Rise up out of this.....
..... life is so much better when you do.

Answer 6

I don't see you as a fool, because you obviously have the ability to love, forgive, be a great friend, wonderfully supportive and are committed in relationships with loyalty. She has hurt you immensely, and that is an understatement. The only fool in all this is her. Shame on her, for mistreating, such a wonderful man! Someone, someday, will be very very lucky to find you. Now it's time for healing...find yourself again. Reflect, and rediscover yourself. Give yourself at least two years to get back into dating, but don't stop discovering life and new experiences in the world. It is a big place! How wonderful it is to have you in it! Participate, and don't hesitate to make new friends. You deserve to be surrounded by wonderful people, especially those with great humour. Therefore, find your smile, and share it, and close this past door behind you, as you enter into a new world, for you. How you create your new world, well gee's possibilities are endless........wishing you strength and courage and a lot of happiness! Be good to yourself, take care!

Answer 7

Yep.

Did you ever hear the old saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"

You sound like a nice guy. There are a lot of nice girls out there--you will find a better one.

At least you know the baby isn't yours. She could easily have been doing all this, and you just happen to be the father and be stuck with her for the rest of the kids life!

She should be thinking about taking care of that baby now, not about trying to find a new boyfriend!

Answer 8

You're only a fool if you knew this was happening and believed it wouldn't happen again. Cheating on someone is the worst possible way to hurt another person. Sometimes we take chances to find love and sometimes we're vulnerable for doing it. Take the good memories and apply it to your next relationship, but don't forget the bad or you set yourself up to be hurt again.

Answer 9

i think that you should leave her alone. forget a friendship get out. it is obvious that by her dating that she was never as serious about the relationship as you were. you need to wake up to the fac that this relationship is over. if you want proof she is 3 months pregnant with another man's child. as hard as it is for you move on and find someone who deserves you. it sounds to me like she is playing you. don't let her. good luck.

Answer 10

Dude how do you know that kid is yours? or do you? and if she did all that and now you know how can you ever trust her? i mean really what is she gonna be doing while you at work? i'd think long and hard before i went any farther. she obviously has no respect for you. can you live with that thought?