How can i get over my stupid fear?

Question

Everyone is telling me the way to make new friends here is to just say "hello" to someone.

I cant.

Im really shy and i just cant talk to people.

It sucks cause it took me 3 years to get my friends i had to move away from!

I always want to say hi, but im too shy and it sucks cause people think im stuck up, and im not.

Also im a really fun person to be around, i have a sense of humor, i love making people happy, i always make my friend feel better when shes depressed.

I even thought i wasnt shy anymore but thats cause i went to school with my classmates for 3 years! they knew i was shy.

Is there any way possible to talk to people! I dont want to apper rude or stuck up!

And i also can do speeches, i think its cause im afraid of being judged because my work sucks.

People have also told me i need a therapist.

(did anyone ever notice it sounds like ther-a-pissed?)

Answer 1

I know how ya feel. I'm a very shy person also and went years without any friends after moving several times within those years. I was lucky enough to be approached and befriended by my current friends though....

During my last years in high school I was forced to make new ones though and the way I did it was to just start talking to people I'm around throughout the day. I just started casually and then we started to hang out with time.

I'm not sure if this helps or not hopefully things will work out.

Answer 2

I'm exceedingly shy myself, so much so that I don't have a job, and receive disability. A year ago I read a book that changed my life and it had little to do with shyness, but overall mental health. I stopped taking meds, stopped seeing my psychiatrist and now I feel 70% better than the last ten or 15 years of my life. It's called Emotional Resilience by David Viscott.

Besides that, what I've figured out recently is that it's not enough to take small risks in everyday life, like saying hi to a stranger or chatting up the store clerk like the psychiatrist will tell you to do. First let me explain: There are two types of passions you can have, an external one like hiking, biking, bowling, and internal ones like writing poetry, painting, giving internet advice. What you want to do is find an external activity type passion in life, and then do it. While you are doing it you'll encounter others doing the same thing. Those are the people you can take risks to talk to, because they're just like you! Ask them for help, or just a question, or comment on your activity. "Nice weather we're having." "See any wildlife?" "How much farther is it to the lake?" And go from there.

Answer 3

Pretend your not shy, like an actor. Just act for a few seconds. Take on some one Else's personality. Ever walk out of a movie you just loved and think of you self as one of the characters just b/c u thought they were so cool. Well that's what you gotta do. You need to be some one else to get the job done. Convince yourself! and don't give yourself a chance to question it. Bite your lip and just walk into it.

But first make a decision, say to yourself at leased in a day in advanced, tomorrow i will talk to so so. Absolutely no excuse, it will happen. The longer you go like this the harder it will be to overcome it.

Answer 4

There is nothing seriously wrong with you,,i myself suffered with shyness and social anxiety for many years,,as a result i went out of my way to make people laugh, most of the time going overboard and ending up being self critical,,
You need to remember,,,not everyone was taught how to socialize,and some people (people that you thought where realy cool if given the chance) would tell you, that they also suffer from shyness and anxiety.
I have found my own cure for my shyness and anxiety,and that is to open up immediatly and introduce myself to the people i dont know.
Another thing i do is not give a damn what anyone thinks of me,,i think i'm a pretty decent guy,,i know i am smarter than most other guy's,and if someone doesn't like me,,,ahhh well,,,its their loss, and my gain.
So keep your head up, and get to know your own value first. before valuing others.

Answer 5

You've just got to learn to take risks. Fear of rejection feeds on itself and is self perpetuating. You've got just as much chance of being accepted or rejected as anyone else. If you want to talk to someone, ask them questions. People like to talk about themselves. Also people are more willing to be your friend if they don't consider you as needy.

Answer 6

Figure out what it is that you are afraid of.

If you are afraid of "looking stupid", try to "look stupid" on purpose. Make up a contest, enlist your friends, find out who can look stupid the the best. If you win, you might have some thing to worry about.

Answer 7

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Got a hobby? Join a club that interests you and meet like-minded people.

Answer 8

If you can be "brave" enough to at least make eye contact for a few seconds and make a little smile on your lips, then it's a start. Good luck! :)