I have been sleeping with my friend for 2 months and we are both managmous and really care about each other. He has introduced me to his family and we hang out or talk on the phone every day, and have spent the night atleast 6 times already.I want a relationship but he is scared to commet to a relationship cause he was really hurt in the past and was cheated on and is afraid I will cheat on him or something. He is 32 and I am 21. His brother is trying to convince him to commet to me but I don't think he will win that argument. I don't know what to do I have fallen in love with him and it seems like he just wants to **** me and be my friend. Should I end our **** buddy relationship and just remain friends with him or stick with him and see if He will have a relationship with me? please give me some advice please
2006-08-16 17:54:51 · 30 answers · asked by lovelyaquariusfairy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have know him for a year and have been sleeping with him for 2 months.
2006-08-16 18:10:52 · update #1
If you don't mind being used without the commitment, then stick where you are.
If you're ready to fight for what you deserve, give him an ultimatum. Only if you're serious about him and can have a monagamous relationship.
Chances are you will find someone your age with not so much baggage.
If he is not able to learn to trust again, then can you live without that in any future relationship with this man?
2006-08-16 18:01:10 · answer #1 · answered by iniyaitza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the age difference is a HUGE factor here. I think he might be thinking that you are somewhat of a toy. I can remeber being that age and hanging around with a 25 year old. The last thing I was going to do was settle down with her but the buddy sex was great. The bad news was that was all I wanted and she wanted a HELL of a lot more.
My real advice is to start to look elsewhere, however if you like the sex and understnd that is all it is, is sex then keep a close contact.
Best of luck you sound like a very nice young woman.
2006-08-18 00:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though he is either not interested in a relationship and is using the being hurt before as an excuse as he does not want to lose the sex or he is not mature enough to deal with the being hurt before.
Either way you can do better. Do you really want someone to be with you because their brother convinced them to. Either he feels for you or he doesn't.
On the flip side, it has only been two months and maybe you are looking for too much too soon. Agree to see other people and continue to see each other (just practise safe sex) and see where it goes. Someone who feels trapped will always run.
2006-08-17 01:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by diablo_tiburon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, a guy who is serious about a relationship and is 32 better get real and stop being scared to commit. So, to put it bluntly, he just doesn't want to commit to you. If a super hot movie star came along and wanted a relationship with him, I bet you he would want to commit real fast. Coincidence? Doubt it. you will just have to lay it on the line with him, otherwisw please don't waste any more of your feelings or time with this guy. The longer you are with him the more attached you will get. Don't settle for less than what you expect ever from anyone. If this guy isn't willing to commit, believe you me, you are worth it and there are about a trillion other people in the world that are capable of committing to you. Good luck.
2006-08-17 01:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by moreblondforyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop @#@# him. He is so using you. I am 32 as well and I know I could make a 21 year-old do what ever I wanted. The past relationship excuse is crap. It was the past and it should remain in the past. Its his excuse for not commiting. Your 21...have fun while your young..cut him off and do your own thing for a few months...see what he thinks than. If it is real and not mind games he'll still be waiting for you. If he is playing you he'll be long gone.
2006-08-17 01:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by fingerpuppytoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a like a really good person that has fallen in love with a man that is incapable of committing and is using I was hurt in the past to get out of giving you what you need, while you are giving him what he wants. Move on as hard as it is, you are not getting what you need. Maybe this is the wake up that he needs.
2006-08-17 01:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Chelle C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a game he's playing with you...i mean he may have been hurt or whatever...but those shouldn't stop him from wanting to committ to you even with his brother supporting you both getting together. you should end sleeping together simply because if he doesnt want a relationship with you other than just friends he shouldn't reap those benefits...once you cut the sex out maybe he will come around...but dont let that stop you from getting to know other guys.
2006-08-17 01:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by tcb_2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he won't commit it will only hurt you in the long run as you're developing such strong feelings. try and remain friends but end the other side of the relationship. he may just have it so cushy know that you stopping it would give him the insentive he needs to commit
2006-08-17 00:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by s f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes if i were you i would end it cause it sounds like the only thing that he wants from you is sex and if he cared about you then he would get with you and commet to you , but he is only after one thing and you should have some self respect and tell him no more until he is your boyfriend and be honest with him about everything .
2006-08-17 01:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by dolphinluver690 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's playing games, and he's good at it. He's 32 and you're much younger and barely know "the game" yet. Guys that old are just interested in snagging a young piece of "ace" to prove.. "they still got it". If that makes sense..
2006-08-17 00:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by PlasticTrees 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋