Funniest jokes get a automatic 10 points! No you mama jokes please. Or you can anwser the question ,Whats the joke about the tribe catching the 3 guys and they having to put fruits up them.?
2006-08-16 16:59:44 · 20 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Yea, this is the funniest joke.
Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said, I brought ten apples. The king then explained, Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or youll be eaten. The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.
The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
1...2....3....7...8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!
The second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy coming with 10 pineapples.
2006-08-16 17:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Romeo 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting. At the station, the lawyers each buy a ticket but the engineers buy just one. When asked why, the engineers coyly said "You'll see."
They all board the train, the lawyers taking seats, but the three engineers all crowding into the bathroom. After the train has left, the conductor comes around and takes the lawyers tickets and knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket Please." An arm stretches out from the bathroom and the
conductor takes the proffered ticket. The lawyers were very impressed.
On the return trip, the lawyers proposed to emulate the gearheads and bought only one ticket. To their amazement, the engineers bought no ticket at all. When asked, the engineers said, "You'll see."
All board the train and the lawyers and engineers cram into separate bathrooms to await the conductor. After a few minutes,
one of the gearheads emerges from the bathroom, goes over to the lawyers' bathroom, knocks on the door and says: "Ticket
please."
______________________________...
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terribly, doctor, terribly."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
2006-08-17 00:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Callie Ann ♥ 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
String goes into a bar, and asks the barkeep for a beer.
Barkeep says "we don't serve strings"
The string leaves and goes out side cuts himself in half ties himself back together, ruffles up his ends and returns.
Goes to the bar and again asks the barkeep for a beer.
the barkeep says " Aren't you that same string that was in here a few minutes ago"
The string says " Nope I'm a frayed knot"
2006-08-17 00:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by Harley 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
3 surgeons all bragging about which one was the greatest, the 1st one said a man came to me with his arm cut off, now he is a professional pitcher, the second surgeon said thats nothing, this man came to me with both legs cut off, and now he is a professional football player, the 3rd surgeon said you guys are amatures,a cowboy from taxas on his horse ran into a train and all that was left was his hat and the horses rear end, and he is now the president.
2006-08-17 00:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by theladylooking 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl
across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in
handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.
"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely"?
"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and
the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I
get scared of the dark."
"How about transportation"? the father asked.
"I have my wagon and we both have our tricycles," the little boy
answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When
you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."
"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not
going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on
it!"
2006-08-17 01:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
ok, here was this blonde who died, then she went up to heaven (don't complain to me, it's how the joke goes), she knocked on the door and St, PEter comes out.
-(Jeshhh, a blonde, I don't have the nerve today to deal with it). May I help you?
-Oh, yeah, I am like... you know, like I don't know why I died, I was beautiful and like, totally nice.
-I am really busy right now, can't take care of you.
-Ok.... so, this is like totally not cool, first I die, then I am like stuck here?
-How about I send you back to earth? How would you like to reencarnate uh? I can do that for you.
-Wow, are you serious? that sounds like so hot, I wanna reencarnate in a mermaid, can you do that?
-Done
St, Peter nodes and closes the door of heaven, a second after someone knocks at the door again.
-Didn't I just sent you back to earth? what happened, why are you here again?
-I totally drowned.
2006-08-17 00:10:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 3⤋
Man is driving down a country road and sees another man tried to a fench with his pants down. The man stops and asks the other man what happened. He replies "Two farm boys beat me up tied me to the post and had there way with me". The man who stopped starts upbuttoning his pants and says "well buddy, this just aint your day"
2006-08-17 00:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by Hard Rocker 3 · 10⤊ 2⤋
3 guys meet & in heaven & ask each other y dey died.
1st guy: I was walking down the street when suddenly a refridgerator fell on me & killed me.
2nd guy: I got home & found another man's clothes in my room.My wife refused to tell me who it belonged to & I was so upset I decided to throw all our appliances out of the window.I started with the refridgerator, but it was too heavy so I fell out the window with it.
3rd guy: Well I was sitting in a refridgerator when suddenly......
2006-08-17 01:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by pelexi(",) 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
3 guys go on a hike through the woods and they are attacked by a tribe of indians... the are taken back to the tribe's city and are presented to the leader. the leader says "you may have your freedom if u go into the jungle, get 10 of the same frui." when they each get back they are told they have to put them all in their butt. the first guy comes back withe cherries. and he accomplishes what he has too. he is let go. the seccond guy comes back with apples... he painfully accomplishes what he has too and he is given his freedom. as he is leaving he sees the first guy and they are talking about the experience when all of a sudden they see the third guy walking back... with pinapples
2006-08-17 00:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 7⤋
The tribe joke is where three guys get caught by some cannibals and are going to eat them but the one who brings back the best fruit doesn't get eaten. The first guy comes back with cherries and the head tribesmen says okay now you have to stick them up your ***. Its very uncomfortable but he does it. The next guy comes with bananas and has to do the same thing but before he could get the last one in he stopped. The head tribesmen asked why did you stop? He said because I saw the law guy coming with watermelons.
2006-08-17 00:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by Elim 5 · 5⤊ 9⤋