I have been with my bf for 6 years...I told him I want to get married and he says he isn't ready and needs at least another 3-5 years to think about the idea of getting married. I told him I need to know if we will ever get married or not....and he says I am sure we will end up stuck together anyways...How can I get him to see marriage isn't a bad thing? Why does he think this way about marriage? Do all guys think like this? How do I stop arguing about wanting to know what the future of this relationship is?
2006-08-16 16:59:08 · 15 answers · asked by Strawberry 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am in my mid 20's and he is almost 30...he never seems to want to talk about marriage and always seems to argue or say something mean or bad in regards to marriage...
2006-08-16 17:00:46 · update #1
You are never going to get someone to see something they for whatever reasons don't want to see it sucks but its true. The reason he acts that way is he doesn't want to commit to you in the way of marriage so to avoid the topic he gets defensive and a argument occurs so maybe you will stop asking him. The question is what are you going to do girl? keep on the way you are/or put your foot down and stand up for what you want?
2006-08-16 17:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by Chris T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two arguing is scaring him. If there's alot of confrontation going on, there wouln't be too much positive in a marriage to look forward to.
Sounds like you need to revive the relationship. You can start by telling him all of the secrets that you've been keeping from him. If he's a real man, he'll reciprocate.
2006-08-17 00:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by John C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say goodbye and don't look back except to wish him a Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving. NO happy birthday. That's overkill. Let me ask you a question. You asked about initiating sex. Is he withholding? Run if he is. It just gets worse after marriage.... a marriage that ain't comin' with this one.
But to answer your question about the arguing: it takes 2 people to argue. Just stop talking. Works with my hubby like a charm.
2006-08-17 00:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy, 26 - I'd like to get married, but haven't found the one (and even if i did, i don't have lots of cash on-hand). Maybe he thinks it's too expensive to get married. That's a big deal for everybody, and it hurts the relationship if you're broke.
PS, I don't think like him - I wouldn't make a girl wait more than a year if we dated more than 2 yrs. and knew we loved each other. But i think i'm rare.
2006-08-17 00:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by jdfehrenbach 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some guys like my guy also believe marriege is the worst thing a man could ever do. Leave him if you really want to get married. Because with that guy the only way he will marry you is when he's 50 and he realizes he doesnt want to die alone.
2006-08-17 00:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by skdfjasl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you ever stop and think he might be scared. maybe his parents didn't have a good marriage. i been with my boyfriend for seven years and he just got out of a bad marriage. i want to get married to.but the best thing to do is don't keep bugging him about it. just be happy right now and be thankful what you have with him. don't push the subject. when he is ready he will let you know. good luck.
2006-08-17 00:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
. BurtWell if you have kahunas (balls)give him an ultimatum. My father asked My mom for a 5 year engagement and she said oh no, i don't think so. If you want children just tell him there needs to be a marriage, Tell him either you break up or get engaged, if he walks at least you will know he wasn't a long term investment. But be prepared ahead of time for either answer.
2006-08-17 00:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by magpie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just stop. Don't say anything. Don't push issues. Just take one day at a time.you are trying to HAVE him when you already GOT him. You are trying toooooo hard. Nobody wants to get married with a pistol to their head. BACK OFF and let him think about it in his own timing. He's telling u he's not ready and neither are u. You are thinking only of what YOU want when he is trying to communicate what he needs..........TIME. And you can only hear your own selfish desires. He didn't say NO he said WAIT A DARN MINUTE!!!!
2006-08-17 00:07:05 · answer #8 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
where is it written that you have to wait for him?? you have just as much right to propose as he does....he'll have to budge one way or another.....if it's no i would move on....especially if you want kids... he's just stalling you as long as you will take it.....does he have all the benefits that married people do? living with him and taking care of him like a wife would?....if so i would never! put up with it....maybe you should make some new rules...good luck...
2006-08-17 00:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Summer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT PRESSURE HIM!!!! I FEEL THE SAME WAY HE DOES BUT WONT MARRY CAUSE IM NOT TRULY IN LOVE THE WAY I WANT TO BE.I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND HAVE A CHILD WITH HIM.HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I FEEL I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM BUT FEEL BAD ABOUT MARRYING HIM WHEN OUR LOVE IS DIFFERENT.
2006-08-17 00:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋