I think he's bipolar or has anger management issues or something. He turns into a different person when he's mad. The worst part is, I don't do anything to even deserve what he puts me through. I say or do something really small and it triggers him and he blows up...
after he calms down, he reluctantly admits he was out of line but this has happened way too many times. Even if I break up with him, I think it's a good idea for him to talk to someone that can help. He's got a lot of pride and will probably never talk to anyone because you generally associate psych patients with being "crazy"
I just want him to understand what he's doing and get help. How do I set something up for him? Is there anywhere with free counseling?
Real answers, please! Thanks
2006-08-16 16:50:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP! I'm not kidding! people like that take a lot of time to change the way they have acted for so long. the reason for his anger issues, or bipolar attitudes, might be because of the way he was brought up. The most important advice is that, you need to get out. The only thing that will come out of this relationship is pain for you both. 1) he will resent himself, and 2) you could end up being quite incapable of normal human being emotions, and you could get hurt.
I know it isn't easy to hear, that someone is telling you do dump this person, who you might have been with for a long time, but don't blame yourself for the break-up. But it has to happen. It won't be easy. but I wish you all the luck, and I'll pray for you!
2006-08-16 16:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by broadwaystar162002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly he has to WANT to seriously go for treatment. You dont indicate whether he has insurance or not, his age etc. Most mental health issues are covered by insurance, so it might be a good place to start. One of my ex's was exactly the way your boyfriend was, except he might have been worse. He blew up for no reason, and would literally kick holes in walls, break anything he could get his hands on etc. He didnt do this when I was home, but when I got back I would see the tirade he put himself through. The clincher was when he did this for the THIRD time, and was covered in blood by stepping on glass that he had broken. I (like an idiot) cleaned him and his place up. I told him that he HAD to see a doctor and a psychiatrist or therapist OR I would tell his family. Somehow he agreed, and to this day is on drugs that completely changed his life around...for the better. BUT...I left him after he got better. I could not forsee myself or my future with someone like this. We are still the best of friends, in fact I saw him today. But I am married now to a wonderful man (who knows all about this) who has shown me the difference between putting up with darkness when there is so much light to be had. PLEASE think of your own well being hon. He has to want to change. Be his friend, but do yourself a HUGE favor and try to distance yourself from him. You will think of this conversation and thank all of us in the future. God bless you.
2006-08-16 17:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by Californiagal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could offer to go to counseling with him, but I fear for you if you do this. If he gets that defensive about other stuff I can't imagine how he'd react to you dropping that little bomb.
You need to know that it's OK for you to not take care of him. You take care of you. You're not married, so that whole "in sickness and in health" deal doesn't apply to you. Clearly you care for him, which is lovely, but your sanity and safety should come first. I'd end it and tell him why. Perhaps that will be the impetus he needs to seek help. Once he's worked his issues out he will be better equipped to handle an adult relationship.
You didn't create him or his problem and you cannot change him. It's a huge mistake to think you can - I wasted three years of my life trying to change someone before I woke up. I strongly suggest that you seek counseling as well - it helped me move on.
Good luck, hon.
2006-08-16 17:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by Irish Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do it for him. He has to want to do it himself. The only way he can be forced into seeing a mental health counselor or attending anger management classes is if a court orders it. Has he physically assaulted you? That is when you should call the police and have him charged. If you can't do that, then leave him before you end up seriously injured or worse.
2006-08-16 16:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen Leo D, you need to sit him down, make it seem serious keep him looking into your eyes, i mean make him think something is very wrong. Tell him you cant stay in an abusive relationship any more, so either do something, or im out of hear. Let him know how serious you are but still remind him off what you go threw and how much you care for him.
If hes worth being with, he will do something. What he has is just to destructive. Its dumb to put up with it, when help is so easy to get.
2006-08-16 16:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt sound like bipolar if it happens specifically when he is angry. But this guy defenately has something going on, and should seek help!
If he is acting out at you, hurting you physically or verbally, it is ABUSE, and you don't deserve that!
Be supportive about his seeking help. Offer to go with him. If all else fails, give him an ultamatum - he gets help or you leave. If he's not willing to get help to keep you, then he doesn't deserve you.
Best of luck!
2006-08-16 17:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by Miss B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a really good question. I want my husband to go too but I don't think there's a really good way to approach it. I think you should get out of the relationship and then talk to him as a friend. Maybe a good time to approach that situation is when he admits he was out of line. You should suggest you go to a counselor to help you both. Hope this helps!
2006-08-16 17:01:49 · answer #7 · answered by PRINCEZZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does not sound like sociopath, mostly because he is actually telling you all of this. Early means much younger then 16, where symptoms include abusing animals, other kids, etc. I mean, how many times are we talking about? Two or three shanks should be enough for anyone, once you get past about 10, you're crazy.
2016-03-16 23:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a no win deal on either side
1. if you do get him to go chances is he is going to be put ofn pills for life and it is permnant on his record
2. that will destroy his chance of a real paying job
3. Once people hear about he has mentle problem and he was talking to a head doctor and he is on pills people will shone him
A friend of mine was that way his girlfriend tried the same methods and he went alone with it for a few month and he was trying for a job to surport himself but the pills he was taking messed him up big time and also his mentle record no enployer would hire him so the next week he tied a rope to his bed up stairs and put it around his neck and climbed out of the window to his death. he dropped 5and a half feet before his neck snapped instant death. so I say leave him is the best way
2006-08-16 17:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Paul G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always check out these sites if he is refusing to see someone, maybe self help will work??
Bipolar &the Art Of Rollercoaster Riding.
Practical, fun, 'brilliant' a compelling buy for sufferers of bipolar disorder (2% of population) Stacks of affiliate info. http://kristyf.brettell.hop.clickbank.net
Natural Healing For Bipolar Disorder.
Learn how to prevent serious illness and side effects of prescription Rx: Treat Bipolar and Depression Without Medication!
http://kristyf.bpwomeds1.hop.clickbank.net
2006-08-16 16:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by jodi_bel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋